Remember Your Worth | Jackson Avery

thirty-seven

"What is your problem?"

"You stood there while I begged- begged! I begged you to let me out and you didn't."

"You know that I couldn't. It was too risky and unsafe, you could be dead right now.."

"Yeah, but I'm not. You know who is, though? Nisha. A young woman who's barely even got to experience life."

"So you're saying you would rather it be us?"

"No." He scoffed.

"I'm saying she took my place and... and I couldn't even save her."

"That isn't your fault.."

"Who's is it, then?!" He yelled.

"You know what, when you figure out how to talk to me, then we can chat.."

I walked out, shutting the door behind me. Rae picked the movie, wanting to watch one before she went to bed. About an hour in, she fell asleep then JJ went down. I smiled at Rae's milk covered face. 

After putting them to bed and cutting the lights off, my body sank into the comfortable couch. I heard sniffling before the light came on revealing a puffy-eyed Jackson. We stared at each other until he walked over, laying on top of me with his head on my stomach.

"I'm sorry." His voice cracked.

"I just- today was rough and.. I know it's no excuse. I was no help with the kids; they were giving you a hard time tonight and you were alone. This question just keeps running through my mind, you know?"

"What question?"

"Why did we get to live and Nisha didn't? If Deluca hadn't pulled us out of the way, that could've been us. Our children could be orphans or in a single parent household."

"They're not. I know it seems unfair but we are alive. We have another chance to see our children grow up. Try to focus on the positive, okay?"

"Yeah, I definitely will. I know what I need to do now.."

~

"Jackson?" I called through the apartment, getting no response.

Cries came from the baby monitor. I texted him, asking where he was, not receiving a response.

Throughout my journey of getting all of us ready, I called and texted Jackson, never getting a response. If he wasn't dead, I was going to kill him.

"You look exhausted, baby." Aunt Mir said, walking with me as I left the daycare.

"My husband seemingly disappeared this morning so I had to get them ready by myself. How I made it on time, I don't know.."

"It's called motherhood. Tuck says it's a superpower." She smiled, thinking of the annoying little bean.

"I gotta go. Got a consult with Maggie."

We said our goodbyes. I went to change then up to the peds floor.

"I thought you were a genius in this field. Why do you need me?" Maggie asked.