MHA Reacts to the Multiverse

Locker Room Talk

"Alright, this one is gonna be interesting," J said.

"Y'know, I'm pretty sure you say that about every universe you show us," Aizawa replied.

"And I'm not wrong, am I?"

The boys of Class 1-A were in the locker room, getting changed.

"Ooh, I like this one already," Ashido said, grinning salaciously.

"Excuse me, my eyes are up here," Midoriya replied, pointing at his eyes as he glared at Ashido.

Kaminari closed his locker and looked around. "Any of you notice that we don't really talk when we're in the locker room?" he asked.

"I hate to say it, but he has a point," Mineta added. "Maybe I've just gotten too used to being surrounded by my classmates at all times, but the silence in here is pretty awkward."

"So, what, you just wanna dedicate, like, 10 minutes to raunchy locker room talk?" Kirishima asked.

"Excuse me, but 'raunchy locker room talk' is unbefitting of a U.A. student," Iida butted in.

"My sentiments exactly," Iida said.

"C'mon, Iida, you've never once thought about bragging about the size of your penis?" Mineta asked.

"No, have you?!" Iida asked, taken aback by Mineta's words.

"Of course not," the shorter boy responded. "I know when I'm in a situation where I can't win."

"Mineta, I can't see anything, move your hairballs outta the way," Ashido said from the other end of the peephole.

"That's it, I'm filling that hole with cement as soon as we get back to the school," Aizawa said.

"What the hell?" Mineta muttered as he turned around.

"Have you guys started getting naked yet?" Ashido asked.

Mineta responded by jamming his finger into the hole.

"Ow, my eye!" Ashido exclaimed as Mineta pulled his finger out and walked away. "Double standards, much?!"

"Oh, the irony!" Jirou exclaimed.

"Point is, we're teenagers!" Mineta exclaimed. "Raunchy locker room talk is the quintessential high school experience."

"I mean, Mineta has a point," Midoriya said.

"Et tu, Midoriya?" Iida asked, glaring at his friend.

"I'm just saying, it could give us all a chance to bond," the greenette responded.

"I'm listening," Ashido said, to which Mineta picked up a hand towel and jammed it into the peephole.

"What does 'raunchy locker room talk' even consist of?" Todoroki asked.

"Do I even want to know?" Inko asked.

"Usually, it's just a bunch of dudes bragging about the size of their cocks to assert superiority over their classmates," Kaminari answered.

"Not that you would know anything about that," Mineta retorted, grinning.

"Excuse me?!" Kaminari exclaimed.

"I saw you trying to do a helicopter the other day, and it looked more like a busted light switch," the shorter boy replied, causing Sero and Kirishima to burst out laughing as Kaminari looked down, his face turning red.

"What the hell's a helicopter?" Inko asked, causing Midoriya to look away.

Mineta decided to answer. "Oh, it's when a guy whips his dick out and --"

"Nevermind, I don't wanna know!"

"W-whatever, man, you're not any better!" Kaminari exclaimed.

"I'm little. I have an excuse."

"Dude, you're not supposed to tell anyone!" Mineta exclaimed.

"Well, if we're supposed to be bragging..." Todoroki said as he began to remove his towel.

"Dude, at least buy me dinner first!" Kaminari exclaimed, causing Todoroki to look at him with a confused expression.

"Woah, woah, woah, you're not actually supposed to remove the towel!" Mineta exclaimed, holding up his hands. "We're just supposed to take your word for it!"

"That seems counterintuitive," the dual-toned boy replied, looking confused.

"Blame systemic homophobia for that one," Midoriya said.

"Besides, I already know how big it is, cuz... y'know..." Mineta raised his hand up to his forehead to clarify his point.

"Nice!" Ashido said.

He looked at Midoriya and pointed at him. "You!"

Midoriya pointed at himself, confused. Mineta lowered his arm and pointed at Midoriya's crotch. "You should be proud, cuz that thing scares me."

"No one asked you to look!" Midoriya exclaimed as Uraraka started blushing.

"Oh please, how could Deku have anything longer than his pinkie?" Bakugou asked.

"Would it make it better or worse if I told you that you're shorter?" Mineta answered with another question.

"That's it!" Bakugou exclaimed, practically foaming with rage as his palms started sparking. He tired running towards Mineta, only to be held back by Midoriya.

Mineta grinned as he started backing away. "Try not to be too jealous, Bakugou." He turned around, only to run face-first into a large censor bar, which poked him in the eye. "Ow, son of a bitch!" His eyes widened when he saw the censor bar, then his eyes drifted up to Kirishima's shit-eating grin.

"Inappro-pro, man!" Kaminari exclaimed.

"Why are you hard right now?!" Mineta asked.

"I'm asserting my superiority," Kirishima replied, still grinning.

"That ain't asserting your superiority, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen," Kaminari said, his eyes fixated on the censor bar.

All of a sudden, everyone turned to Ashido using something to punch a fist-sized hole through the wall.

"Oh, about time!" she exclaimed as she saw Kirishima's erection.

Then, from Ashido's POV, Mineta picked up a nearby shoe and chucked it at her as the screen cut to black.

"That was... awkward," Midoriya said.

"Yeah..." J replied. "By the way, you guys might wanna brace yourselves. The next one's gonna be pretty funny."

TBC