EMPIRE SERIES #1 (COMPLETED)
Carmela Raleigh was orphaned after her grandma died. But she was able to get through it with the help of her lover, Nate, and his family. They treated her as if she were a member of their family and allowed her to live w...
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"WELCOME BACK, Cara!"
"I missed you so much, Ate!"
"Thanks, Tita, na-miss din kita Jen." Niyakap ko si Tita Mommy and Jen na parang kakabalik ko lang sa Pilipinas.
Ipinasok namin yong mga maleta ko sa loob ng sasakyan. Mabuti nalang at natapos ako sa pag aayos ng gamit ko kanina kaya naihatid ako ni Gael pabalik sa airport. I told Gael about what happened and where I went. She got mad kasi bakit hindi ko daw siya ginising para isama.
I told her that I'd just bring her with me next time na mag kita kami ni Dhalia. Although I did not tell her about saencounter ko sa Kuya ni Dhalia dahil ako mismo sa sarili ko ay nahiya sa ginawa ko kanina.
I don't know why I stared at him like a fool. He's attractive, yes. But mas madaming gwapo sa Canada pero hindi ako mabilis ma-attract – It's not like I am willing to mingle and date again. I just don't think I'll ever love someone – again.
Natulog lang ako buong byahe pabalik sa bahay dahil hindi ako masyadong nakatulog kagabi sa kaiisip at dahil na rin nagpapanggap akong kunyari may jet lagged.
When we got home, hinayaan lang muna nila akong mag ayos at magpahinga.
Tita Mommy said that later we would go and visit Nate's grave. Today is his first death anniversary. This is the sole reason why I decided to come back dahil alam kong magagalit si Tita mommy at Jen kapag hindi ako umuwi para kay Nate.
It's been a year since he left us.
It's been a year, but the pain is still here. I still can't move on. I don't think I'm willing to move on. Every day, I still ask for his forgiveness. Kaya kahit isang taon na siyang wala, hindi ko pa rin kayang maging masaya dahil pakiramdam ko ang unfair sakaniya na nagagawa kong maging masaya ng wala siya...
Wala akong karapatang sumaya.
I don't deserve happiness.
The only thing that I can do is to keep on loving him, kahit wala na siya. Para man lang makabawi ako sa lahat ng ginawa niya para sa'kin.
Pagkatapos kong mag ayos ng gamit, nakatulog ulit ako dahil kailangan ko ng lakas para mamaya. I need the energy to see him.
I need the energy para malagpasan 'tong araw na 'to.
#
Jen woke me up to say that we were leaving in half an hour, kaya mabilis lang akong naghilamos at nagpalit ng damit. I decided to wear a black, rosy lace dress that goes up to my knees and a pair of black flats. Inilugay ko lang 'yong buhok ko dahil I have a natural wavy brown hair, kaya hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras para ayusin - Nate likes it too when I just let my hair down. Hindi na rin ako nag-abala pang mag make-up dahil tinatawag na rin nila ako para umalis.
I just really wish that I could get my necklace back. I feel lonelier without it.
Upon arriving at the cemetery, I couldn't help but to feel numb – again.
