Satisfied

Chapter 17

It's my final performance and I'm heartbroken. I'm not ready to leave the stage but I don't have a choice. Since it was my last performance, Reneé insisted that I play Angelica tonight.

When I told the cast my reason for leaving, everyone was ecstatic. "Our first Hamilbaby!" Thayne said jumping up and down. Seeing everyone excited made me happy. "I just know Daveed is in straight daddy mode now" Andrew said smiling from ear to ear. I exchanged glances with Oak who was standing next to him and forced a smile on my face. "Yep, he doesn't let me lift a finger" I bragged. I couldn't bear to tell everyone that we weren't together anymore. For one, I didn't want them to hate him and two, dropping bad news after good news would make the air weird and everyone is happy for us so I'm just going with it.

I walked in the dressing room and saw the entire cast holding a rose in their hand. I covered my mouth and tears started to form in my eyes.

"Guys, you're making this harder for me" I said through my tears.

I heard 'awww's and everyone surrounded me in a group hug.

"Watch the baby!" Andrew yelled. People handed me the roses and Sasha gave me a vase to put them in.

"Thank you guys so much. I love all of you so deeply, and tonight is more bitter than sweet to perform with you all one last time"

"Relax have a drink with me" Ephraim yelled from the back of the group making everyone laugh. Chris playfully rolled his eyes.

"Just because you're leaving doesn't mean you have to stay away." Ari said with a smile.

I returned the smile, "yeah, you're totally right. I'll make sure of that... now let's get ready we have a show to run people!" I shouted and everyone cheered. People hugged me or patted me on the shoulder as they walked out of the dressing room. When the room cleared, there stood Ari holding a lily.

"You know, we've had final curtain calls before and sung happy trails plenty of times but none of those times hurt more than this time." She started to approach me.

"I know right" I said jokingly and she giggled.

"I thought I would have had more time to build up the courage to say this and I know you're with Daveed and all but..."

My heart started to race as I knew what was going to come next.

".. I always thought you were so beautiful and crazy talented and if there's a possibility that I won't see you for a long time.. or ever again... well... here" she held out the lily and my cheeks burned, I just knew they were red. I accepted the flower and smiled,

"thank you Ari, you're an amazing person and I always loved watching you dance"

She gave me a lingering kiss on my cheek and my heart fluttered. She pulled away and smiled at the floor before glancing up at me.

"Well I'll see you out there" She smiled shyly before walking out. My eyes followed her as she left the dressing room.

"See ya" I said, but not loud enough to where she heard me. Does.. Ari have feelings for me?

Soon after Ari exited, Rafa stepped in the door way with a heart shaped pillow. I smiled and walked over to hug him.
"Hey Raf, thank you!"

"Hey, is baby nugget excited to perform tonight?" He said poking my tummy. I giggled, "I'm sure they are, but they probably also feel my pain because it hurts to leave this so soon"

"Yeah, but they'll be more memories with these people and other people you'll meet in other productions, so it's okay."

"Yeah" I said smiling while looking at my plush heart. My mind went back to Ari and I thought about telling Rafa but then he spoke.

"So uhh.. Diggs is here.." Raf said nervously.

I didn't take my eyes off my plush, "okay" I simply said. "Why didn't he come back here?"

"He thought you didn't want to see him"

I shrugged. I looked up at Raf with a warm smile, "well I have to get ready, so I'll see you in the crowd kiddo" I reached up to ruffle his hair and he chuckled.

"See ya Zin" he left and I started to get ready.

"Alright Alright that's what I'm talking about" Anthony said and the audience laughed as I tried to hold mine back. It will never get old. "A toast to the groom" I said and the company echoed. For the first time tonight, I actually looked at the audience. I couldn't see many faces due to the lights shining in my face but I could see the first few rows. And that one particular face sitting in the front row. "REWIND" My heart did something weird, as if it skipped a beat and twisted itself at the same time. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as I started to rap. He wore his hair back in a ponytail today and he had his glasses on. He did that on purpose, he knows I love his ponytail and when he wears his glasses. The song went on and I sung and hit my cues.

"And may you always be satisfied" I sung as I stared at him. A tear fell down my face and then another as the song ended; I did not take my eyes off of him. The crowd cheered as the lights went dark and I walked off stage.

"Wow Zin, you always perform that so well!" Carleigh said lowly as I walked off stage. "If I didn't know you, I'd think you're actually going through what Angelica went through" she laughed. I faked a laugh and walked to my dressing room. I sat in front of the mirror and tried to recollect myself. There was a knock on the door and I turned to see Ari.

"Oh hey" I said trying to not show that I'm upset.

"Hey... are you alright?" She asked stepping in the room.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just really in tune with Angelica tonight." I shrugged

Ari sat in the chair next to me. "Are you sure it's not something bothering you?"

I hesitated to tell Ari the truth but then I turned to her, "don't tell anyone."

She nodded and held my hand. "Me and Daveed... we're not really together anymore. I moved out last week."

She gasped a little as her face read shock and empathy. She quickly glanced at my belly. "The baby is his, I didn't cheat on him.... he cheated on me.."

"What?!" She said a little too loud and I grabbed her arm to quiet her down, "sorry..." she said in a loud whisper, "but what? Why? What the fuck?"

I sighed, "it's a lot that I don't want to talk about but it involves his ex who I may have fought in his front yard." I waved off that statement and Ari covered her mouth with her hands and laughed. She grabbed my hands and leaned in, "you go girl" she said cheesing and we started giggling and laughing together.

During curtain call, we did our bows and the crowd was standing on their feet cheering. The cast stepped back and Oak nudged me forward a little. The crowd roared as I waved and bowed. I turned and blew kisses at the cast and to Alex. I turned to the side and rubbed my belly and the audience cheered even louder. I was smiling from ear to ear when I looked down and saw Daveed holding up a bouquet of flowers to me. My breath almost escaped me but I caught myself.  I smiled softly as I squatted down to grabbed the bouquet. I thanked him before I stood up and took one last bow and walked off stage with the cast.