I Know Your Secret-Death Note

Hold You Closer

       "I love you." She whispered, only for him to hear. He carefully brought her shirt over her head, peppering kisses along her collar bone.

       "L, I love you." Part of L was scared she was only telling him she loved him to compensate for all the times she didn't say it, not because she meant it, but he would always have that fear lurking in the back of his mind. 

       Lawliet. He thought.

       "I want to tell you." He didn't say it in the way that indicated he was going to tell her. He said it like he wanted to tell her.

       "God, I want to tell you." Sometimes L thought about telling her his real name. He imagined what it would sound like when she called him by it. Soft and whispering, enough to set L's nerves on fire.

       "Hey," Ori's hands on his face pulled him back to the present. "It doesn't matter if you're Hideki Ryuga, L, Ryuzaki, or whatever your real name is. I'm not in love with your title or your name; I'm in love with you." Her eyes were big with honesty. The gold looked liked it had been dyed obsidian in the blanket of darkness that wrapped around them. It was suffocating in the best way. 

       "What did I do to deserve you?" He intertwined their fingers, pushing Ori further into the mattress. He waited for any objections of pain for her back, but he got none. 

       "You asked me if I was nervous about the exam." She said quietly, breathlessly. "You met my mother and was somehow able to keep up with her shenanigans-"

       "It was easier than keeping up with yours." He interrupted. She let out a laugh before continuing. 

       "You made fun of that poem with me. You were there after Vivian was gone." She let out a soft hum, nuzzling into L's jaw. "You loved me. You were patient. You're a hell of a kisser." She broke off with a soft laugh. "You're alive."

       "That's a pretty low bar."

       "I figured it'd be okay to go easy on you." When she laid her head back against the bed, her cheeks were pink and darkening her freckles. Her skin glowed in the light that passed through the wide crack in the curtain. The full moon made it easy to make out her dark eyelashes casting shadows on her round cheeks. 

       L's heart felt full where it pounded steadily in his chest, ready to burst. It was almost six in the morning, Ori had long fell asleep, but L was still awake. The moon was beginning to sink, and the reds, pinks, oranges, and purples of morning were beginning to take over the sky. The colors brought out the white-gold and red strands in Ori's hair where she lie sprawled along his chest. It fanned over her back, ticking L's sides where the ends touched. The burns on her back had lessened and didn't appear to hurt anymore. The skin was still a little pink, mostly around the mountain range of raised scar tissue, but a little more burn would cure that.

       L wondered when his thoughts had been so consumed by Orien Nanase. When her dragon-eyes had enraptured him so completely. When he couldn't close his eyes because her image would appear and he'd never want to open them again until the real thing was in the room. 

       It was true; L was completely, utterly whipped, and he had no intention of stopping it. He'd cater to her every need if she asked, which she'd probably take full advantage of for laughs before telling him to relax. He knew the requests would still be small and insignificant, like maybe cuddling, or sharing a piece of his cake, but they'd be pretty constant until she eventually let him eat his own cake and made her own. 

       Ori moved against him, eyebrows scrunched together in a frown. A small whimper escaped her and her breath picked up. L had seen this image several times before over the security cameras. She'd clenched and tremble and sob until she woke up breathless and alone. L would talk to her over the mic until she was able to fall asleep again. He hated himself for ignoring her when he was angry. He hated himself for being angry to begin with. Ori had done nothing wrong, and instead of talking like a mature adult, L lashed out like a child.