Desired / Chanlix /

👑29👑

Chan and Felix didn't talk more at school. Later after school Chan was going out with his friends, so Felix was alone in their room. He was listening to music, singing. He was scared to go to skate right now, because of course he didn't eat much and his body could try to do this restart it did every time. Chan and the others from the straight kids were in a cafe, talking about the new upcoming exam.

Felix's phone beeped. He didn't look at it from the beginning, sure that this was Chan's "I will come back soon, babe" message, but when he heard it beeping again, he took it and unlocked it.

PatronusHwang

PatronusHwang
I hope you're not sleeping.

PatronusHwang
Wanna hang out?"

ChanMadeThisACC
Sure. I'm bored anyway

ChanMadeThisACC
Where??

PatronusHwang
I will meet you near the stairs at your floor. Be there in 5 minutes?

ChanMadeThisACC
Of course. I will be there.

Felix left his phone aside and stood up from the bed  he grabbed a big hoodie and put it on. He smiled looking at his reflection. This one hoodie was his favorite, Chan gave it to him while they were back in Australia and since then, he loved when he had the time to wore it. Despite his clothes were mostly black, he had one red hoodie  and when Felix was cold, because he was sick one day, Chan gave it to him, with the simple promise, "I will always be there, next to you."

He grabbed his phone from the bed, he took his keys and went out as fast as he could. When he approached the stairs, he saw Hyunjin coming down. He smiled and waved awkwardly.

"Hey, Felix!" Hyunjin mumbled coming closer. "Did you wait for me?"

"I just came here. Don't worry." Felix looked him in the eyes.

"Nice hoodie, by the way." Hyunjin smiled, and Felix giggled.

"With a past."

"You don't look like you are burning to tell me the past, so I won't ask. Do you mind us going to the roof again? I felt the sudden urge to smoke and I'm too lazy to go somewhere else..." hyunjin asked him with a puppy face. Felix nodded. "I'm so sorry that I always smoke when I'm with you..." he mumbled, while they were slowly coming to the window where they had the chance to go out and land on the roof. Felix didn't say a word, he just smiled.

"It's okay, I just don't like young people to kill themselves slowly and surely." Felix shrugged. "If you need it, I'm okay with it."

"Yeah. Yeah, I need it."

They sat like that in silence for a while. None of them say anything. Felix was scared that if he tried to say something, he would expose himself. And he wasn't really sure that he's going to act cool around Hyunjin soon.

There were minutes that passed. Each of them so fucking slow. Hyunjin left his cigarette in the roof and looked at the boy next to him. Slowly his eyes traced his face, searching any kind of emotion or sign that would make him finally understand what was happening with this boy.

"What happened?" Hyunjin asked. The answer was too short and not really clear if Felix heard Hyunjin, so he repeated it. "What happened?"

"With what?" Felix asked him after a while. He had no clue what the hell was Hyunjin talking about, but he knew... deep down in his mind he knew how this conversation was way too close to exposing him.

"With you and Chan, what happened with you two?" Hyunjin asked for the third time and hopefully, Felix was now able ready to give him the answer he needed to hear. At the same time Felix wasn't looking at him, he was somewhere lost in the clear sky and he was slowly tracing the constellations he could recognize. He thought about what was Hyunjin really asking and what should he answer, but he had no idea.

"What do you mean me and Chan?" he finally spoke.

"I mean... he told us that you and him were so close back in the days, when you both lived in Australia. He said that you had a fight and now you're slowly recovering your friendship." Hyunjin explained. "What was the fight about?"

Felix could remember every single detail of the fight Chan had in mind. He could remember himself passing away and after that waking up in Chan's arms. He could remember how dizzy he was and what Chan told him at this time.

"I don't remember." He lied.

"You're lying." Hyunjin said.

"No, I am really not!" Felix tried to defend himself. "I just remember how I passed out and I woke up. He was holding my body and he was scared. This was the first time I passed out. I can't remember what happened before I got unconscious, but I can remember how I felt and how I lost control over my body. I can remember how scared he was after that, I can remember how I tried to go away from him and Zhow I needed days to go through a fight I could not remember. And after that he was mad at me  because the times I was passing out were getting more and more. And he told me to eat, and I didn't..."

Hyunjin didn't say a word.

"I'm so sorry I asked you. Didn't mean to make you feel bad." He whispered.

"You didn't make me feel bad. I just don't like the fact that I don't really remember anything about this fight except of me almost dying." Felix mumbled. "If something happens with me when we're together, just call him. And try to wake my body as soon as possible." Felix mumbled.

"Sure." Hyunjin smiled and looked at him. "I hope I really didn't make you feel bad."

"It's fine."

***

Seungmin and Jeongin were slowly walking through the cold wind, they were done with the hanging out for today and they were now coming back home. They were talking about different stuff, but what made them most curious was how Chan acted today.

"I really heard him saying to his roommate something like "are you jealous?"  And I don't know what should that mean." Seungmin told Jeongin. "Like... are they friends, are they not only..."

"You heard him, they were close friends,  maybe this is some kind of a joke between them. You would never know." Jeongin told him.

"I don't think that's our job to mess in their friendship..." Seungmin shrugged. "But it really got me so curious."

"One thing I know for sure, Chan had never been opened to us. He never told us everything about himself." Jeongin concluded. "But I don't care, because he's not the one that I trust the most."

Seungmin just mumbled "sure" and they went into the dorm.