Beginner's Luck ▪︎ Dixie D'amelio/You

20. stay

(Y/N).

Madison's lips came as a surprise to me. I didn't even expect her to listen to me, however there we were, kissing until the air struggled to enter our lungs.

When we let go, I looked at her curiously. The girl in front of me breathing heavily as her eyes became wide, probably realizing what she just had done.

"Oh, God." She breathed.

"Uh...."

"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" She started to repeat quickly, resting her hands on her head.

"Madison, it's o..."

"No, no, no." She cut me off again, closing her eyes for a second and shaking her head.

"What have I done?" The brunette asked, more to herself than me.

"I'm pretty sure you kissed m..."

"This never happened!" She interrupted.

"Look, I won't tell anyone, don't beat yourself up for doing something you wanted to." I said.

"I... I didn't want to. I don't know what go into me. I don't like girls, I don't, I can't." She was talking very quickly, almost talking to herself, her eyes had a desperate look, which wasn't surprising to me. Holding yourself for so long and then exploding all at once is too much information for anyone.

"Y... you should go." She finally looked at me. I sighed and nodded, there was nothing I could do until she calmed herself down. I knew that she was already aware of who she truly was, she just needed to be able to face it outside of her head.

We went back to her front porch silently, but I could still hear her heavy breathing.

"I'll be here if you need to talk, truly." I said, looking at her warmly.

"Please don't tell anyone." Madison pleaded, her eyes glassy. I knew she was asking me to keep more than our kiss secret, and that was terrifying.

"I won't, don't worry." I replied. She took a deep breath and nodded, I smiled weakly and turned my back to her, leaving her place.

I hoped that, after she calmed down, she'd know that at least someone was there to hold her down. The feeling of having to face who you truly are is terrifying, specially when the people around you don't understand it. I had no idea if she didn't accept herself or her family didn't, but none of these are easy. I just hoped she'd be ok, that was a lot for someone's mind.

I got home and called my sister. Things had been calm for a while, but I had learnt to always be alert, things could go wrong at any second, and I wasn't near her anymore, I couldn't be there to help, and that was still hard to face. Either way, I was still glad things were peaceful.

"Hey." Laura's voice filled my eyes, warming up my heart.

"Hey, Laur. Everything ok?" I asked.

"Actually, yes, things have been pretty good since last time. How's America going?" She replied.

"We have this big game in a couple weeks, so we've all been training like crazy. I didn't think I could practice any more than I already did." I told her.

"Well, you're probably still better than the whole team." Laura said, making me giggle.

"Actually, there's this one player that might be as good as me, maybe even better." I told her.

"I don't buy it." She replied, I smiled.

"She's the captain, I have quite a rough time being better than her." I said.