Can You Hear Your Heart

Chapter Twenty Three

I walk in my academic advisor's office with a breath of strength. I hadn't told him about my pregnancy and I should have. Now I can't keep my eyes open and I don't fit anywhere anymore.

I called Shaun to let him know that I'll be getting to his place late. I made sure to eat a small meal at the cafe and now I find myself walking though the cold hallways of the offices. I stop in front of his door and lightly knock on it. He doesn't respond and nerves start up in my veins. A kick on my side makes me smile and strength comes back to me. "I got this. I can do this," I say to her as I lay a hand on my twitching belly.

At last, he opens the door and surprise runs through his expression at my large belly. I give him a small smile and say, "Hello. I wanted to talk to you about next semester."

"I can see that," he says in a tone that stabs my heart. I clear my throat and set aside my anger as I enter his office.

"Water?" he says as he points at a small filter and I kindly shake my head.

"No thank you. I'm fine."

He sits at his large desk and looks at me sit on the other side of it. I give him a tired smile and his eyes keep stealing glances at my belly. I lay a protective hand on my belly as his stares and clear my throat. "You see. I was wondering if I could take the Gifted Exam so I could graduate early."

He does a scoff and anger makes my blood boil. "Do you want to take it now? You take that around April or February."

"But I can't. I would have already given birth and I need to stay with my baby."

"Yes. But what do you want me to do? I can't offer it to you now. Plus. Your scholarship won't allow me to do that."

I furrow my eyebrows at him angrily. "Why?!"

"Because you're in a program that requires hours and a good GPA status. Trust me. You have an excellent GPA, but I'm afraid the hours will ruin it for you."

Ruin it for me?!

I turn my hands into fists and say, "If my GPA is excellent, then my credits should be good. I should qualify for that exam!"

"Vivica. You need to understand that there are some decisions that have consequences. This is your consequence." His eyes land on my belly and then looks at me.

These words stab at me. I do a slight gasp and realize how these words have a truth in them. But a wave of emotions overwhelms me. I want to cry. I want to punch him, but I sadly give him a nod. He does a small sigh and says, "I'm sorry, Vivica. You can't just graduate early. But if you want, we can start looking into how long we can put you on a maternal hold."

I quietly watch him click on his computer and my shoulders fall in defeat. My heart turns heavy as he says, "How about coming back in five months?"

I furrow my eyebrows at this. "I don't plan to come back. That's why I wanted to graduate early."

"But, Vivica," he says with a chuckle. "You can't. You have to come back to keep your scholarship."

"So if I don't come back, I lose everything I worked for in the past two years?!" My heart falls lower with sadness and my muscles tense with anger. I can't believe this is happening to me.

My academic advisor gives me a sad expression and I angrily say, "Then how many months do I have to come back? I want the latest time because I can't just leave my baby after she's born."

"Mm. You have six months of hold. Other than that, if you don't come back before that time, the scholarship will be taken away from you and you will have to recover that missed time. Without the scholarship, of course."