𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕨𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕒 | 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

Youngblood

"Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die,"

"Here's all your things," Camila sniffled, handing over the box of all of his things that he left at her house.

What sucked the most was that even he could barely take it from her. It was almost as if he regretted breaking up with her.

She cried for a long time. The look on his face and the tone of his voice truly broke her. They've been together for years and tour was in the way. "Oh...yeah, thanks." He mumbled, he didn't look at her. Not once.

"God, can you at least look at me?" She threw her arms up, defeated. Although they were technically broken up, he held a special place in her heart that could never be replaced by anything or anyone else.

He glanced at her but all she saw was sadness and it was slowly killing her. "I know you broke up with me but at least look at me as a normal person...not someone you..." she took in a sharp breath, "...someone you broke up with." She whispered the last few words. It truly hurt her to say that out loud.

"Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine,"

"I'm sorry but I can't hurt you anymore, Camila." She scoffed, laughing pathetically as she paced around his porch. She stopped for a moment to look at him - anger in her eyes, "you hurt me by breaking up with me and not trying." A single tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away with the already soaked sleeve of her turtleneck. "Babe-" his eyes widened at his own words, "Camila, do not make this harder than it needs to be." He crossed his arms after throwing the box of his things on the ground.

"Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you're calling me by name,"

His heart was heavy. He didn't want this but even Shawn knew that he was slowly hurting her by not being home but instead halfway across the world on a stage performing. As much as he was breaking, he thought he was doing what was best for Camila.

"You said you'd never break my heart." She whispered, not looking him in the eyes.

His heart shattered even more if that was even possible. Now it was a reality, he truly broke her and that was the last thing he ever wanted for her.

"Takes one to know one, yeah you beat me at my own damn game,"

"Remember when you jokingly said that I would be the heartbreaker?" She peered up at him and he gave her a slow nod, "isn't it funny that it's actually you being the heartbreaker?" Shawn knew that she was sassy and when she was angry or sad, usually the sass was more to handle. "Stop, please." He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to look at her beautifully, broken face.

"I hate myself for loving you and thinking that this could be a forever thing." She croaked.

There was something in those words, a horrifying pain behind it. Her anger was nothing but a shield of pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing grenades, scared for his life.

Shawn took in a slow breath. What if there were no consequences? What if he could take back everything?

Shawn saw the pain in her eyes. Her emotional pain seeped out in her words and it hurt Shawn to hear them, hurts to think about them. Her emotional scars were invisible but so visible to Shawn at the same time. He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't hurting at the fact that he was going to be away for awhile - he should've known. She was hurting because it was almost as if she could sense the breakup happening and that's what pained Shawn the most - it's what made his heart ache.

"You push and you push and I'm pulling away, pulling away from you,"

Looking at her, right now made him think how much of a stupid idea it was. Instead of benefiting her, he instead broke her. He broke her enough for her to say that she hated herself for loving him.

"Don't say that. This hurts a lot. I want a forever with you. I love you but-" it was as if he was begging for her to stay but leave at the same time. "Stop, you don't get to say you love me." Her words were cold but Shawn understood that this was her way of hiding her sadness. "Let me tell you that I love you. Let me say - let me say what I mean and how I feel." He begged, attempting to get a grip on her hand but she jerked it away.

As much as she wanted to hold him - as much as she wanted him to embrace her, she couldn't let it happen. They weren't together anymore.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have broken up with me." She spat, turning on her heel. She sadly, walked to her car - not giving Shawn another look.

She wanted to believe that she'd get over him and she'd find someone else but she knew it was almost impossible.

As bad as it sounds, she was now glad he was going to be halfway across the world - that way, she wouldn't have to see him in person and remember the pain even more than she already had.

She listened to the muffled yells of her name from him but she knew that if she turned back around and inched closer to him, she would never be able to let go.

"I give and I give and I give and you take, give and you take,"

Shawn knew that he had just caused her heartbreak.

Everything hurt him and there was nothing he could do to fix what he had just done. This truly was the worst thing he had ever done.

The second he walked away from her, he knew that he lost her and what hurt even more was that it was his doing. It was nothing but his fault.

He sat in his dark living room that was littered with clothing that he was going to take with him to tour. He's been crying for a long time but he couldn't help it.

He swiped his thumb over her face that was on the screen of his phone. She looked happy next to him and Shawn couldn't see that before.

Something caught his eye though, her sweater that he knew she loved was left on his couch.

He knew he had to return it.

A/n
I'm literally so sorry.

I don't know what else to say...