Beginner's Luck ▪︎ Dixie D'amelio/You

27. you don't want to know

"Oh, God." I heard my little sister mumble, her eyes as wide as ever, (Y/N) got pale very quickly. I felt my hands sweating and my face burn in anger, my head feeling as if it was ready to explode.

"No way." I heard Madison comment from my side. I took a deep breath, everything that I wanted to say sounded like knives and fire.

"I'll go." (Y/N) spoke out and passed through us quickly, almost running. That's classy, running away.

The three of us stared at each other, waiting for someone to speak up. I didn't know what to say, or how to feel, all I knew was that my head was hurting and I felt like punching someone.

"Dixie, I..." Charli started.

"Don't." I interrupted my sister, not daring to look into her eyes.

"Madison has something to tell me and I promised I'd listen, I'll talk to you later." I finally said, in a monotone voice, trying to contain my will to yell.

"Actually, Dixie, I don't think it would be such a good idea now." Madison spoke up. Oh, great, she did give up on telling me her secret on the three minute ride to my place. If things were normal, I'd let her, but I needed to listen to something other than my thoughts about that whole situation.

"No, Madison, don't feel insecure, I'm your friend. I'll listen to you with no judgment." I replied, taking deep breaths, still feeling chaotic.

"No, I really think I shouldn't." My friend said, her voice trembling slightly.

"Why? What's the worst thing you could tell me?" I buried my face onto my hands.

"Believe me, you don't want to know." She insisted, making me angry and impatient.

"Oh, for fuck's sake just SAY IT!" I lost my temper, making the two of them widden their eyes.

"I kissed (Y/N)!" Madison blurted out, making me look at her instantly.

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"WHAT?" Charli's voice came out along with mine.

"Oh, so what do we do? Make a "people who've kissed (Y/N)" book club?" I asked ironically.

"Oh, God, I need to sit down." I said, starting to feel dizzy. I sat on the couch and took another deep breaths, but I don't think there were enough deep breaths to control that situation.

"That's why I've been acting weird, I kissed her and I liked it, and you know what that means." My friend explained, sitting by my side.

"It fucking means that you're gay, Madison! Jesus!" I said, still angry.

"It's more complicated than that, Dixie." Madison responded, sitting by my side.

"It really isn't, you like a girl, you kiss her, you date her, I've been doing it for years." I replied dryly.

"You know what? I should've just told Claudia." My friend got angry.

"And why didn't you? Huh? Did you think I'd be glad to hear that you kissed (Y/N)?" I retorted.

"Hey, at least you didn't catch me in the act." Madison pointed towards Charli, making me roll my eyes. I started complaing again, and Madison started talking over me, making me talk even louder, but she didn't stop talking, and neither did I.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" My little sister yelled, making the silence reign in that room again.

"Madison, I think it's beautiful that you like kissing girls, and we'll keep it a secret until you understand yourself better, or for as long as you need us to, I know how your parents get. You have our support, even though Dixie's being rude." My little sister started, walking from the kitchen to the sofa, standing in front of us.

"I'M BEING RU..."

"Dixie." Charli interrupted me, making me stop talking.

"You're the one who made it extremely clear that you didn't care who (Y/N) kissed, and for your own information, she really likes you, you're being an idiot by avoiding her because she's leaving." She finished, leaving me with no response.

"Who said that I'm gay?" Madison muttered, crossing her arms.

"Oh, you made it clear by kissing (Y/N)!" I hissed.

"Oh, yeah? Than maybe I'll date her." My friend hissed back.

"Huh? Maybe I will... again." I responded, looking at her angrily.

"You know what? You two are idiots, maybe I'll date her." Charli said, leaving us speechless.

"YOU'RE STRAIGHT!" I complained.

"So was Madison 30 seconds ago." My little sister shrugged.

"So that's it, we're all fighting over a girl? That's ridiculous." I spoke up.

"Feel free to bail, less competition for me." Madison shrugged, making my blood boil so much I though I was about to have a heart attack.

"You wish." I hissed, getting up and going to my room, not being able to believe Madison and Charli, that was so dumb.

For a while, I just laid down and looking at the ceiling, unable to form any thoughts. The amount of things that happened in a short while flooding me, all I did was feel. I felt anger, sadness, and a lot of confusion.

I was interrupted by a door opening, revealing my little sister. I rolled my eyes and turned to the side.

"Mom and dad woke up with all the screaming." Charli spoke out.

"Are you coming in here to tell me the yelling is my fault?" I asked dryly.

"No, Dixie! Chill." She sat by the edge of the bed, I rolled my eyes.

"How did it happen?" I asked suddenly.

"Uhm... I don't think..."

"Just say it, Charli." I interrupted her in a firm tone.

"Well, we were at Madison's and Chase was yelling at me, then (Y/N) took me upstairs to call me down and I... I felt different, she was just being nice but I couldn't help it." She started.

"So it happened more than once?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Let me finish! Then she walked me home and I thought it was a one time thing, maybe I had done things in the heat of the moment." Charli continued.

"Did you have sex with her?" I asked.

"NO, DIXIE!" She crossed her arms, I sighed.

"(Y/N) walked me home and I did ask her to stay, you know how I get when I'm confused. So she stayed the night and when we woke up I went to make her breakfast, we ate and I thanked her for being nice, but then that different feeling came again and I kissed her, that's when you and Madison got home." My sister finisher, I buried my face in my hands, feeling exhausted.

"You know what, you can feel that different feeling all you want and kiss her all you want, I'm done with this drama." I finally spoke up, getting up and opening my bedroom door. I couldn't be home anymore, and I knew where to go.