Love Doctors {Harley Quinn x Poison Ivy}

Chpater 7: Bathroom

**A/N: I promise the whole book isn't going to be crying. The love is happening soon; I promise, but for now happy reading!**

Harleen's pov:
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     I didn't know how to feel after Ivy's session. I thought for sure she would jump on the opportunity to make me feel weaker than I already felt. I was already embarrassed and mad at myself for breaking down, so it would have been like taking candy from a baby. And yet, she just listened. Listened to me ramble on about my past and then switched the subject when it got to be to much. She held my head up and wiped my tears as if she really cared and then defended me whenever Joker called me 'lady'. I knew sympathy was still within her reach, but I didn't know how close she really was to it.

     I didn't want to think about it. She gave me the information I needed to continue on with her case. Her father abused her and her mother. That sounded familiar. I thought back to Lola. It had been two days since I talked to her. I didn't feel as though she wanted to talk about it. I thought about inviting her over again tonight, but didn't want to anger her husband anymore than he already was. I just didn't want her to be alone in the house with him.

     I decided to take a walk to relax my mind as I went to the bathroom. It was the farthest room from mine so it would give me plenty of time to think. Arkham's bathroom had many stalls within the room, so I didn't knock before entering. I walked over to a sink and stared into the mirror. I didn't look the best. I had bits of mascara under my eyes and you could see certain parts of my face where my foundation had rubbed off.  I rolled my eyes at my reflection. I had been so stupid to let Ivy get the best of me.

     I took out some makeup wipes from my small purse and wiped off all my makeup. My eyes were a light pink and my nose was still red from crying. I rested my hands on either side of the sink, making my shoulders arch up beside my neck. I sighed looking down into the white sink. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts, because I didn't even hear the toilet flush whenever Lola came out of her stall.

     "Harleen?" She gently called my name as she put her hand on mine.

     I had my eyes closed, but I could still tell who it was. I didn't care to respond. I could feel my throat start to hurt as I felt my eyes water at the feeling of being touched in a caring way. No one had cared for me in a long time. No one had to; because as long as I smiled ever now and then, it meant I was okay in their minds.

     "Are you alright?" She asked seeing my nose turn red again.

     I knew I couldn't respond with words. If I did, I would have broken down right then and there. I couldn't put that on Lola. I forced a smile on my face and threw a thumbs up into the air, all while keeping my eyes shut tight. She stood there for a minute, just waiting for me to say something. I never did. Eventually, she gave me a soft pat on the back and left the bathroom. That was my last straw.

     I ran into the nearest bathroom stall, shut the door, and dropped to my knees. I took my glasses off and threw my back against the wall, bringing my knees to my chest as I buried my face into them. It started off with just a few tears, but soon developed into a muffled cry. I gasped for air as I squeezed my legs closer into me. I wanted a hug more than anything, but couldn't bring myself to go get Lola. I already had my chance for comfort and walked away from it.

     "For someone who shuts themself out, you don't know how to lock the stall door very well." A voice called out from very close.

     I glanced up to see none other than Lola herself standing at the doorframe of the bathroom stall. At first I was relived, but that relief was soon replaced with embarsssment and guilt.

     "Sorry...I thought I heard you leave." I said slapping myself on the forehead.

     "I did. And then I heard your heels move very fast and I came back in." Lola said sitting next to me with her back also against the wall. "So are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to therapy it out of you?"

     I gave a faint smile. I knew she was joking. Lola would never make me tell her anything I didn't want to tell her. I debated telling her about my professor, but I couldn't give her that type of leverage over me. I just couldn't. Being vulnerable was not something I was good at.

     I buried my face back into my hands. I wanted my face to be hidden from view. Lola changed position and sat in front of me instead of beside me. She gently put her hands around mine and slowly pulled them down from my face. I watched through a thick film of tears as she did the same thing I had once done for her. She wrapped her strong supporting arms around my back and pulled me in close. This made me loose it as I completely broke down inside of her arms. She put one of her hands around my head and guided it to her shoulder where I laid my head down. It had been so long since I had been held, I had forgotten what it felt like.

     "What are you afraid of, Harleen?" Lola asked softly as she gently patted my back. "Why are you afraid to open up?"

     I pulled my arms away from her back and set my hands in my lap. I stared down at the floor as tears fell from my eyes. Lola tried looking at my face, but I turned my head, avoiding eye contact. She put her hand on the side of my face and directed my gaze towards her.

     "You wanna know what I'm scared of? What my biggest fear is?" I asked pulling her hand away from my face.

     "Only if you want to talk about it." She responded putting her hands into her lap and giving me a concerned look. I took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

     "My biggest fear is finally allowing myself to care for someone and then having them leave me just like everyone else does." I said with a sigh. "If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me."

     "I would never hurt you, Harleen." She said pulling me back into her.

     I felt the tears start to swell up in my eyes again, but I pushed them away. I couldn't do this any longer. If I stayed for another second, I would break down again. I stood up, grabbed my purse, and started to walk out.

     "Hey, you never told me what was wrong." Lola said putting her hand on my shoulder before I could leave.

     "It's personal." I said shrugging my shoulder out from under her hand.

     "So you're just going to shut me out too?" She asked as I opened the door.

     "I do what I have to do to make it through the day." I said walking past all the cells and through the front door.

     I climbed into my car and sat in the drivers seat with the door closed. I closed my eyes before punching my steering wheel as I screamed at the top of my lungs. I punched the steering wheel until my knuckles hurt from the impact. I loudly cried as I drove home.