Can You Hear Your Heart

Chapter Thirty Two

I have adapted to the small waddle because of my large belly. She still kicks and jabs up a storm in there, but I've seen that her growth is slower. I'm almost there. Any moment now I will be holding her and my heart is anxious for that.

Another thing I've been anxious about is that exam. Kitty came in the apartment one night. Shaun and I were actually preparing the baby's bag for her arrival until we hear frantic knocks. Shaun carefully opened it and Kitty entered with an excited step. She smiled at me and said, "You better get studying Mama because you have an exam to take in a week!"

At the moment I was excited, but now I am panicking. I mean....the Gifted Exam means that you know everything. I mean....it's an exam Kitty should be taking instead of me. I still don't understand why she's still going to school!

But Shaun and I have made a way of going along the day while studying. First I made a few note cards on what I believe would be on the exam. I memorized them in these two weeks and Shaun also happened to have memorized them. On nights I couldn't find sleep, he would scoot near me to rub my belly affectionately and ask several questions from the note cards. I would answer them until I fell asleep. Then among the day, whenever he'd come in from work or school, I'd receive him with food and he'd ask me a question from the note cards.

It's been like this for the past two weeks. But there's nights where I'd wake up and he'd stay asleep. He's been working extra hours for our baby and our future plans. I wish I can help him out, but he prefers I stay in here.

Yet, my exam isn't the only thing keeping me up all night. Nerves have started within me for the day I have to give birth. I've heard stories of women that die on that day. Doctor Aaron has asked me what kind of birth I want to do. I just shrugged my shoulders. I just went with the normal way, I suppose.

But now that I think of it more and more, I'm scared. Anything can happen. It's just like the facility and missions. Anything can go wrong....

One night, I woke up to her jabs and this came up to my mind. I laid on my side and felt Shaun move towards me. "Can't sleep? This young lady up tonight?" I felt his hand hug my stomach and I smiled.

"Yes. But it's not that what I'm worried about...."

I didn't have to turn to know that he was furrowing his eyebrows. "What is it?" He laid a kiss on my shoulder as I said, "I'm....scared."

"Of what, love?"

"Of giving birth....I feel like I'm not going to be strong enough..."

"No. No. Don't say that. You're going to be okay."

I shivered and gently moved so I could lay my head on his chest. He warmly wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I said, "I'm still scared. What if something goes wrong? What if I screw this up, too?!"

"Hey. Look at me." I looked up at him and saw those shining blue eyes filled with determination. "You are going to be okay, you know why?" I shook my head and he said, "Because you are the strongest woman I have ever known. You never give up even though you may be screwing it up. I know who you are and I know who I'm marrying. I have no doubt that you will be okay on that day."

I let those words sink in. Well. At least he admitted that I do screw up. Which I do more times than doing things right. I let a smile creep on my lips and whispered, "Okay. But...you're going to be by my side on that day, right?"

"Of course. Even though I'm afraid, but I will be there."

"What are you so afraid of?" I said with furrowed brow.

"I'm afraid....I'm not afraid. I'm nervous...."

"Oh come one, Mister Drake," I said teasingly. "You have to be the strong one there!"

I could hear the way he chuckled at the way I called him. Ever since my mother has been around, Shaun decided to change his name to Bobby Drake for my sake. I remember seeing that name when I went to get the mail and furrowed my brow at him as he studied the Bible in the living room. "Bobby Drake?!"

He looked up at me and shrugged. "I didn't think of anything else." He watched my surprised smile turn into a smirk and from that moment, he knew I wouldn't let any day pass by without teasing him about that name like I did on that night.

Shaun sighed and said, "I only did that for your sake. Plus. I think she likes that name more than Shaun." I felt his hand reach for my belly and surely enough, she was wide awake and very active.

I put a hand on his, and quietly felt her strong kicks under our hands. "I hope this little one cooperates on that day. I'm nervous."

"She's smart," Shaun said as he laid a kiss on my head. "I think you two will make a great team."

"And I think you two will make a great little rascal team!"

When I said this, she made my belly shake with excitement and Shaun laughed at this. "We can't wait, mommy! We can't wait!"

That night was one of the many nights I woke up with nerves but today, there's a new type of nerves as I step out of the car with Kitty. She offered to drop me off at our college to take the exam so I don't have to drive.

I closed my door behind me and looked up at the large building. My heart sent nerves all over my body and I let out a sigh. I can hear Kitty come over by my side to lean on the car with me. "Nervous?"

"A little," I say to her.

I look over at her and see that she shrugs. "You will be fine. Shaun told me you have been studying hard for the first time in your life so.....that should count." I give her a playful slap on her arm as she gives me a smirk.

"Do you think this was the right choice?"

Kitty stays silent as she takes off her sunglasses. "Well. Whether it is or not, let's do it."

I look over at her and smile. "You've always been the smart one, Kitts."

"You know it," she says as she straightens her back and starts walking in the building with me.

As I wait on the bench for my time to enter the room, I put a hand on my belly. She must be sleeping right now but when she feels my hand, she gives me a light kick. I rub my belly affectionately and smile down at her. "Let's try to do this, okay?"

She responds back with a small movement and I say, "Maybe if you could....help mommy on staying still for a few hours, that'd be great." She stays silent and I scoff at her silence. Of course she's not going to listen.

Yet, she gives me a small kick and I smile. "Great! So we have a deal!"

My academic advisor opens the door and gestures for me to enter. I give him a nod and whisper under my breath as I get up, "Wish me luck, sweetheart. Because I'm really going to need it."