LUCKY |Modern Sugar Daddy AU|

It's All Pretend

Life went on even without Kylo. 

Six weeks ago you truly believed that time would forever stand still. Life is too busy to be derailed by one heartbreak. 

The first week was the hardest. If you weren't sleeping, you were yelling, mostly about him. And if you weren't crying, you were numb. That time seemed like a blur, a mix of anger and consuming anguish. There was once when Ivy had walked around your room, searching for a shirt you had borrowed while you watched her from beneath the covers. There was a small snap and her brows had furrowed when she realized she had accidentally stepped on a pair of sunglasses. She had apologized then, "Shit, sorry, I'll buy you new ones." But she couldn't replace those. Kylo had bought them for you in London. You must have cried for hours on the floor, holding the pieces in your trembling hands. Ivy offered to put them together again with super glue so you let her try, but the ends were crooked and unwearable. 

The next morning you woke up with puffy eyes and stared at those broken sunglasses. You threw them away, and decided that you were allowed to be heartbroken, and hurt, and scared, and completely shattered, but you couldn't stay in bed any longer. 

You found a publisher, a good one too, and the process of getting your book out into the world began. Most of it was fun--writing the blurb summary for the back cover, planning advertisement tactics, picking a cover photo and a font for the title. It was a good distraction. 

That was your main device for getting over him. Distraction. You found it anywhere you could. In fact, your days became so stuffed with activity, that the only moment you got to dwell in your misery was the few minutes before you fell asleep. Those minutes were pure agony. Most nights you stayed awake focused on anything and everything, until your eyes couldn't take it and they closed on their own. Sometimes that saved you from seeing his face in your mind. 

Writing was your busiest distraction. Now that one book was ready to get out into the world, the next one was already rushing out of your fingertips. You tried to focus on the artistic aspect rather than the actual subject of it. 

Next, was working. After all, you were out of a job. So was Ivy. She didn't feel right about seeing Poe anymore even though you assured her again and again that you didn't want her to quit. She did anyway. You felt terrible about it, but at the same time, you felt a little less alone. You went back to a place you actually enjoyed working at: Cloud Nine. The money wasn't perfect, far less than what you ever got from Kylo, but the atmosphere was fun most nights. This was mostly a result of Ivy being there too. The manager that had fired you had apparently fired most of the staff, before realizing the mistake. Now, Cloud Nine was desperate for waitresses, even Ivy. 

Rey and Sophie started visiting more. Most weekends they'd ask you to come over and spend the night, that was, if Ivy wasn't dragging you out to a club. You weren't oblivious to their tactics. It felt a little like being babysat. Someone was always watching you, always making sure you were doing something fun. It was unnecessary though. You were handling yourself surprisingly well. 

You were even making friends with unexpected faces. Gorgeous faces, that at one point you had not liked, but now you found a strange comfort in. 

Abigail.

Your manager had asked you if you knew of anyone else who might be interested in working at Cloud Nine, and the only person you could think of was her. And she accepted the offer. At first, you avoided her. She was a dim reminder of him. But she was nice. Truly nice. She even mentioned the failed threesome once, displaying a genuine feeling of worry about how it ended. So you got coffee occasionally, and invited her to your weekends of booze and dancing. She never seemed to mind when you talked about Kylo. You felt bad constantly venting to Ivy until Abigail became a new source of heartbreak output, and she understood the coldness of the man who had caused it. Sometimes you laughed together at the thought of Kylo discovering your friendship. Deep down you didn't think he would care, but it was fun to pretend.