Flatmates// Cake & Mashton

Chapter thirty three

Ashton's pov

Well fuck, that was awkward. Don't get me wrong, Calum and Luke kissing is fucking adorable but I wish I didn't walk into that, probably ruined their moment yikes. I stayed in the living room until I heard Luke leave the room and go back into his own room, I wonder if Michael is in there..pft I needed to stop thinking about him so much, but that was easier said than done of course, especially after today. I sighed to myself and walked back into mine and Calum's room, closing the door behind me "um..sorry about that" Calum said shyly "my fault, don't apologise. It's not like you haven't walked in on me" I said with an attempted chuckle that came out weak, I was too caught up in my emotions right now to be cracking jokes but I didn't want Calum to feel bad.

I walked over and sat on my bed, facing Calum who was still sat at the desk, who was keeping his gaze on me "ahah I guess..where you been? what you been up to?" Calum asked "oh.. just with Michael..so are you and Luke official then?" I asked, not only because I was curious but hoping that he wouldn't question further into what Michael and I had been up to "I don't think so..but he said he likes me" Calum said with a smile and a blush covering his cheeks "but you didn't answer my other question, you alright?" Calum asked, his voice tracing with concern, ah fuck "aw that's lovely, I'm happy for you guys. Oh.. just yknow..stuff" I replied lamely, usually I was pretty good at making stuff on the spot, but not this time, I didn't feel fully aware of everything that was going on, probably a mixture of the alcohol and with what happened with Michael earlier, it was a lot to take in "what kind of stuff? studying?" "um..no" "oh..what was it?" Calum continued to question, he wasn't going to let this go, I bit my lip nervously and avoided eye contact while I mumbled "Michael and I made out.." hoping that he wouldn't hear what I said, but to my disadvantage he did "you what? oh I see, how come? I thought he was..you know.." Calum said looking and sounding slightly confused and shocked, I didn't blame him, I would be too. I sighed, being reminded that he was straight, it hurt a lot "I know I know..it just happened" "did you like it? did you like kissing him?" Calum asked, good question, did I like kissing Michael? oh who am I kidding, I loved every second of it "um..so when are you and Luke gonna get together then?" I asked, trying to change the subject "Ashton." he said and gave me a stern look but it quickly changing into a soft empathetic look instead, he wanted me to talk about it yet I'm not sure if I'm ready? what's the point? he only did it because he was drinking right? why else would he? "yes..yes I did" I finally admitted, it was weird saying it out loud "was it like..a quick make out of like..a full on..you know?" "it was full on.." I continued to admit, still unable to look at Calum, I wanted to cry with all these intense emotions "he panicked and left, I felt really bad but he said he left because he loved it but..I don't know" I added "really? well..do you think anything will happen between you two? do you like him or?" Calum asked, his voice soft and gentle while asking me these intense questions "yeah I do..I really fucking do Calum.." I said, admitting out loud for the first time was scary, I felt my eyes start to build up with tears and wanting to mentally slap myself as my voice cracked when I responded "have you ever liked anyone before? like..more than sex wise?" "yeah..once" I said, thinking back to the only relationship I've had, that left me broken and partly was the reason why I am the way I am now "oh right..so you've been in a relationship?"  Calum asked sounding slightly shocked "yeah.. shocking I know, it was years ago. I wasn't always a whore" "bless you..I don't see you as a whore. I mean yes you sleep with a lot of people but you don't objectify them" I sighed and positioned myself so that I was now laying down on the bed, I was both mentally and physically exhausted "yeah true..I don't know Cal, I don't know what to do" I said feeling hopeless "I mean..why don't you just go along with it? if it turns out he likes you..you might end up dating" Calum said positively, the thought slightly amused me, Michael not being straight? imagine "I doubt he likes me..he probably just liked it because it was different.." "oh he likes you..I can tell. He always talks about you" Calum said, I couldn't help but feel nerves and excitement once he had said that but surely not right? "nah..nah I doubt it..does he really talk about me?" I asked curiously "all the time! definitely more than he talks about Luke and he's his roommate" Calum replied with a smile, my phone let off a nofication noise and I glanced at it to see who it was, it was Michael texting me

"Hey.. just know, I want to keep hanging out.  How about we get coffee tomorrow morning? X"

"Sounds great : ) x"

I was relieved Michael still wanted to hang out with me but that didn't stop the nerves from seeing him again, how was I supposed to act normal around him again after this afternoon? I had so many intense emotions swirling around in my head "oh..I didn't know that" I mumbled and put my phone away, giving my full attention back to Calum, finally having the courage to look at him "so what's going on with you and Luke?" "hm..not sure really..it's too soon to say. But I know one thing, I fancy the fuck out of him. But I don't want to get hurt..so we are taking things slow for now" "that's sweet..yeah I get you, Luke is a great guy so I'm sure he'll take care of you, just go at your own pace" Calum smiled at the mention of Luke's name "he's an absolute angel..I just..hope it lasts you know? knowing my inexperienced self he will soon realise I'm not good enough" what? Calum thinking he's not good enough? He's such an amazing person "don't say that Cal, of course you are good enough, you really are a great fucking guy who deserves the best. Don't forget that" I said hoping that it would help him feel better, I truly meant it. Calum gave me a thankful smile "thank you Ashton"  "of course Cal, anytime" I said and returned a smile back "so..I'm sorry you had to see..that" Calum said with a giggle "don't be, I bet it's nice to not be the one walking into the room like that for once" I said and chuckled "I mean, I suppose I'm getting used to it" Calum replied and continued to giggle. I felt bad to be honest, the amount of times he's ended up walking on me having sex was embarrassing to be honest "yeah..sorry about that"  "don't be! you can't help it right? I mean you kinda can..but..it's one of those things I guess" "yeah..I guess" I said, feeling worse about it again "so..with this thing with Michael..do you think you'll be.. seeing anyone else?" Calum asked carefully "I don't know Calum, I don't want to see anyone else but it's not..it's not as simple as that" I admitted, I hadn't opened up to Calum or Luke about my ways for having sex so much yet but I could tell they had some type of idea why "I get what you're saying, but like, why not just touch yourself instead? if you like him.." "mhm..yeah..might work" I mumbled "you never know, if things go well, you might not even need to do that. Michael could end up proper falling for you and in your bed" "pfft..I doubt that but thanks for the idea Cal" I said and let out a weak chuckle "why do you think that?" "why would he? he can do so much more better than me" I replied, which was true, he really could. Calum frowned at my comment "what? why do you think that?" "don't worry about it.. we'll save it for another time" I didn't feel like going into it right now, it was too much. Calum sighed "Ash.." he said gently "Cal it's fine..don't worry" I said which ended up to be a little white lie, he opened his mouth to speak but closed it once there was a knock at our door, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved. "Hello?" Calum said looking at the door "it's me, you guys wanna have a drink with me and Mike?" Luke said from the other side of the door, even hearing Michael's name sent my brain into even more of a frenzy "oh hi.." Calum replied, not sure why he hadn't opened the door mind, Luke chuckled "you gonna open the door or are we gonna talk through the door?" "oh sorry! fuck-shit!" Calum said and jumped up from the chair and opening the door "I'm- I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry Luke..I just..sorry" Calum rambled in his flustered and blushed state, they were too cute together. Luke smiled fondly at him "you are a cutie, cmon let's go. You too Ash! Michael's waiting in the living room" ah fuck, I don't think I could get myself out of this one, Michael has probably already told Luke what's happened, I got up in a sluggish manner and the three of us made our way to the living room, nerves and butterflies building up as we got closer to the living room, which wasn't very far away at all so I had to try and quickly compose myself but that went completely out the window once I saw Michael, I truly was falling for this man.

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