Still with you

Chapter 9 : Young forever.

Jungkook's story : Still with you.

Chapter 9: Young forever.

When we are back in Korea, it's my birthday, my 17th birthday. Our agency gave us a few days off after our gruelling American experience. I can't wait to get home to Busan. I need to rest, play with my brother and dog, kiss my parents and eat mom's good food.

But, nothing is going as I had planned. I don't know if I'm annoyed or happy. One thing is certain : I'm still bubbling with emotions. It seems that I cannot rest to try to order the whirlwind in my mind.

The manager told me that he preferred me to stay in Seoul for my birthday. I could cry about it, but I clench my teeth. What can I say ? On D-Day, Nam Joon and Tae take me bowling. I feel like something is coming up because the others don't come with us. Everyone's a pretext for something urgent to do. So, I go with Nam Joon and Tae. They look very happy, keep talking. Okay for me, because I have nothing to say. So am I. I have no personality.

We spend a few hours playing bowling games, arcade games... Finally, I get excited, because I like to play and... mostly win. But I try to stay calm because I don't want to be rude to my friends. I am grateful to them for taking care of me for my birthday.

Finally, It's time to go back to the dorm. My two buddies seem super excited. Nam Joon keeps playing the fool in the car, he calls someone, just to say, "We're coming." Tae smiles at me, while playing eyebrows. Ok, they prepared me a surprise. I don't know if I want it, but I can't cut it, can I ?

Tae rushes up the stairs to open the door first. He goes through his head and turns to me.

-Close your eyes, he says nicely.

Ok. Here we are. I close my eyes. I can feel him blindfolding me with his scarf. I'm overwhelmed by its smell. I feel weak.

-You can move on, says Nam Joon, pressing his hand on my back.

So I go ahead. I can hear someone rustling, little muffled laughter, the sound of crockery, someone takes a deep breath. I also hear a hiccup. There's many people in our house. How am I going to deal with this ? I feel like I'm sinking in water. I need to rest, to stay quiet, on my own. I need time to grow up. Why doesn't anyone notice ? Maybe it's my fault ? I talk less and less, but I try to stay friendly and smiling for the group.

-Happy Birthday Kookie !! sing my brothers, while Hoseok takes off the headscarf.

It's like in a movie, of which I'm spectator and not the main actor. In front of me, my mother. She cries, her arms outstretched towards me. I'm on my way to her. Voices disappear from our little living room. I take my mother by the waist and squeeze her against me. She keeps kissing me, hair, forehead, eyes, temples. My father joins our embrace. He's ruffling my hair. I see his lips moving but I can't hear what he's saying. I feel like I'm underwater. When my parents let me go, my brother jumps into my arms. My older brother. I'm so glad to see him. He makes me laugh.

All of a sudden, sounds come back ! My friends are yelling, hugging me in turn. My head is spinning. I still haven't said any word.

Jin claps his hands and invite everyone to sit on the floor around our little table. I notice then that our living room is fully decorated, for me. Balloons, garlands in my name, pictures on the walls. Hoseok and Jimin did it. I can't believe it. Since Jimin joined our team, we've been celebrating birthdays. It's tradition, he said. His father always sends him a beautiful bouquet to celebrate his own. For the meal, we have to tighten up. I sit between my parents. Jimin's in front of me. He doesn't take his eyes off me, but I can't support his gaze. I'm getting too emotional. My eyes are burning. I don't want him to see me so weak.