Can You Hear Your Heart

Chapter Four

I wake up to the smell of bacon. I love bacon, but for some reason it gives me a bigger reason to throw up today. So the moment my eyes open, I jump off my bed as I land on the toilet just in time. Today it was worse with more puke. Ew.

I moan at the uneasiness in my stomach and cover my nose as I walk into the kitchen. I see Indina sitting at the counter of the kitchen and Anna happily cooking the source of my nausea.

"Can you please not cook bacon ever again," I say with disgust.

Anna does a surprised look and then looks back at the pan. "But I made them just for you. I just thought you would be hungry since you're eating for two...."

Indina shakes her head at Anna without looking up from her magazine and says, "If it makes her feel bad, then don't do it, Anna.

"No," I say as I cover my nose. "It makes it worse."

"Oh come on," Anna says as she grabs the pan handle and moves it towards me. "Once you see it, you will droo--" The moment she opens the lid of the pan, I run back to the bathroom with throw up at my throat. I can tell that today I'm going to be in a bad mood.

Unfortunately, my bad mood didn't help me get near Shaun at all. He tried talking to me today, but I avoided him. He quietly stayed back and let me be for the rest of the week.

On Friday, I wake up with a new determination within me. Today I am nine weeks and I can't let it pass more days. I have to tell him today!

Yet, I can't seem to get out of bed. My mind is ready, but my body is exhausted as I've just gone out to a marathon. Anna has learned the lesson about my nausea and she doesn't do my breakfast until I tell her that I'm up for a few crackers and cheese.

Indina is the one to poke her head in my room. "Hey," she whispers. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I groan. "A few more minutes please." I don't hear her response as my eyes shut and a deep sleep comes.

Once again, I skip my first class and make my way to the library. I'm still very tired despite of the hour I took in sleeping in. I do a small yawn and sit at one of the back tables of the library. I take out a few assignments and lay my head on them. Sleep immediately creeps in the moment I lay my head on my arm.

"Vivca?" I slowly lift up my head and rub my eyes to see Shaun giving me a concerned look. "Hey, Frost Girl. Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. I'm just really tired...." I take a breath and recover my posture as I stretch my arms. Shaun watches me quietly and worry runs through his eyes. My senses come back and I realize my mission for today.

I'm wide awake now as he sits in front of me and studies me. "Vivica. I don't know what's going on, but...I wish you could tell me what's going on."

I bite my lips and look down. My mind wondering how to start this conversation. God. I don't want to lose him....

A small pang of hunger starts in my stomach and I take this advantage to stay quiet. I take out a small trail mix I saved in my bag and start munching on it. Shaun sighs and says, "I just hope you're not into anything--"

"Don't worry," I interrupt with a smile. "I'm not hiding from the cops or doing anything illegal."

Shaun gently chuckles at my joke. "Although you would find a way to ice them all up."

"Yeah," I say with a laugh. Then we're silent. I definitively have to do something before our relationship actually starts messing up. I do a small sigh and say, "Do you have anything to do after your last class?"