Life As A Motto. Sequel to Bad Things Happen!

Depression!

Warning: as the title states, this will contain anything related to depression. INCLUDING SELF HARM! You have been warned.

There are multiple versions of grief. Some are quiet with nothing left to say. Some result to rage and express their pain through anger. Some sob for a very long time and rely on others to comfort them. Others wish to be alone in their sorrows. That's what Eliza and Laurens were doing.
Eliza didn't know, but Laurens had even gone a step farther. The most dangerous of all the things people do when they are depressed. Self harming. His left arm was covered in cuts. Some a few days old, some fresh. He always wore a long sleeved shirt when he left the bathroom. He didn't want Eliza to know.
John walked out and saw Eliza laying down on the bed watching a romantic comedy.

"I now pronounce you man and wife." The minister on the TV said.

"Ha! Just give it few months. See if he still loves you then!" Eliza yelled at the screen. Trying to make a joke but was only making herself cry.

Laurens just rolled his eyes. She had been doing this for a few days now. It was kinda funny at first, but then it just reminded him of his own pain.
He pulled his sleeve all the way down to make sure his arm wasn't seen. He didn't notice that he got blood on his cast, and red on white? It sorta stands out.

"Laurens what's wrong with your arm?" Eliza asked.

"I was in a car accident." Laurens stated.

"Why is there blood on the outside of your cast?"

Laurens looked down and noticed the red splotches on the white cast. I knew I should've gotten the red one. He thought to himself. "It's nothing."

"I know when you're lying, you are a terrible liar." Eliza replied. "What is that?" She stood up and walked over to him. She looked like a mess. You could tell she just gave up on tending to her hair, and she wore nothing other then tshirts and sweatpants all week.

"I spilled ketchup when I was eating." Laurens fibbed.

Eliza looked him over, he had a blood spot on his sleeve. That's not suspicious at all.

"Oh, ok then." Eliza acted calm. "So it isn't a big deal." She slightly laughed.

Laurens smiled and nodded. Eliza then grabbed his arm. He flinched at the contact. She rolled the sleeve up to reveal the marks on his skin.

"Tell me you didn't do this."

"Eliza..."

"John Laurens! Tell me you didn't hurt yourself!"

John didn't say anything, he just put his head down. "I had never thought of doing something like this before." He began. "Not when my father left, not when I was in foster care, not when my father came back, not when I was bullied, not when I almost died on multiple occasions!" He started to raise his voice. "Not when people thought I was mute! Not when I was kidnapped! Not even when I was in a car accident and thought that me or Peggy could die!" Laurens stopped for a moment. Tears forming in his eyes. "But knowing Peggy doesn't love me? That's something I can't live through. Not without a few battle scars along the way."

Eliza thought for a moment before speaking. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've tried to help you. We can still get you help."

"No! You don't understand. Think about everything Alexander did. Think about how you feel right now!" Laurens snapped.

"Your point!"

"Well at least you still have other people in your life! Alexander is a cheat, Lafayette has been distant from me lately for reasons I don't know. The Washingtons love me, but I feel like they're constantly feeling sorry for me and I don't want that!" Laurens exclaimed. "But I had Peggy. Now I feel like my whole life is gone! So what's the point anymore!!!"

When he finished, his eyes were drenched in tears.

"I mean... look at me! Broken arm, broken ribs! I can't take this anymore! Everything and everyone in this world is trying to make me miserable, well I've had it!!!"

Eliza calmed him down. "John? I know this sucks. Trust me, I do. But you can't just throw away your life because it feels like everyone wants you to." She sat down on one of the beds with him. "Maybe this happened because you and Peggy weren't ment to be soulmates? But since you couldn't see that, she had to be the one to break it up?"

Laurens nodded and licked his lips. Salty, from tears.

"Can I see your arm?"

He rolled up his sleeve and let her see it again. She looked at it in detail this time. It wasn't good. Eliza could tell he was doing this on multiple occasions. Some were fresher than others. She grabbed some bandages she kept in her purse and used her medical experience to wrap his arm.

"Now I have two defective arms." Laurens sighed.

"Yeah, now we just need to give your legs the memo." Eliza tried to lighten the mood. Laurens did chuckle a little bit.

"Why did Peggy kiss Stephen?" Laurens whimpered. "I would have understood if she told me she still had feelings for him. I would be mad, but I would've gotten over it." He wiped his eyes. "But she told me she loved me. Then she kissed him anyway."

"I don't know. Why did Alexander go out with Maria?" Eliza asked. "If it happened when he had amnesia I would have understood. Like you said, I would've been mad, but it would be better then him lying to me all this time. Pretending to love me when he knew he had loved someone else."

"I wouldn't know. I tried to talk to Maria about it but she blew me off." Laurens responded.

"Oh my gosh, Maria! My best friend of all people to steal my husband!" Eliza exclaimed.

"Well, he wasn't your husband at the time." John added.

"Yeah, and he married me knowing that he was with someone else!" Eliza was a mixture of sad and angry. "I'm just glad I have at least one person to talk to."

"Me too." Laurens nodded. "You think your father has killed Alexander yet?"

"Mr. Hamilton wouldn't be so lucky. If my father has found him by now, he would probably be chained up in a basement being tortured." Eliza laughed. "And boy would I pay to see it right now." She mumbled to herself.

"He's still technically my brother you know."

"Sorry. I know you're mad at Peggy, but I wouldn't want your mom or dad trying to kill her. To be fair though, I still am pretty mad at her. I mean... what would our mother think?" Eliza began to get teary eyed again. "She taught us to love and to show kindness. She told us when we fell in love to show that person they were the most important thing in the world. Well, she said until we have children."

"I suppose I'll have to find a new mother for my children." John sighed.

"It will get better. I've been cheated on before. It truly sucks." Eliza started. "I dated a guy when I was fifteen who just wanted me for my father's money."

"Ouch!"

They both talked for the rest of the day, and even into the night. They only stopped when they both ended up falling asleep.