[Shadowhunter] Imagines

You won't understand - Clary Fairchild

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You are Simon's sister and secretly have a crush on Clary since you were kids.

Characters involved: You, Clary Fairchild, Simon Lewis, Luke Garroway, Alec Lightwood, Maia Roberts

Triggers: Homophobia (DISCLAIMER: This chapter is written out of the perspective of a girl)

Request: life-in-PURPLE

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You were channeling your way through the almost empty hallways.

Since some weeks you lived here in the institute, together with your brother Simon and Clary. Apparently the world out there was too dangerous for people who knew too much.

It didn't make things better... Not at all.

Obviously you grew up with your brother, and Clary being his best friend, you also grew up with her. She was also the one who made you questioning everything in your universe.

Now that you lived together with her, even in one room, the feelings became more present.

Usually you were able to control your feelings but those times are over. Everytime you saw her red curls bouncing, her beautiful green eyes blinking, her full lips smiling... It made your heart skip a beat.

It would have been the perfect love story. Two good friends with a good and secure emotional basis fall in love and take care of each other... But there was a problem... Clary is straight.

She told you all her romantic stories, her 'bed meetings', the guys she kissed... And all that while you were holding the salty tears back. All of her words felt like sharp daggers in your heart and stomach.

Over the years you got used to rejection. You didn't try to love anymore, you tried to hide your feelings. But keeping feelings in, doesn't make anything better.

If you let those monsters called 'feelings' in, they eventually start nibbeling on your mind. The monsters tear your heart apart and make your insides aches. It never stops.

Deep in your thoughts, you didn't notice that the cause of your problems was running after you. "Y/N, wait!"

You turned around to saw her run the last feet, her  red locks bouncing, when she stopped right in front of you, her smile as bright as the sun.

"I was about to go out to the Hunter's moon. Wanna join?" The question made you smile. You two together spending time and talking? Hell yeah. You smiled lightly and wanted to answer. But she was faster.

"I thought you could be like my wingman... wingwoman... You know?" She still smiled, yours disappeared from your pretty face.

The disappointment changed into anger. "You know what, Clary? Fuck off."

With that you turned around and went into your room, leaving the redhead behind, staring. You grabbed your stuff and threw it into your brother's room, who was currently taking a shower.

The moment he left the bathroom and saw the huge pile of your things he just smiled. "I won't ask... Just don't take the entire bed up, little sister."

He patted your shoulder and gave you a kiss on the cheek. He was truly the best brother someone could wish for. He didn't force you to talk and just accepted the weird you.

The next days you didn't even leave the room. Simon got you some food and new books every once in a while and let you have your save space, sometimes even sleeping in Jace's room, because he knew he was snoring and he didn't want to bother you. He prefered to bother Jace.

After a week you heard a knock on the door. You knew it wasn't Simon. Simon just shouted and opened doors, he never knocked.

Annoyed you told the person to come in. It was Clary.

She opened her mouth to say something, but this time you were faster. "Go."

Clary seemed confused. "What? What is wrong with you? I have done nothing wrong."

You smiled sarcastically and let out a sharp breath. "Oh, so constantly stepping on someone's heart is called 'nothing'. You won't understand." You planned saying that, so it came out pretty smooth.

"Well, it's not my problem that you are lesbian!" The redhead was angry now.

You didn't believe what you just heard. "Are you kidding me? You knew that I was lesbian the entire time?" 

"Of course, it was obvious. You tried to flirt with me several times and not all the guys in this world made you understand that you would be the last person on this earth I'd like to have a relationship with. Get over it." She smiled feisty.

Having tears in your eyes, Alec was the one who saved you. He appeared behind Clary and pulled her out of the room. "I'd run if I was you." With that he smashed the door shut right in front of her face.

"I heard what you were talking about. Straight people... some of them don't know how to behave... Don't worry about it. There are better people out there. People who appreciate the real you." Alec said supportive and sat down next to you.

The tears started to run over your cheeks and you began to sob lightly. He hugged you tight. "Don't change. Not for anyone in this world. And don't take her words too serious. She'll never be happy with that attitude."

After some more days of not leaving your room, Alec literally dragged you outside.

You reached the big entrance hall and sat down on a desk, the arms crossed in front of your arms.

Two people entered the institute. You remembered Jace saying that it's the werewolf pack.

"Stay here, I'll get Jace. He'll help us with that demon problem." The man said.

The other woman, a girl with curly brown hair and beautiful milk coffee colored skin rolled her stunning eyes. "Luke, I can handle the demon. I really don't like the blonde dude."

Luke chuckled. "Kiddo, you don't like any dudes at all."

She just smiled and the man left.

You couldn't help yourself but stare. She noticed  after a while and came over. Your heart began to beat faster and your breathing increased. You could feel your face redding.

She now stood in front of you and you swallowed hard.

The woman just smiled. "Now that you already stare at me like that, I think I deserve to know your name."

You stuttered your name and felt the blush in your face intensifying.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Maia."