Desired / Chanlix /

👑18👑

Ops I'm back. This week was hard, but it's over. I'm getting better and I will try updating more in the weekend.

It's a small, but really helpful for Changbin and Hyunjin, update. And also, their friendship is quite different....

Ops.

So, are ya all ready?

Love, SD 

Hyunjin woke up. He couldn't remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembered was him, looking at this boy with a smile. This was wrong, it was all wrong. From the fact that he liked him, to the fact he was obsessed with him. He bit his lip, struggling to stop thinking about his beautiful face.

"I can't really remember seeing you like that." Changbin said. Hyunjin thought he was sleeping,  but he was actually awake and he was looking any the blond tall boy.

"What do you mean?" He asked. It was curiosity what made him ask this particular question, but it was way more than that when he heard the answer.

"You look happy." Changbin answered. "I mean... you were mad at Chan. You were more than that, you hate him so much. But at this moment you look happy. And I don't think that the reason is Jennie."

"Then what?" Hyunjin mumbled. He wanted to know more about what Changbin was talking about. What he thought?

"It's a boy." He said straight away without even hesitatating. 

"What? No!"

"I saw you, you were looking at him and... you didn't seemed that angry." Changbin told him. "And I know who he is."

"How?" Hyunjin mumbled. "How could you know? You're not here these days, you..."

"I know you don't hate Chan for leaving you at the benches. I know you're scared because you have feelings for him, but he's not going to look at you this day. And you're scared to talk with someone, because you're gay and this would make them go away from you."

This was the explanation.  It was good enough for Hyunjin to nod. He tried to smile.

"Yes, you're right." He said. "I... I am afraid to be myself."

"You don't have to. But I can assure you, Chan would never look at you the same way. He's straight."

They sat in silence.

"What would I do about it?" Hyunjin asked. It was too insistent from Changbin to talk about this, but for now Hyunjin was feeling super confident in answering these questions. As long as he felt comfortable, he was ready to talk about it. Maybe at least Changbin would be able to give him an advice.

"Nothing. Or you can try to talk with him. I'm not sure what to tell you, because he's really mad at your reaction. I heard the boys talking and..."

"What?"

"They mentioned that your reaction was too much. Now you did what you wanted, everyone except me hates you.  Some of them just a little bit, some of them way more, but Chan.... I don't know, but I think that he hates you the most from everyone of this team." Changbin whispered. "Now I'm not able to keep you in the Team. If Chan and the Coach decide to take you out, you're out."

Hyunjin bit his lip, cursing Chan. If this happens,  he would do everything to make him feel miserable. He would do everything to destroy him, he would do everything to hurt him more, than Chan would hurt him with kicking him out of the team. 

"How can I make him think about it?"

"I don't know,  maybe you will have to tell him everything. Maybe you will have to tell him that you're attracted to him, because.. I don't think so, but maybe he would be at least bisexual." Changbin thought for a moment. "Maybe, or maybe not, if he hears what you have to say, he may think about it. He may understood that you're acting like that  because you have feelings for him and... you know, it would be easier to made him think about leaving you in the team. You chose!"

Hyunjin didn't say a word for a couple of minutes. He was thinking about telling him the truth about himself,  but he was thinking about lying to him too. He was thinking about calling him, but he was afraid and he was still very affected from the last match.

"You're quiet..." Changbin raised to look at him.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"About... about confessing all my feelings to him."

"You never know, he may like you too!" Changbin  cheered him up.

"So, you're not going to laugh at me...?" Hyunjin asked. 

"No. In fact, I know gay people and I prefer talking with gay people more than with straight people. And it was always so strange why I was closer with you, if you weren't gay. Now I know and I'm glad that you finally told me." Changbin said. "I just want you to feel safe around me."

"You would never tell anyone without my permission?"

"Never."

"Thank you!" Hyunjin smiled. He was still thinking about this boy with a big grin on his face. He had to tell him everything,  he had to confess,  even though he was sure that he would be sad when he hears "Sorry, I'm not gay..."

"You and Chan... would do a good couple, don't you think?" Changbin chuckled. "He doesn't have a girlfriend and I think Jennie tried to seduce him too, but he dumped her."

"Jennie?"

"Yes, at the Halloween party. Also, she said that if we win, she would throw a party at her house next weekend, so maybe she would try again." Changbin told him with a irritated face. "You gotta act faster than her."

"He's not gay." Hyunjin said. "Me telling him everything will never work the way you want to."

"Did you ask him?"

"No, but I know it."

"Fine, leave him and on the next match they will be dating and you... will not play in the game and yeah..." Changbin laughed. "Of course, you don't want it, right?"

"Sure." He stood up from there and took his towel in his hand. "Don't come in the bathroom, I am going to take a long hot shower."

His roommate didn't say a word, but he went into the bathroom. Changbin thought he was actually acting strange, but now knowing for sure that Hyunjin had a crush on Chan, he felt better.