Can You Hear Your Heart

Chapter Twelve

We're in mid-October now and I've finally got myself a few extra outfits for the winter. Last week was crazy due to that refugee mission. The facility now has people wandering around with awe at all of it. I've seen this all too many times and I've helped out newbies all too many times to get to the restroom.

Shaun has been ignoring Kitty. Well, his attention now is on my belly most of the time since I told him that I've felt small wiggles and butterfly feelings. He keeps putting his hand on my belly every so often and asking the same question, "Is she kicking?"

"No. It's swimming and you probably don't feel it," I always respond back.

Today, I stop by the cafe as hunger greets me before class. I wait in line for a sandwich and salad. For some reason, I feel tired today. Though, I know that this class will be relaxing. It's my easiest class and Shaun's there. So if I miss something, he can pass on the notes to me. I put in my order and take a seat by one of the benches.

Once again, my eyes land on my sister with that blonde young man for the third time this week. Something's definitely up with them. I'm still confused to why she hasn't told me already. She always trusts me with secrets more than with Indina. What are you hiding, Anna?

My gaze is ripped away from my sister as my order is called and I happily take my tray. Despite of my exhaustion, I start eating and looking around the place. I wonder if the baby is even awake. I haven't felt her little slurs for a few days now. Is that normal for month five?

As I make my way to class with a full stomach now, I suddenly feel a movement in my belly. But this isn't a slur or a butterfly anymore. It's stronger. More coordinated.

I stop in my steps and put my hand on the spot I felt this quick movement. A gasp escapes my lips when the feeling of a light kick surprises my hand. A smile starts at my lips at this new movement and tears threaten to fall, and I lean on happiness this time as she kicks again. And my hand can actually feel it!

Wait! If my hand can feel it, then someone else can feel it, too! Shaun!

My feet quickly make their way towards my lecture room as the small kicks continue. My heart soars higher than the clouds as Shaun smiles at my arrival from afar and points at the seat next to him.

The smile does not leave my face and Shaun is left in surprise as I take a happy seat. "Hey there. What's on your mind today that has got your beautiful smile on?"

"Shaun!" I say excitedly but low enough so the students around us don't hear. "The baby is kicking!"

"Awh nice!" Shaun says without moving a muscle and smiling.

"No! But you can feel it now!"

"Wait. Really?" This time he turns in his seat and lays a gentle hand on my womb. "Where?"

"Here." I move his hand towards the side of my belly as she moves to that side. He stays silent and his face in concentrated as he waits to feel the baby. She's still kicking. Why is he not reacting?

Shaun then looks up and says, "I...don't feel it, love."

I sigh in frustration as I feel her movements stop. "I swear. It was there. I felt it with my hand!" I click my tongue in frustration as I put my hand to where Shaun still has his hand. He keeps it there, but his smile tells me that he is not convinced.

Come one, little lady.

Shaun sees my disappointment and he lays a kiss on my cheek with tender. "I can't wait to fee--" Then he stops talking and his eyes grow wide at the light kick strong enough for him to feel. "Oh my god!" His eyes shine and his smile grows wide like mine.

"Did you feel it?!"

"Yes! Yes I did!" My heart jumps with joy at the love his eyes shine towards my belly. Awe shines in his expression as he feels another light kick on that side.

Then she moves around as if she knows that we're paying our full attention to her. A small kick goes towards the top of my belly and Shaun frowns. "Hey. I don't feel it anymore. Why did she stop?"

"No! Here!" I move his hand to where she's kicking now and he smiles widely. We quietly admire our little girl as she does so many kicks in there. We do our laughs and giggles as she does several odd flips in there, but the fact that she's responding to our touch is enough.

The professor walks in and the class starts. We both sit straighter in our seats in disappointment to the end of our beautiful show. But that smile does not leave my face as she moves the whole lecture.

I imagine she must be tired after all that kicking she did by the end of class. She's silent inside of me but our hearts dance with joy as I hold Shaun's hand as we walk to where I parked my car.

"Is she kicking now?" Shaun says with a tone as if he were an excited child.

I laugh at this and shake my head. "No. Right now she's actually really still. But I'm sure she'll wake up to give me more of her show." I put a loving hand on my belly and Shaun puts his just next to mine.

"Well. Call me when she does so I can drive out of work and feel it."

I laugh at his joke and playfully say, "Okay!" A small growl from my stomach reminds me that I should get to my place now.

So I tip toe to give Shaun a kiss on his lips and say, "I'll see you later, love. You're going to work or the facility?"

"I have to go for an hour to the facility for training and then I have work afterwards." He leans on his car and smiles at me.

My heart suddenly does a pang of uncertainty. He hasn't mentioned Kitty at all, but she must be there all the time until she gets a place of her own outside.

Shaun immediately notices my uncertainty. Before he was my boyfriend or the father of this baby girl, he was my best friend first. So he knows that I prefer not to bring up that subject and kisses my forehead instead. "I love you. Text me once you're home."

"Yes sir," I say with a small salute. He does a small laugh and this seems to wake up the baby as a small kick starts on my side. I turn to tell Shaun but he is in his car already, and gives me a wave through the mirror.

I return his wave and walk into my car. The thought of Kitty still nags at me. I keep telling myself to stop, but what if something does happen? Would her arrival change our relationship? It can't. Can it?

This uneasiness is drowned out by a low growl in my stomach and the small kick in my belly. So I keep my focus on that kick and getting home.

By the time my sisters get home, I show off my little girl's twirls and I have to say that they must've had their hands stuck on my belly for a whole hour. I didn't mind. The child kicked and turned for them as if she knew that they were into jumpy personalities. Especially with Anna.

I thought she would be tired after that hour of show but from the moment I entered the shower to now as I lay in bed, she has not stopped moving. I chuckle as I pull the covers over my cold body and lay to my side. I've found it difficult to find a position to sleep since I used to sleep on my stomach. Now it's been a little impossible to sleep like that, so I've made amends with sleeping on my side.

Yet as I put a hand on my belly and look out the small window in my room, my mind is occupied just as much as this baby is occupied in doing somersaults inside of me. I shiver at the thought of the plan I have to do if Kitty does end up—

No. No. Don't think of that. It won't happen. It can't. He said that he would be by my side all the way. No backing down, right?

That uneasiness keeps haunting me and I have an urge to hear Shaun's voice, but I don't pick up the phone. I just lay there instead. Looking out at the stars and drifting off into a deep sleep with the light kicks of my baby.