WHAT THE FUCK-

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This is a Rick and Morty × us crossover. To those of you who don't know what Rick and Morty is:

   After having been missing for nearly 20 years, Rick Sanchez suddenly arrives at daughter Beth's doorstep to move in with her and her family. Although Beth welcomes Rick into her home, her husband, Jerry, isn't as happy about the family reunion. Jerry is concerned about Rick, a sociopathic scientist, using the garage as his personal laboratory. In the lab, Rick works on a number of sci-fi gadgets, some of which could be considered dangerous. But that's not all Rick does that concerns Jerry. He also goes on adventures across the universe that often involve his grandchildren, Morty and Summer. And he also has a portal gun which he uses to travel between dimensions. Morty is his sidekick.

Sharvee's POV

    BAM. A loud thud woke me up as a Rick Sanchez toppled on top of me through a florescent green portal. 'RICK? RICK FROM 'RICK AND MORTY'? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T REAL!' I screamed loudly, waking up Daisy, Alex and Shreni and probably the whole common room. 'Of course we're real you bitch! Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities, dumbass.' Explained Rick as Morty fell beside Rick. 'S-so, this is Hogrot- Hogwarts, huh?' Inquired Morty, hastily correcting himself.

    'Uh yes, this is the Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry,' I said, stretching my leg on which Rick had fallen. By this time, Daisy, Alex and Shreni had gained enough consciousness to know what was going on.

Shreni was looking wide eyed at the man before her, Daisy was excited beyond measure and Alex was closely watching them. Of course. They still looked like they were cartoons. 'Okay, but why are you here and why do you still look like cartoons?' Daisy asked curiously while Alex seemed interested in the question too.

'We heard that there's magic people and shit here. Is that right? And I don't know about the cartoon part,' he said, frustrated. 'I thought you would have figured it out, Sanchez.' I said.

He glared at me. 'You know that I can turn you into my servant with my brains, right?'  'Well, you know that I can erase your memory to make you the dumbest person on earth, right?' He dropped the subject after that. 'Its okay if you don't know, drop it. What do you want?' I asked, taking out my wand from the drawer in my bedside table.

      'Well, we need a little help. People from Hogwarts from an alternate universe have invaded the Non magical people, what do you call them?'
'Muggles,' said Alex
'Yeah, that. They have also captured Beth and Summer. And they call themselves the Death Poopers.'
'You mean Death Eaters?'
'No, no. I distinctly remember them saying that they were the Death Poopers.'
 
    We all laughed except Rick and Morty, who gave us confused looks. 'Okay so, you want us to help you fight? No problem, bitch. Grab your sci-fi shit and we'll grab our magical one. Also, I need a bestfriend, be a minute.' I said, and for the dramatic effect, smirked evilly and left the room in search for Chen.

'Chen? Chen? CHEN? CHEN!' I yelled. 'What the fuck are you doing in the common room?' I asked, perplexed. 'I thought Mr Slytherclaw never misses out on sleep,' I teased him, grinning.

'Well, I have to study. Snape's been scaring the shit out of me for hanging out with you, and giving me extra work,' he glared at me with an accusatory look. 'Oops. Forgot to tell him that we're like siblings. I had friendzoned you like, years ago,' I said, laughing. 'Har har,' Chen rolled his eyes. 'I have never been interested in people like you who think its funny that a professor is jealous of you and your friends,' he retorted. 'Oh my god help, I'm dying, help, the shots are fired!' I gasped, while not moving a muscle on my face.
 
'Now move your ass. We're going on an adventure with Rick and Morty,'
'We WHAT?'
'Yep. Rick Sanchez and Morty Smith are real. Now move it before I kill you,'

      'Okay so the plan is: Daisy, Sharvee, Chen, Alex. You're coming with me and Morty. Shreni, stay here and keep us informed through this,' he said, tossing a phone in her hands. 'Designed to not go haywire with all the magic around it. You can play on it if you want,' she squealed like a kid, and asked, 'Can I watch YouTube?' 'Sure, but be sure to not check out my watch history. Everyone else, get your sorry asses moving, we have to save my daughter,' 'And Summer,' Morty added. He was especially quiet during us talking, and had spent most of his time staring at Daisy. 'Okay so I know you're the most intelligent person in the universe or whatever, but you can't boss us around,' I said defiantly. 'Watch me do it,' he said blandly. I pulled out my wand in a flash and hit him with a tickling charm, which he tried to stop with a suit. It passed right through the suit and hit Rick squarely in the chest. He flapped around, wheezing. 'This is magic you're dealing with, Rick. There is a limit where technology and science can only get you. Now let's go before we all turn on each other,' I said solemnly, and lifted the charm off of him. He stared at me, his eyes full of tears from laughing, and without a word he got into the spaceship. He perhaps finally found a thing he couldn't disagree with or he was breathless from laughter. Either way, it shutting him up was good enough for me.

    'Do you want an invite to get in?' I grudgingly got in, followed by Daisy, Morty, Chen and Alex. 'First, we gotta get to my home and grab some weapons, because I'm not sure if the Death Poopers will wait for us to go get our things in that universe,' he said sarcastically. 'We have a summoning charm for a reason, bitch,' Daisy said with superiority. 'I don't want things getting summoned and hitting me in the face by "accident", thank you very much.' He said pointedly. 'Okay fine. Just make it quick.'

     The rest of the trip to the Smiths' house was quiet. After we got outside, Rick told Morty to follow him while he left outside on the lawn. I took this chance to talk with my friends. 'Do you guys think we did the right thing by helping these two?' I asked, trying to keep my doubt in check. 'I think so, they haven't killed us yet,' said Alex. 'Duh, Rick is literally the god of the fucking universe. The smartest bitch you've ever seen!' Daisy exclaimed. 'Okay so we help them, and we get back. No change of plans whatsoever, because I wanna see Snape again. Clear?' I looked around. 'Yep. And we can also ask Rick to make us those phones as a favour,' said Chen. 'Chen, you sly dog,' I said, smirking. 'Well if that's all, then we can trust the both of them because they haven't killed us and Rick is a god. So how do we defeat the Death Poopers?' Chen asked, apparently stressed. 'Lmao everyone here is overage and we're going in an alternate universe, so I guess we can use the Unforgivable Curses with no problem as they can't charge us,' I said. 'But what about us from the alternate universe?' Asked Alex. 'Bitch, there's a huge possibility that we're going to be one of the Death Poopers. If we weren't, why the fuck would Rick come here in the first place?' I countered. 'That is hard to disagree with, though I wonder how we became one of them,' wondered Chen. 'Probably we were dumb or shit. Does that matter?' Asked Daisy, now slightly irritated that Rick and Morty were taking so much time. We waited about 5 more minutes until they showed up.

'WOAH!' I gasped, unable to grasp what I was seeing before me. 'Woah indeed, magic people,' said Rick in a narcissistic way. Both of them were wearing purple, blue and black armour, with guns that looked like wands but could fire at an awesome range with unbelievable speed. There were also- FLAMETHROWERS? AMAZING. There were also several things which I couldn't identify: a blue and black box with weird button-ish looking things on it, a thing which looked like a mini vacuum cleaner and had a snow globe-y thing on it which had florescent green liquid in it, and a thing which looked like a gun but I wasn't quite sure that shooting people was its purpose. 'What are those things?' I pointed at the unfamiliar things. 'All in due time, little girl. But you need to know about this,' he pointed at the mini vacuum cleaner looking thing. 'I-its my portal gun. This baby's gonna take us to the universe I am ta-alking about. We are in H-487 now and we're going to C-137.' He punched a few buttons on it and shot at the ground in front of us. 'Ladies first,' he looked at me. 'How about guests first?' I said. 'W-whatever,' he said, indifferently. I looked at my friends, and they nodded. All four of us held hands. 'On the count of three. One...two...three!' I held my breath and jumped into the portal with them.

As you bitches guessed, this has a part two which is already under writing and is gonna be published in a day-ish since I have to go out tomorrow and don't know when I'm gonna come home and get free time and also have to sleep early. Hope you enjoyed the part.
Shovel out *mic drop*

A/n- Thank you for the immense support, and your votes and comments. Really gives motivation to keep going. Keep reading, and we'll see you, next time.
Love,
The Potterzone Fam.

  

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