Flatmates// Cake & Mashton

Chapter twenty five

Ashton's pov

Pffft, what a day. I couldn't stop thinking about that weird encounter with Michael this morning at the gym, why was he so flustered? I mean it was only me, I don't know why he seemed to be so embarrassed. After that I had a relaxing shower and finally got on with my uni work, I was already starting to fall behind and we'd only had one lesson, I tried to distract myself afterwards by doing what I always do, having sex with multiple people to try and forget about everything, for some reason it didn't work today, I'd always feel shit eventually afterwards for being trashy but today it was a lot worse, especially when I realised I completely forgot about my session with Tyler, that just made me feel even worse about everything.

I sighed and walked back into the flat, hearing the boys chatter amongst themselves "Ash.." I heard Michael say softly when he saw me, I couldn't help but notice his instant smile when he saw me straight away, it was cute as hell "here he is!" Calum said with a cheer, I gave a smile back to them all and walked over "hey" I replied "whoo! finally! get this down you" Luke said with a grin and passed me a drink, I didn't care what the alcohol was, I'll drink anything after today. I chuckled and took a sip, sitting down next to Michael, hoping he wouldn't mind, no matter how shit any of us seemed to be feeling, we always were able to help each other smile "it's good to see you" Michael said as he looked at me and drank some of his drink "it's good to see you too" I replied with a smile, it was true, it was very fucking good to see him. Calum was drinking what smelt like a Malibu and coke "I found something I like that's alcoholic finally, I don't know what it is about it but I really like it" "you guys ever tried it with coffee? it will change your life" Luke asked us all "no? is it good?" Calum asked "I'm more of a Jack Daniels and coke guy" Michael replied, I personally was too interested in looking at Michael to give a reply, he looked really fucking good, no, he looked fucking hot, he always looks hot but especially tonight, I couldn't take my eyes off him and I felt like I was beginning to stare at him too long so I quickly looked away. I feel like I must be seeing things because I swear I saw him smile slightly after I did that, I felt his gaze keep going back to me when I wasn't looking, I'm not sure why but it was making me have an extreme case of the butterflies, I know I shouldn't be thinking like this towards him, he's straight, I'm just a mate to him but I'm definitely feeling more towards him than just that, Luke and Calum had started having a conversation about something and they were giggling away together, they were getting cuter together by the second "so um..how was um.." I began to say to Michael yet stopped once I realised how shy I sounded, that wasn't like me at all "how was what?" he asked and looked at me confused, probably thinking the same as to why I was being so shy "erm..your erm..day?" for fucks sake, what is wrong with me? get it together Ash "it was good thanks..yours?" he replied slowly "good..yeah good.." I said back in a painfully awkward manner, I could tell this conversation was starting to make him feel awkward and I know it definitely made me feel awkward too, why are we being like this? we never have a problem having a conversation, we get on like a house on fire so why are we like this now? thankfully Michael smiled "glad, did you want anything to eat? we've got some stuff in the freezer? or we could order a Chinese?" he asked while keeping his eyes on me. The mention of food just made me feel worse, eating was the last thing I wanted to do, I hated it with a passion "I'm not really hungry" I mumbled and drank some more of my drink, hoping he would drop it "why not? you haven't eaten all day..and surely you'd need fuel after going to the gym?" fuck, how am I meant to get myself out of this? "Mike I'm fine, just drop it please alright?" I said but it coming out more like snapping back at him unintentionally, Luke and Calum stopped having the conversation they were having and looked over to us with concern "I'm..I'm sorry.." Michael said and looked down feeling guilty "Ashton..you okay mate?" Calum asked with his eyes full of worry, I started to feel myself become very overwhelmed, I'm being expected to give a reply but the question only made me feel worse, like I was going to burst into tears at any second, I couldn't let them see that "yes I'm fine! of course I'm fine! I'm always bloody fine! I'm going to get changed." I said with an outburst but my voice cracking at the end, making it even more evident that I wasn't, all eyes were on me with worry and concern so I quickly got up as soon as I spoke and walked off into my room, I didn't want to talk to them like that, I felt horrible for snapping at them like that, I'm a horrible person "woah woah..what happened there?" I heard Luke ask "hold on guys.." I heard Michael reply softly, sounding upset, fuck, I've hurt him.

I went into my room and closed the door which closed with a slam and let out a heavy sigh, trying to not let the tears fall down my face, I've made a fool out of myself, I've made myself seem suspicious and I snapped at Michael for no good reason at all. I heard a knock on the door "Ashton?" Michael's voice said from the other side of the door, I was debating on opening it, part of me wanted to ignore him or tell him to go away and the other part of me wanted to just stay in his arms. I debated this in my head for a few seconds until I decided the first choice probably would have made me seem like a dick and I wanted Michael's company anyway, I needed it. I sighed and opened the door, I didn't say anything yet, I already felt like I was going to burst into tears from just looking at him "talk to me..I care" he said softly whilst looking into my eyes, doing the unexpected and held onto my hands, it felt so right, I glanced down at our hands now entwined together then looked back at Michael's beautiful face, yes I said beautiful. I felt my eyes starting to tear up again "it's..it's nothing.." I mumbled quietly. Michael embraced my body into his, a loving and safe hug between us "I mean it when I say I care. You can trust me" he said while our bodies were still intact with each other, I couldn't let go, I didn't want to let go "I know..it's just.. hard to..say it out loud yknow?.." I replied, tears threatening to spill any second "take your time. We don't have to talk about it right now, but we need to talk about this eventually okay?" it scared me to hear him say that, I wasn't good at talking about my emotions at all but there was just something about Michael that made it feel so acceptable to, it felt like he really did care and that meant the world to me. I nodded hesitantly "yeah.." I whispered and let go of our embrace, I didn't want him to think I was being too clingy. Before either of us could say anything else, there was a knock at the door, a pretty loud knock, Michael and I both looked confused and slightly concerned, it was verging mid evening, who would be coming at this time? "let me know if you need a minute." Michael said and gave me a reassuring smile before we walked back into the living room with the other boys.

I hope they wouldn't question what just happened, i hope whoever is at the door fucks off, I'm not in the mood for visitors of any sort, I just wanted to try and forget everything for a few hours and enjoy myself with my best friends, one of them being one that I can definitely admit I am having intense feelings for but it kills me that he won't like me back, he can't, he's straight. I just wanted tonight to be relaxing but something in my gut told me that wasn't quite going to happen yet.

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