We're gonna be royals

Twenty-Nine

It’s funny how a stupid mistake can break a relationship in a second.

That night, between a slammed door and empty hallways, Gun figured out he’s in love with Off in the most heartbreaking way possible. For the first time in a long time, Gun can’t hear anything except his heart breaking into pieces. His chest hurt and he felt heat in his eyes as soon as Off turned his back on him, tears steadily brimming in his eyes. Accompanied with the moon shining outside his dim-lit room, Gun cries harder than he ever did in his entire life that night. 

-

Off craves for love.

From when he was a child until now, he always craves for it and maybe that’s the reason he indulges in it whenever someone showers him love. He rarely rejects love. But for some reason, he wasn’t really great in maintaining relationships. Either with his family or with his first love, things don't seem to work out no matter how much he tried. Because despite Off who’s doing the chasing and trying to make it work, somehow it’s never enough as it always ends up one-sided. 

Or maybe, Off is just simply unlucky in love.

Because after what happened, things don't go back to normal between him and Gun. They no longer meet up and Off always finds his way not dropping by during lunch. One time he chose to stay cooped up in his classroom and skipped lunch because Gun was outside his classroom with Tay and Arm.

And to be honest, things went way worse than before. Off can’t say he likes with how this turned out between them but he also doesn’t want to get hurt any longer so he played dumb, and ignored Tay’s nagging about how both of them are just too stubborn for their own good. It’s easy for Tay to say because he actually got someone who returns his feelings. Apparently, Tay has been going out with that Thitipoom Techaapaikhun for nearly a month now, the newbie who got a dazzling smile as per quoted by Tay. Off  just snorted and didn't want to comment further because Tay looked happy. And Tay really deserves that.

Unlike him.

“What’s your deal with Gun?” Arm popped out a question, breaking him from a reverie.

Off halted his hands for a second at the mention of the familiar name. Eyes blinking once, twice before he looked back at his reflection, a flash of pain painted across his face. It’s pathetic how he was easily affected by the said name. Licking his dry lips, he shrugged off his shoulders and pulled the tip of his lips, steadying a genuine smile across his lips and continued tying a knot for his tie.

“Nothing much” Off replied short.

“Are you sure you’re going to give him up over some bullshit article?” Arm turned, arms crossing on his chest and Off groaned in annoyance.

“It’s not bullshit, Arm. He doesn’t like me, that’s the truth. He likes Oab, he always does. I’m just someone that he used to replace Oab. Now that Oab’s single, maybe this is the time they can be honest with each other and be together. As long as Gun’s happy, I’m happy”

“But what about you?” his eyes wavered at the question. It made him think for a second. What about him? Does he even deserve any love from someone?

“I’m fine with the way things are. My mom has already set me up on a date with some of the girls and next year, I’m probably going to get engaged with one of them. Me and Gun, we’re just not meant to be in the first place. This is fine. It’s fine. I’m fine ” Off rushed between his breath. He tried to calm himself, biting his inner cheek. But Arm probably saw it because his friend has that knowing smile, tight on his face, reading his face like a best friend would be.

Arm gave him a sympathetic look, “Off, Gun’s had it rough too, you know”

“I don’t care about him anymore, Arm. Can’t you just mind your own business?” Off grunted, head feeling dizzy, pulling at the tie around his neck.

“Fucking hell” getting frustrated at the tie that was tangled around his finger, he threw the failed tie on the bed as hard as he could. It’s laid crooked on the bed and Off slumped down, squatting as he hid his face behind his arms. 

“You care about him” Arm took his friend's tie. “We both know you do, Off”

Arm came closer and placed the tie around his neck, “And, I’m not trying to defend Gun or anything, but do you really think that Gun would cheat on you behind your back?”

“It’s not being cheated on that matter, Arm, it’s his feelings. His feelings haven't changed. He still likes Oab” Off argued, rolling his eyes.  

“What made you say that? Did he say it, out loud, I mean?” Arm questioned as he carefully tied the tie around Off’s neck in a knot.

For a second, Off hesitated and wondered where Arm’s going with this argument. “No, he doesn't exactly say it out loud, but I can see it in his eyes”

“What do you mean you can see it in his eyes? Are you a psychic?” Arm deadpanned. His friend was looking momentarily confused at the things spouted from his mouth, folding both of his arms against his chest for a minute until he realized that the action wrinkled his shirt so he settled with placing his palm on his thigh. “Tell me, what did he exactly tell you that night?”

“He just told me that nothing happened and that he didn’t has any feelings for Oab—”

“Then, why do you insist that Gun still likes Oab even after he said that? Don’t you trust him?”

Until that moment, Off truly didn’t know what to say. Trust. Does he even trust Gun?

“Look, you guys are my friends and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. I’m just going to tell you this once, think carefully before you do anything and let down your ego, you’re not going to lose anything either way. I know you can do better.” Arm gave a light punch on Off’s shoulder and moved towards the mirror once again.

Off on the other hand, had knitted his brows tight, nauseous crawling his throat. From this angle, he can see his reflection in the mirror. His tie was askew and too tight against his neck. It made him drifted to the thought that the way Gun pulled his tie into a knot was much better. Neater.

Leaving Off in his distraught thoughts, Arm called out, “Tay, let’s go! We’ve got half an hour left. Your grandmother is going to be upset if you’re late to her birthday party” 

“And stop smiling at your phone for god sake. You look like a disgusting love fool”