Love Doctors {Harley Quinn x Poison Ivy}

Chapter 16: College all over again

!TW!

Harley Quinn's pov:
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     I stare at my reflection long before I get into the shower. I see the bruises and cuts all over my body. I can still feel the tenderness from where Joker had gripped my hair to hold me back. It was almost as if I could still feel his belt whipping me across my face, leaving welts across my body. It hurt; everything did. My arms, my legs, my face, my torso, my pride, my head, my heart, everything. Everything was just one big loop of nothing but pain.

     After coming to the conclusion that staring at my body wasnt going to help, I got into the shower. The warm water seeped into my cuts and stung me until I felt nothing. I thought about what the Joker did. It's nothing I hadn't felt before, but it didnt help the mentality of it all. It was as if I had never experienced anything like it, which I knew wasnt true.

     I reached for the body wash. I squeezed out some into my loofah and started to wash my body. I told myself it wasnt my fault; that there was nothing I could have done. But that didnt stop me from scrubbing my body for hours, trying to get rid of his touch. I could still feel his lips on my neck even after I scrubbed until my skin was raw. I could still feel his hands around my waist, no matter how many hours I spent in the shower. I knew it wasnt my fault and yet I couldnt seem to forgive my body for the way it had been touched. I felt so filthy. So dirty. Like a rotten whore.

     I tried to close my eyes to block out the thoughts, but it didnt help. Anytime I closed my eyes, I could still see his face staring at me with lust in his eyes with his smile that was so distinctive. I rinsed my body as I reached for the shampoo. I squeezed some into my hands before starting to clean my hair. Everytime my hand moved, I could feel it hitting the bump on my head from where the Joker had pulled my hair until my scalp was swollen. I grimaced closing my eyes, only to force them open, not wanting to see his face. I rinsed my hair before turning off the water, which was now cold because of the long shower.

     I dried off my body with the softest towel we had, but even that hurt. The cuts were starting to scab over and I knew that they would soon be gone. The bruises, however, would not be healed as easily. I put on a bra once dry and looked at myself in the mirror. It was the same style of bra I was wearing that night. I quickly took it off and threw it in the floor as I rummaged through the drawer. All push up bras except one sports bra.
I put on the sports bra and looked at my reflection again. I felt better, but still no where near okay.

     I slipped on some panties and loose shorts. I threw on the baggiest shirt I could find to hide my body parts. I made my way outside of the bathroom, too lazy to dry my hair. I didnt have the motivation to do hardly anything. I was surprised that I even took a shower.

     Ivy was waiting for me in the living room. She was sitting on the couch, clearly to distracted to watch tv, but was trying anyways.

     "Watcha watchin?" I asked trying to sound happy.

     "I dont know; some cooking show. Look, Harls, we need to talk." Ivy answered, turning down the volume on the tv.

     "What did I do this time?" I groaned as I flopped down next to Ivy on the couch.

     "I'm not joking, babe. This is serious." Ivy said, making me sit straight up. "I know it's soon and I dont want to force you into anything or pressure you, but Harls I have to know....what exactly happened that night with Joker?"

      I looked down at my hands as I fidgeted with a loose string on my shirt. I could feel my chest tighten, but I forced myself to stay calm. I had to be happy. I had to be okay. I had to put on a smile for Ivy. A voice in my head told me that she would take advantage of me if I didnt.

     "Hey, I know this is going to be a rough conversation, but it needs to happen. I know it and deep down, you know it too. So let's just get it over with and talk to me." Ivy softly urged as she grabbed a hold of my hands.

     "I just dont want ya to be mad at me." I admitted as I pulled my hands away.

     "Mad at you? Baby, I dont care if you had sex with the man! All I want is for you to be okay. I'm not going to be mad." Ivy said with a slight smile.

     I didnt respond. I knew Ivy was joking, but she didnt know how true it really was. Ivy's smile dropped and her face froze after I stayed silent for to long.

     "Oh my god, harley.......did you fucking sleep with him?" She asked, anger slightly rising in her voice.

     "Not willingly!" I quickly blurted out, trying to calm Ivy down.

     "You're gonna have to be more specific than that. What are you talking about?" Ivy demanded.

     "I mean it wasnt my choice. He forced me!" I yelled. I sighed and lowered my voice before continuing. "He was hitting me with his belt. Over and over and over again. I thought it would never stop. I didnt want to give him the satisfaction, so I kept a straight face and pretended it wasnt hurting. He said that If I wasnt going to give him the reaction he wanted then he was going to have his own fun. He dropped his pants and........he cut open my shirt and took off my panties. It was college all over again. And I couldn't do anything to s-stop it! It hurt so bad and I was screaming and begging for someone to h-help but no one did! They just watched. I couldnt do anything about it!!!"

     I was trying so hard to keep it together, but before I knew it, I was in Ivy's arms again. As much as I hated to admit it, I felt safer in Ivy's arms than I did in the comfort of my own mind. I didnt want to fight anymore. I accepted defeat and sobbed into Ivy's chest until I fell asleep.

     "He will pay for this. I can promise you that." I heard Ivy say before drifting off into dream land.