Desired / Chanlix /

👑35👑

Hyunjin was slowly walking through the buildings. He wanted to reach a bar when he used to go when he was mad. Now he wasn't mad. He was sad. He was lost. He... He was disgusted by his own lower act. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. He wanted Felix all this time he wanted him, no matter how many times he had told himself that he wasn't gay, he never felt good with a woman. And when he raped Jennie, he didn't even like it. He did it to tell his body that he wasn't gay. And when Felix just stood from there and left him, Hyunjin finally understood how bad he was. 

He finally reached the bar and opened the door entering. 

"Mister, you don't have the..." Hyunjin went through the guard. "I know him, let him in." Someone said and Hyunjin met a familiar face. 

"I'm sorry. Can I...?" He started, but the man in front of him just showed him the bar. "Thank you, but don't tell my parents." 

"I won't, but please don't die." 

"I won't," he smiled and went to the bar. When he reached it, he ordered himself a drink. "A big one." he reminded the bartender. 

"I know. It's always big for you." he chuckled. 

"Now they are probably going to be way more than ever," Hyunjin said. 

"The girlfriend?" 

"I don't even have a girlfriend."

"Then?" 

"Lost a friend." 

When Hyunjin was chatting with the bartender and drinking his drink, someone sat next to him. 

"What a surprise!" the new guest said. This voice sounded so familiar for Hyunjin, so he turned his head just to see Jisung standing next to him. "Long blond hair and such a tall beautiful man is standing here surely trying to get drunk?" Jisung said. "Why is this all about?" 

"Why do you even care, Jisung?" Hyunjin asked him. 

"Give me two big," Jisung ordered, looking at the bartender. Then he looked at Hyunjin and asked, "And why are you here?" 

"Why are you here? It's not like you don't have friends or something..." Hyunjin started, and Jisung rolled his eyes. "What?" 

"They're sleeping. And I ..." The bartender gave him the two glasses of whiskey. He took one of them and drank it like it was a shot. Then he grabbed the second one, but before drinking it, he looked at Hyunjin with a raised eyebrow. "Just broke up with my boyfriend." 

Hyunjin looked at him. "It seems that a lot of "straight" kids are not straight, huh?" Hyunjin asked him and laughed, drinking the last of his glass. Jisung looked at him in confusion. "Chan and Felix are dating." 

"I know," Jisung whispered. I entered their room one they and I saw them one on top of the other and..."

"And your boyfriend? Who's your boyfriend?" Hyunjin asked him. 

"Minho." 

"Another straight kid?" Hyunjin started laughing hard. "Okay. It's not only me, I see." 

"Only you?" Jisung asked him, then he made a sign to the bartender to give him one more. Hyunjin did the same and sighed. 

"Well... I did something bad because I kind of knew that I was gay, but I wasn't ready to admit it and I tried it with a girl again, thinking that I could start liking being with girls, but I didn't really feel good, so..." Hyunjin stopped. "Anyways, nothing interesting. Why did you guys break up?" 

"Because... He has that sick ambitions that he might be as good as Chan and he might be playing for the nationals one day and he..." Jisung took his glass and drank half of it, leaving it on the bar again. "He said he loved me, but he won't leave his dream for me, and he.." 

His memories got him back in time in almost an hour before, when he was yelling at Minho. 

******* 

"You're not fucking helping me!" Jisung yelled. "I told you, I wanted to fucking tell people! I can't live like that, I don't want it!" He continued. 

"Then we're done," Minho said calmly. 

"Done?" Jisung asked. "Done. Okay, we're done. But it's not you beaking up with me, it's me! I'm breaking up with you and I would ask to change room with someone, because I don't want to see you anymore, Minho!" He yelled, grabbing his jacket. "I HATE YOU!" He almost screamed leaving the room. 

Minho didn't do anything. He just stood there speechless as hell, not knowing if he was satisfied with the end of all of this. But he shrugged and went to bed. He had nothing that he could do to make it better. 

******* 

"I broke up with him," Jisung said lastly. He grabbed his glass again and finished it. Hyunjin did the same with his second one. after a few more minutes of silence, Jisung leaned his head over Hyunjin's shoulder. "I feel dizzy."

"Have you ever been drunk before?" 

"I don't drink..." he mumbled. "Can we... Go........ home?" he asked, ad Hyunjin grabbed a new glass that the bartender gave him, When he finished it, he left it there and looked at the man in front of him. 

"Ask the Punch to cover these two, and tell him I will give him the money tomorrow." 

"Don't worry, he won't even want your money. Take care of him, he's not good." Hyunjin nodded. He went out, carrying Jisung in his hands. 

"Mommy, I feel like I'm going to throw up..." 

"No, Jisung..." Hyunjin mumbled, but the boy in his hands just threw up in front of Hyunjin. He rolled his eyes. 

"I feel so bad. I want to die...." Jisung mumbled. "I'm never gonna drink again..." 

"Jisung, please stop lying. You're gonna be drunk tomorrow night again." he laughed. Hyunjin saw a taxi passing by and he waved. Surprisingly, the car stopped in front of them and he helped him go inside on the backseat. 

"Take me somewhere with you, I don't want to be with him anymore,"Jisung mumbled and covered his mouth with his hand. "What's that?" 

"The dorms..." Hyunjin said to the driver and took out of his pocket a tissue. He carefully wiped Jisung's little mouth and smiled. "You're so drunk, you're not gonna remember this, so... I want to tell you that you're beautiful." 

"No, I'm not, I'm drunk as fuck, because my fucking ex is closeted gay that doesn't want to tell anyone about us..." Jisung mumbled. "I feel bad, I'm gonna...." 

"NO!" Hyunjin shouted. 

"Do you need me to stop?" The driver asked. 

"Yes, please. We're gonna walk there. Thank you. How much money do I owe you?"

Hyunjin paid and helped Jisung get out. 

"Okay baby, you're gonna sleep with me, because I will be pretty scared to leave you on your own." 

They both started walking and Jisung threw up again. Hyunjin helped him with the walking and soon they were in front of the dorms. "Are you feeling bad? You have to puke here if you feel like it..." 

"I'm sleepy and I want to stop the rotation of like everything. Not gonna puke." Jisung mumbled. 

"Okay, baby, now I have to take you in my arms to carry you to my room," Hyunjin told him, but he wasn't even listening. He grabbed him and entered the dorm. He climbed all of the stairs with Jisung still in his hands talking some shit, not even knowing where he was going to be taken right now, but when Hyunjin finally reached his bed, he left Jisung there and took a blanket to cover him. He took off his clothes and then he undressed as well before lying down next to him. He turned him to one side and smiled, looking at him. "Why did you do this, little boy?"

"Hold me tight..." Jisung mumbled before finally falling asleep. Hyunjin wrapped his hands around him and kissed his forehead. 

"Sleep well, little boy." He whispered and closed his eyes, ready to go to sleep.