Still with you

Chapter 30 : Boys in love

Jungkook's story : Still with you.

Chapter 30 : Boys in Love.

-Ok ok ok, so let's all calm down okay ?

It is Hoseok who speaks, as often when our leader is a little overwhelmed. He continues :

-I don't know how we, or you, will deal with it, but you must not forget that if you leave, the group will not survive. This will be the end of BTS. After all the sacrifices we've all done to make it happen ! We are finally successful and you want to screw it up ?? I think it's time for you to speak to each other. I do not think a group discussion is the solution, this time. But your decision will have consequences for the seven of us, that's for sure.

-We're not going to disband, are we ? Tae's voice trembles, he looks at us all in turn. No one seems to be able to answer him.

-Hoseok is right. We'll respect your choice, but not until you really discuss it, you, Nam Joon with Jin and, you, Jungkook, with Jimin.

Tae bursts into tears. My stomach hurts more and more. We should enjoy this night together, have a good time, but it's a nightmare. I know I have to do something, but my belly hurts too much. I have not been able to say a word yet. I look at Jimin, keeping his head down. He wants to leave. He wants to leave because of me. He's in pain because of me. Because of me !! I-can't-believe-it !!! We are so close together, best friends, we support each other, we need each other.

Jin gets up and leaves the kitchen, HIS kitchen. Nam Joon gets up, knocking down his chair and follows him. I can hear my heart banging in my chest, waking me up. I jump up, take Jimin's hand and drag him behind me, to my room. I close the door and let myself slide on the floor, as if to prevent him from escaping. He stays up.

-You don't say anything, he just says.

-Jimin, I don't want you to leave...

-Did you hear what I said ? I can't go on like this !

-I... I don't understand, Jimin. Talk to me...

-I just said it. I love you. You don't love me. It hurts too much.

-But Jimin, I need you !

-Not the way I need you ! You consider me your friend, but I love you. I've been in love with since since I met you, years ago. Do you understand what I'm saying ?!

-But why didn't you tell me earlier ?

-How many times have I told you that I love you, Jungkook ?

-But... but I love you too...

-How many did you tell me ? You're not in love with me. You have a girlfriend. You're straight. It's hopeless.

-You should have told me more...more directly. Tae says he loves us too, and so does Jin ! How could I know that for you it meant more ?

-Jungkook, you were barely fifteen years old ! How did you want me to tell you that I was in love with you ? You would have made fun at me !

-No !

-Stop !

-... I fell in love with you as soon as I saw you... But I didn't understand the difference with the feelings I have for our brothers. It was not easy for me, you know ? I knew nothing about love. How could I understand ? I don't know if I'm straight or bi ! For God's sake, I have no experience !

-This is the first time you tell yours deep feelings... Too bad it's too late...

-I admit that I don't know how to talk about how I feel ! I never knew ! But I don't want you to go... I love you too Jimin.