Beginner's Luck ▪︎ Dixie D'amelio/You

24. i miss you

hi! i woke up to so many nice comments and new people who have found this story!! that made me soooo happy!!! to the ones who just found this: welcome and thank you, to the ones who've been here a while: it really means a lot, thank you.

now enough sappy stuff, enjoy this two-parter party! if the comments keep up, i'll make sure to post tomorrow again xx

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Dixie.

"Hey, how are you?" Claudia asked as soon as she saw me, handing me a cup, which I gladly took.

"Trying to have fun." I shrugged.

"Madison's acting weird." My friend commented, pointing towards her best friend with her chin.

"That's not new." I chuckled, watching Madison aggressively make out with a tall guy. She was definitely... having fun.

"You know, I saw her crying twenty minutes ago and she avoided me!" She complained.

"She's jut going through her own thing, she'll come around." I replied, unbothered.

"What's up with you? Still having a fight with (Y/N)?" Claudia raised an eyebrow.

"We're not fighting, and I don't want to talk about it." I retorted.

"Fine, let's go dancing, I heard the goalkeeper wants to know you a little better." Claudia winked, I rolled my eyes.

"She already has... twice." I told her, she widened her eyes.

"Not good?" My friend asked.

"I did do it twitce... I'm jut not up for it." I explained.

"Damn are you that hung up on (Y/N)?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not hung up on her! Let's go dance" I groaned, pulling her by the arm and walking towards a group of people who were dancing. Letting the loud melody swallow me. As my body started moving, I saw the front door open, and my gaze crossed with (Y/N)'s.

I took a deep breath, her eyes analyzing me in a way I'd kinda missed. I made sure to remember her gaze before turning away while I danced, trying to look normal, even though her looks made my back shiver.

Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about it. And then, the known heartache came back, making me angry because I was becoming each time more aware that I couldn't control it. I grabbed Claudia and danced around, trying to ignore the feeling. Behind my friend's back, I could see (Y/N) and Charli talking and suddenly my chest burned with anger. Couldn't she just be out of my way?

I closed my eyes and let the music guide me, the vibrations of the beat making me feel better. I moved carefully, only touching Claudia, that moved along with my body. The sudden darkness of closing my eyes bringing me an odd sense of peace, like I wasn't there anymore, like no one around me was real, not even (Y/N). I moved around freely, until I bumped into someone. I figured it was Claudia, so I just kept moving, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and chuckling. I opened my eyes quickly when those shoulders didn't feel like my friend's and a pair of hands wrapped around my waist. And, once again, my eyes met (Y/N)'s.

"Hey." She smiled, the vibe becoming awkward.

"Oh." I said simply.

"Yeah, you bumped into me." She explained, but her hands still firmly around me, like it was a need. Coincidently, my arms were still around her shoulders too.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was vibing." I told her, making the taller girl chuckle.

"I noticed, I didn't want to disturb you." (Y/N) replied, I smiled weakly.

We stood there, looking at each other for a couple seconds. Maybe waiting for it to crumble down, because we knew it would. The intense feeling that came from her gaze going through me couldn't last long, I wouldn't be able to hold her for much longer, looking at her like that made me realize how intense things had gotten. And I was nowhere near ready to face it.

"Are you ok?" (Y/N) asked so softly I almost couldn't hear her.

"I'm great." I smiled dryly, my eyes focused on hers while we danced.

"You've been missing some chances at practice, just thought I'd ask." She explained.

"Are you holding me just to criticize my soccer skills?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You held me first." She shrugged, making me chuckle.

"I thought you were someone else." I retorted and, for a second, her gaze fell from mine. I found myself pulling her face up by the chin. (Y/N) looked at me curiously.

"Dixie..." She started.

"Don't." I cut her off, laying my head on her shoulder, touching our bodies tenderly, my bones shaking from the sudden need to be around her.

"I miss you." She whispered against my ear, making me heart slam my ribcage.

"I'm sorry." I said back, burying my head on the crook of her neck, feeling her perfume intoxicate me.

"I hate this." (Y/N) confessed.

"It's the only option." I replied

"Do you still care?" My teammate asked suddenly, I gulped.

"Do you?" I asked back.

"I asked first." She retorted, I chuckled dryly.

"Don't make this harder." I said, letting her go and looking into her eyes one more time before walking away. God, I hate this.

Before I could ask where Claudia was, I saw her taking Madison by the hand and going up the stairs. Of course she couldn't take too much time without asking Madison what was going on. I sighed.

I sat down and closed my eyes, trying to feel the remains of her warmth around me. I should've never hugged her, but my body craved it so bad, it was ridiculous. My heart asked to beat against her body and my fear begged to be told to her. But I couldn't, all I could do was wish things were different. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to want to undo the things we did. From that moment, sitting there, I stopped asking how we ended up feeling so much, I just accepted the feeling, and how much it hurt.

I wondered if that small, quick hug made (Y/N) feel as dizzy as I was feeling, if having that conversation made her sick too. I asked myself if she realized that I was in pain, and if she knew that I wanted to lay my head on her shoulder, because keeping it up was becoming exhausting.

I got up, my will to have fun considerably smaller, but I had all the time in the world to think about why I was in pain. I decided to still try to have fun and clear my head.

That was when someone's hands grabbed me and I felt lips touching mine. I started to kiss back for a second, but stopped and pushed the person, finding our team's goalkeeper's eyes.

"I'd been wanting to do this." She told me.

Before I could answer, I looked around and found a known pair of eyes, but they weren't analyzing me, they were hurt.

Next chapter will be chaotic >:) what do u think about this first part?

ALSO: NEW DIXIE FIC SOON, I'LL ANNOUNCE IT AS SOON AS WE HIT 30K