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"I'm considering quitting YouTube," I said to my manager— Alexis.
We were seated at a sandwich shop having brunch.
A few year ago she found out she had a tumor that disrupted her every day functioning which is why she was excessively cranky and acting different than usual. It had been invading her brain over the course of five years. Everything she knew felt like a lie. All her decision making was influenced by the tumor. Since she had no family, I paid for her to get it removed. We bumped heads but she was my family now.
Anybody that ever worked for me was family and I treated them as such instead of a charity case. Her recovery took several months and she was still going to therapy and learning how to cope with losing something that had been apart of her for years, she was learning how to be independent again.
Most people would think you'd be overjoyed to have a life threatening tumor removed but once it actually happens you feel empty. You have to learn to make decisions on your own all over again because you believe that you're no longer capable of doing so.
I was so proud of her.
"That's a huge decision, once you decide to quit that's that. You could always go back but it won't be the same." She said chewing on a grape. "What's your reasoning," She wondered. "Well, I've been saving money since forever really and as my contract stated I was to make sure all my content was still available and I'd keep getting a check every month so that wouldn't be a problem," I said as she nodded.
My videos were memories of the old me that my kids would have to cherish forever even once I'm gone.
"I've been going through some things and I just need time to allow myself to be vulnerable and not have the burden of making a video or doing promotion for somebody. I wanna spend my days with my kids and travel the world." I finished. "That's totally understandable and I support you in whatever decision you decide to make even though I'll be out of a job," She pouted. "You won't though," I said looking at her crazily. "since my content will still be accumulating funds you'll still be managing everything and receiving a check monthly. Might not be as much but it'll still be enough to live off of especially if you plan on picking up another client." I said smirking at her.
