𝙲𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚜 || 𝙹𝚒𝚑𝚊𝚗

Chapter 38

   Joshua stared at the ceiling with a blank expression. A month had passed since the incident and he hadn't talked to Jeonghan since then.

   However, there only laid a question on his head: why couldn't he forget him? As much as he wanted to, it was almost impossible for him to do so. Day and night, Jeonghan was the only thing in his head. His face features, his voice, and his touch, Joshua couldn't help but long for all of them.

   (Did I make the right decision?) He thought. (Is this the right thing?)

   "If you're going to look like that all day then why did you invite me over?" He heard Vernon nag as he entered the room with some chips and two bottles of soda. 

   Joshua chuckled. "Sorry, I'm just..really stressed for some reason"

   "It's about Jeonghan, isn't it?"

   The older gave him a sad smile. "Yeah.."

   Vernon sighed. "What's bothering you? Have you finally accepted your actions or are you regretting them?" He hesitated. "Don't tell me you've fallen for him?"

   "Yeah" Vernon widened his eyes. "I have"

   "You're kidding"

   "I'm not" Joshua said with a chuckle. "This time, the feeling that I have in my chest is not superficial. It's not something that I forced myself to feel" He placed a hand over his chest. "This time, my feelings are real"

   "I can't believe it.." Vernon frowned. "You do know he wanted to hurt you, right?!"

   "But he didn't" Joshua looked at him. "Jeonghan didn't"

   At this, the other looked away, unable to face Joshua who was staring at him with such sincere eyes. (Since when did he became this honest?) Vernon asked himself as he occasionally glaced over to the noirette.

   "So what are you planning to do?" He said bitterly. "Since you never listen to anything I have to say"

   However, after those words left his mouth, two arms pulled him over into a hug. Vernon yelped at the warm sensation but soon got used to the touch. It was welcoming and filled with love, how could he pull away?

   "I know it's not the best decision to make" The older started. "I know how worried you are about this. Heck, even I'm worried. This feelings are foreign to me, a sensation I'm not used to. They're not superficial nor something I made myself believe. So why should I let such a beautiful feeling go away? Right?" Joshua gently pulled him away and wiped a tear on the younger's cheek. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want you to suffer because of me. In fact, I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. So let's just let fate decide this time, ok?"

   Vernon looked at him. "How are you so sure everything will turn out well? How are you so sure he's the right person for you?"

   Joshua smiled. "Because I'm not alone anymore" At this, the other widened his eyes. "Even though my mom isn't here, even though I'm in an unknown country, I'm not alone. I have Chan and Seungkwan right beside me. My uncle and aunt protecting me from the daggers thrown at my back"

   He smiled. "And I have you. I've always had. But I was too blind to notice that in the past" Vernon felt tears run down his cheek. "I know we've already cleared everything up, but I can't help but feel this feeling of guilt reside over me. So Vernon, for not doing that back then, for not noticing I was not completely alone and that I had you by my side.."

   "I'm sorry"

   Vernon sighed. "I can't believe you've grown this much since then"

   "I should be the one saying that" Joshua chucked. "But I assure you Vernon, I'll always be here for you"

   "Just like how you were for me"