Survivor - Connor x OC

clementine

Halsey - clementine

Drowning. That's what this felt like. Not in the literal sense, water filling your lungs, pressing in all around you while you thrashed. No, just a weightlessness, while thoughts flickered through her mind so fast, she could scarcely process.

She tried to focus on the images that were crowding her head. The more she grasped onto a single one, the more it seemed to slow, until she could finally see what she was looking at. CyberLife tower, but no part she'd ever been to, surrounded by androids. A memory from Connor's mind.

As she calmed down, the images began to make sense. Connor had been truthful; she could see anything and everything through his eyes. She could feel the emotions he had felt.

More than that though, she could feel Connor. It was like being immersed in him. A delicate feeling of warmth wrapped around her whole being, keeping her safe. She could stay in that place forever.

Until Connor finally released her, the synthetic skin molding back over his hand. Taylor blinked back into reality, in the master bedroom of the ridiculously large house that Alex had rented for her. He was still sitting in front of her, his hand outstretched, his LED blinking red.

During their connection, she hadn't been able to see what Connor was seeing inside of her head. Probably for the best. But she knew that he knew what he was doing, and he could process information much faster than she could. She was still trying to organize the things she had seen.

"Connor, are you okay? I told you—" He cut her sentence off by reaching for her again, pulling her very suddenly against his chest. His arms tightened around her, and she knew that had she still been human, she'd have been in pain. He buried his face against her neck.

"Hey," she said, alarmed. She wriggled in his hold until she could move her arms around him, stroking one hand down his back. "Hey, it's alright."

"I'm sorry." He muttered against her skin, but he didn't let her go. She didn't know what he was apologizing for. She didn't know what he had seen, or if he was just apologizing for his behavior. She kept stroking his back, worried.

Taylor knew that her head was a disaster area. She had suffered from anxiety since she was a child, had gone through trauma at a young age, and at times experienced unbelievable fear for almost no reason. The idea that Connor would see all of that, along with all of her ugliest memories, was the reason she'd said no to this at first.

She couldn't deny him anything, though. Not in the end, when he'd looked so earnest and asked her to trust him. He clearly had wanted this very much. She just didn't think he'd known what he was in for at the time.

"Connor, look at me." She said, gently trying to pull away. He relaxed his hold on her just enough for her to lean away, then very slowly lifted his head. There were tears collected on his cheeks, his LED a solid amber now, and she felt her heart breaking for him. Reaching up, she brushed the pads of her thumbs over his cheeks, wiping his tears away.

"I saw it all. Everything." His voice was barely above a whisper. She tried not to grimace. This was definitely her fault then. Alex had told her that she didn't ruin anything, but it was hard not to feel like she wasn't ruining Connor.

"It's okay." She said, instead of 'I told you so'. Her fingers were dabbing away the last of his tears now, but he still looked forlorn. "It's all in the past now. They're just memories."

He didn't look convinced. That little line was etched in between his eyebrows, a frown on his lips. She kept her hands on his face and leaned in, pressing her forehead to his like he did so often. "It can't have all been bad. Did you see anything good?"