𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕨𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕒 | 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

Because I Had You [2]

She screamed. She screamed at the top of her lungs, not caring that her neighbours could hear. Let them hear. Let them hear the heartbreak Shawn had put her through. Let them know that she's spent countless nights crying, pouring her heart out in a small notebook, longing for him to come back to her. Let them know that her heart broke every time someone mentioned his name. Let them know that she was so lost and she never forgave herself for taking so long to get over it.

Shawn took it. He didn't say a word as she yelled, hot tears falling down the both of their faces. He knew that this would happen but he had no idea that it would hurt this badly. He deserved the pain in his chest, he had caused this. All of this. He was horrible for letting things get so bad and he was horrible for letting himself become a coward and letting the love of his life go, losing himself in the midst of his career. The only thing keeping him together were the faint memories he shared with her and the countless love songs he created late at night when he was missing her which was admittedly, all the damn time. Some things made him want to crack a smile. Like the hoodie of his she was wearing or his song that played softly behind her choked up madness.

"How could you?" She screamed, wiping her tears away and poking at his chest. He shook his head, hating the way she hated him. "Camila..." his voice was barely above a whisper, "I'm so sorry-" Camila scoffed, "you left me." She began to break down again, her hand scrubbing over her face to wipe off the tears that freely fell. "I was so proud of y-you... when no one else was there to support you, I was there. I was always fucking there." She bit back her tears. "And where were you?" She whispered, sadness in her eyes. Shawn missed the shimmer in her eyes. He missed the way she looked at him with such love and adoration. The passion that burned in her champagne eyes made him fall in love with her over and over again. Now, standing before her, both in their broken states, it was evident that the shimmer was gone. It was replaced with hooded eyes with an unruly broken heart.

Shawn didn't know what to say. What could he say besides explain how he was a coward? What could he possibly say to make things any better? Nothing. He couldn't say anything. "I was selfish." He muttered, ashamed of himself and what he had let himself do. She kept her eyes fixed on him and Shawn felt as if she was mocking him. Here she was, standing before him with tears in her eyes yet still looking as perfect as ever. And as he looked at her, he didn't even want to begin to imagine how stupid he must've looked. How stupid he was to ever let her go and how selfish he's been.
"I didn't think we could handle the long distance and I thought... in the moment, I was doing this to protect your heart." His eyes shifted away from hers as he couldn't bare to look at her broken state any longer, especially not when knowing he had caused that. "Instead, I broke your heart and I was selfish because I was really just trying to make things as easy as possible... I promised you I'd never break your heart and that's exactly what I did." He shook his head, another tear escaping his eyes which he didn't bother to wipe away. "And I'll never forgive myself for that, Mila. Believe me. If I could take it all back-"

"But you can't." She said firmly, crossing her arms across her chest. Shawn sighed, knowing that she was right and that was the reality of all of this. He couldn't take it back. He couldn't undo what he had broken. But what he could do was try to repair it. Fix it as well as he could without ever giving up. "Why are you here?" She asked suddenly, her eyebrows furrowed as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, "what do you want from me?"

"A chance." He whispered softly, slowly moving his eyes back to her beautiful ones. Camila had scoffed and paced back and forth in thought before stopping to meet his eyes once more, "a chance? You think it'll be different now? It's still long distance and clearly you can't handle-"
Shawn grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands towards his chest. His hands were on fire the second he made contact with her skin. "Stop that." He ordered, his heart racing at the close proximity between the two. It's been so long. Too long, since he's held her and kissed her. He's missed her heavily. He cleared his throat as she pried her hands away from his chest and somehow ran her delicate fingers through his hair mindlessly. It felt heavenly but he maintained his composure, "I thought I couldn't handle a long distance relationship. But I was so fucking wrong, Camila." He said breathlessly as he cupped her face, his words dripping with so much passion. "I can't handle not having you. I need you in my life. And I've learned that the hard way. I can't imagine my life without you, Camila. So please, give me a chance to show you that I love you. That I've always loved you." She shut her eyes and listened to what he was saying, what he was asking of her. Her heart knew that it ached painfully without Shawn and it knew that it wanted him so badly. She wanted to forgive him and as much as she hated to admit it, she needed him. He is everything to her.

"Okay." She said, her voice barely able to be heard but Shawn heard. He heard loud and clear and his heart finally felt at ease as he pressed his lips against hers, so desperate yet loving and gentle. She was everything to him and how he could ever think of letting her go was beyond him but he vowed to himself that he'd never let her go ever again. He'd remind her just how much he loves her and because he had her, he didn't need anything or anyone else.

"I love you," he quietly declared against her lips. "And I love you." She said before molding their lips back into a heartwarming kiss.

They had some kinks to knead through but with a love as strong and composed as theirs, they knew they'd make it through.

Authors note:
Sorry for the delay in the updates :( I'm trying to become more active!!

If you haven't already, go check out my shawmila book "Hostage" ❤️❤️

Ily all so so much, thank you for support! You're amazing and I hoped you enjoyed :)

Now, I need to sleep in order to function in class tmr because I fell asleep during a lecture today...