Flatmates// Cake & Mashton

Chapter twenty nine

Ashton's pov

It had now been a month since we've all started university, a month of us all being flatmates and best mates, a month since I have developed some hardcore feelings for Michael. We haven't exactly been the same since that night, which was disappointing, it ended perfectly and that is when I realised I wanted Michael, I wanted him so bad, but I couldn't, he had dignity and was straight, whereas I was just the school's whore, who would want to date me right? don't get me wrong, Michael and I are still friends but definitely nowhere near as close as we used to be, something's changed and I don't know what it was, I haven't made my feelings towards him clear, if anything I've been shagging more people, a disgusting amount of people per week, every week, I didn't want him to know I liked him, not yet, maybe never, I had sex with strangers for the same reason I did before but now I also did it to try and forget about my feelings for Michael but it just ended up in me wanting him even more.

Which is what I was currently doing right now, coming back after a day full of stupid meaningless shags, I felt awful, but I couldn't stop, I can't think good about myself in the slightest but at least others would to me, even if it only was while fucking. I sighed and went into the living room and sat down on the sofa, luckily no one else was here for now. I stared at nothing, intoxicated by my thoughts until I heard the sounds of jogging coming into the living room, I didn't bother to turn to see who it was, I could tell, I could sense his presence. "Hey Ash" Michael's beautiful voice rang through the room and sat down beside me "alright?" I said and glanced at him "yeah..y'alright?" he asked back "good..yeah..yeah..good.." "what you been doing today??" he asked with energy and a cheerful tone, I shrugged "not much..you?" I replied, my attitude was off and low but I just didn't have the energy to pretend that I was okay like I usually did "just.. studying.." Michael said, catching onto the awkward atmosphere "ah cool" I replied bluntly, we couldn't even look at each other and it hurt, I don't know why he felt or sensed it too, was it all my fault? was I pushing him away? "are you okay? I've noticed you've got back into the routine of shagging about" he said with concern, his words hurt but I couldn't judge him for it. I felt like 😶 "how have you been noticing that?" I asked "Well, Calum has been hanging out with me a lot because he's unable to go in his room because of the amount of the people "visiting" shall we say. I thought it was all gonna stop" I sighed, I felt bad that for Calum, I tried to not always have sex at the flat but it still happened regardless "yeah well I thought that too." "what? why?" Michael asked confused "don't worry about it yeah?" I really didn't want to talk to him about it, I'd cave in and admit my emotions to him, I know I would. "Ashton." "Michael." "I'm being serious, this needs to stop. You need to stop this." he said firmly "I know." I said bluntly, but I couldn't, it wasn't as easy as that. "Ashton, come on. Talk to me, let's just..do something again tonight, us two" "you sure you want to spend your Friday night with me?" I asked and chuckled slightly "why wouldn't I want to spend it with you? you're my friend" that word hurt, friend, friend, nothing more than a friend, it hurt like a cunt to hear but he couldn't know that "yeah..yeah sure" I caved in and agreed, I suppose it would be nice spending quality time with him again, I just hope my feelings don't get in the way. "I care about you..let me buy you a drink somewhere" "I care about you too..hm.. only if you let me buy the second round" "deal!" Michael said and produced his beautiful giggle.

A few hours later it had reached early evening so we got ready and decided to head out, we were currently sat at a booth at the university bar, taking in turn in buying rounds, we'd had a few drinks by now and it did help take the edge off "how you finding class?" Michael asked, changing the subject from our previous one "it's okay..how you finding it?" I asked back and took a sip of my drink "better than I thought, finished the first essay that's due on Monday" he replied while also taking a sip on his drink, fuck, I had completely forgot about that essay, I really was slacking in class at the moment, my head really wasn't with it at all "oh that essay..um" I mumbled "hey it's okay, we have time. I'll help you this weekend" Michael said and gave me a smile, he was too kind to me, I felt like I didn't deserve it, I sighed "that's sweet Michael but you don't have to do that, I don't want you wasting your weekend away" I said and got two cigarettes from my pocket, passing one to Michael who gave me a thankful smile after I had lit them both, we were a sucker for a social smoking and I admit I had started to do it soberly, I noticed that Michael had started to be doing it as well "I'm not wasting it, if my friend needs help, I'll help" he said and took a drag of the nicotine stick, as did I once I heard that word again, it was true, we were just friends but it didn't stop it from hurting any less."I know what to do with it..I just..I don't know, haven't made time for it I guess" I replied feeling stupid at my lame reasoning "I know you're busy with..girls..but this is important Ashton. Just let me help you please, Sunday okay? just let me help" his comment hurt about the girls but I can't blame him for saying it, I wasn't making it any better for myself "I know I know..only if you are sure" I mumbled "I am sure, I will help" he said and flashed me his gorgeous smile before walking off back to the bar.

A few drinks more drinks later and chainsmoking later, we were still out, and we were having a great time "man I'm so wasted, I just want to party a little!" Michael said as were smoking on another cigarette, the drinks here were strong, especially with the amount we'd always get, we weren't paralytic but we were decently drunk, we still knew what we were doing "this should do the job" I said and passed him another one if the multiple drinks that was on our table, tonight was reminding me of the first time we got drunk together, I hadn't felt that happy in so long. "What do you want to do later?" he asked and took a sip of the drink "well actually I was wondering-" I started to say but got caught off by someone walking up to us "hey guys! fancy seeing you here!" we turned to see who it was, it was Amelia, don't get me wrong, she was a lovely girl but I just wanted to be with Michael alone "oh..hey Amelia, you good?" Michael asked "alright?" I said "I'm great! how are you guys??" she asked while also taking a drag of her cigarette "not bad, just enjoying the start of the weekend" Michael replied as I continued to drink and smoke "well! If you guys wanted to enjoy the weekend off the right way, remember when I said us three should hang out?" she asked with a playful smirk and winked at us, was she hinting at what I was thinking? "I mean sure, why not? you like video games?" Michael asked completely oblivious which resulted in Amelia and I having a 😶 face "I mean..I was thinking more of um, the three of us having a threesome" oh god, I wanted the ground to swallow me up, I felt shy all of a sudden, I've had them before, heck I've had gang bangs before but with Michael it would be different, pft what am I saying? he would never agree "um..wait what? a threesome? when? I don't know if that's a good idea.." Michael said unsurely " um Michael is straight" I clarified "oh! that's fine! you don't have to but it's a lot of fun!" she said and sipped her drink "no it's not that, I've had too much drink to care about that, it's just all very sudden" Michael said with a chuckle and took a drag of his cigarette. He wasn't going to agree was he? surely not? I started to feel extremely nervous at the thought of it "sorry if I caught you off guard! just really in the mood yknow?" Amelia said and giggled "yeah..yeah..I get you.." Michael said looked at me before looking back at her "um..I feel he doesn't want to, he's got his mind on other things" he continued to say "well I'll give you a minute, Ash you have my number, text me if you guys agree and I'll give you my dorm number" Amelia said with a smile and jogged away.

Michael probably used that excuse so he didn't have to, I don't blame him, what straight man would want a threesome with another guy involved? "um.." Michael said and looked back at me "well that was.. sudden" Michael said and chuckled, sipping on his drink "haha..yeah.." I awkwardly responded while also sipping on my drink "um..sorry for the personal question but have you..been with her before?" Michael asked, I couldn't help but low key feel offended but yet again I didn't blame him for asking "yeah..yeah I have" I admitted, I've had sex with her a few times "oh right..well..she probably just meant just you, I doubt she'd want me to come" "I mean..she made it pretty clear she said both of us but I get it if you don't want to" I replied "well..do you want to?" he asked while looking into my eyes "erm..well it's a threesome with a guy, won't you be uncomfortable?" I asked, trying to avoid eye contact "I mean a threesome is a threesome regardless who it is..well..if it was two guys I wouldn't try it. But a guy and a girl..I guess I'd be willing to" it was probably the alcohol making him somewhat up for it, I shouldn't overthink it too much "alright..well you let me know if you want to stop at any time okay?" "I mean.." Michael said and sighed before continuing "I need to be honest. I probably won't try..that.." Michael said, referring to gay sex by the sounds of it, why would his mind immediately go to that? "I meant in general.." I said, I knew we wouldn't of had sex but it still left me feeling disappointed "I know..I know..I just thought I'd mention it, because it's not something I've really done before" "yeah..yeah that's fine" I mumbled, we finished our drinks and cigarettes, I texted Amelia that we would and she gave us the room number straight away, bloody hell she was eager wasn't she?

We made our way to the room and I couldn't help but feel nervous, I never felt nervous for anything sexual but with Michael here, even though we wouldn't be touching each other in the slightest still made me feel different, I didn't know what to expect.

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