Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
DAYS EARLIER
chanhee held the strap of his book bag tightly, earbuds jammed into his ear as he leaned against the brick wall by the school gates. No single sign of students were there yet, and he liked it that way. Liked that it was only him, no need to greet or socialize. That's what he hated the most, which is why he always made sure to wake up at 5:00am, get energized, and arrive at school at 7:00 (an hour earlier). He hated how much of a hypocrite he was—telling people as his younger self that they should branch out and talk to others. now he seemed like the loner. The cold chilling breeze brushed his blonde hair back, pale cheeks tinted with red from the cold.
he supposed he was the only one there, only to hear a clatter from behind. he raised an eyebrow before staring off at the young male who had fell down to the concrete flooring. He wanted to help so bad, though the feeling in him pushed him back harder then the wind, because yet, the overthinking side of his thoughts filled his mind. don't chanhee, He could be bad, what if- he quickly shook away the thoughts that only started to raise his anxiety meter even higher. and he hated that feeling.
He curled his fists tight, one open hand playing with the hem of his jacket. he counted in his head, hoping for his nerves to calm down. Why did this happen..it wasn't every time, but it usually occurred. if he was lucky he could manage to say hello to someone. suddenly, the black gates opened with the sounds of a bell, his fist unclenching where he had finally saw the red nail marks dug onto his flesh, some with dried blood. He groaned while rolling his eyes, his vans stomping onto the ground where he made his way to the nurse.
He took a deep sigh before swinging the door open of the nurses office, feet managing to make its way to the medical bed. his eyes hesitantly drew onto the nurse who only looked at him questionably, she was the only one he could trust after all. Once she noticed the younger brushing his thumb on his palm, that's when she got the final hint.
"again chanhee? I thought you were getting better" She looked at him softly rather than with anger as she reached to the top shelf with the first aid kit. she took out cotton cloths and rubbing alcohol along with bandaids, setting her station up.
"I-I thought I was too.." he stuttered before hissing at the burning feeling of the rubbing alcohol, toes curling up with the feeling that only wanted to make him scream in agony. she dabbed the cloth a few times before sealing the wound with a bandaid, hand creasing Chanhee's cheeks who's eyes looked glossier and glossier. That was enough to puncture her in the heart, she knew how much the boy had gotten through.
"do you need a refill on meds?"
"yeah..." he was ashamed. ashamed that he needed some type of pills to keep his life align, to make him not do something he'd regret. She placed the yellow tube jar of pills in a brown paper bag, choi chanhee written with black sharpie before she handed it to him. His hands shakily grab onto the material, a disappointed smile on his face as he left and went to the bathroom. He opened the door slightly before closing it gently. he opened each stall to make sure no one was there, and no one was to his luck. He sighed in relief before gulping down the pill and water, looking at his exhausted face in the mirror.
