Dear Diary, Makaka-move on ba ako?

Thirteen

"In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson."

- Tom Bodett

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Dear Diary,

Today is the first day of school.

Hindi ko maiwasan na maging malungkot, and to be honest, kinakabahan din ako but at the same time, excited din ako.

Excited na akong makita yung mga kaibigan ko na sina Rosie at Vina. Hindi man lang kami ni minsang nakapag hangout netong summer. Pano ba naman kase, panay Boracay, Baguio, Tagaytay ang pinag pu-puntahan netong summer. Samantalang ako, nandito lang sa bahay... may Paolo. :'>

Summer went by quickly, but in those weeks, I would say that they have been the most challenging and memorable. Isipin mo ba naman kasi Diary, nung simula lang ng summer kita binili, and then nakilala ko si Paolo within the first week. Tapos I promises to myself na magiging kami before mag pasukan diba? And look at me now!

Pasukan na, and 6 days ko na syang boyfriend. <3

Minsan nga, naiisip ko pa din na parang ikaw yung nag pa swerte sa'kin diary eh. Kasi isipin mo ah, kung wala ka, malalaman ba nya na may gusto ako sakanya? Hindi diba? Kaya honestly, you are my lucky charm, diary.

Gusto na nga kitang bigyan ng name eh. Kasi alam mo yun, feeling ko bestfriends na talaga tayo since you know me so so well. Pero I'll think about it muna. x)

Anyhow, I honestly don't know kung makakaya ko 'toh. Bakit pa kasi kailangan na maging mas matanda sa'kin si Paolo? I know that this is my last year na sa high school, and makakapasok na din ako sa college next year with him... pero, hindi ako mapanatag. Sabi kasi nila, magaganda daw yung mga college girls. Tapos ibibigay daw lahat ng gusto ng lalake, pero fun fun lang >-<

Don't get me wrong, I trust Paolo. But, i'm just afraid that one day he'll realize that he was wasting his time dating a high school student like me. Sana naman, hindi umabot sa punto na yun. :( Kasi ako, it will never happen. Nasaktan ako ng maraming beses dahil sa kanya, pero in the end, I still got him. He's still mine. Kaya it's my job now to never let him go. Ever.

That would be so dumb of me nalang kung i-le-let go ko sya noh. Kaya nung tinanong nya ako last week kung kaya ko daw ba mag handle ng long distance relationships, I said that...

"I dunno. Ikaw nga yung first official boyfriend ko, so I'm not as experienced as you are. I don't know."

I'll be honest here. Kinabahan talaga ako nun. Long distance relationship? Diba that's when yung boyfriend mo, nasa malayo tapos ang communication nyo lang is text or internet? Pano na yung mga needs ko? Yung hugs, kisses, him. I need him in general. By my side, at hindi yung sa kung ano anong social medias lang.

"Mag k-kita naman tayo every weekend eh. Ayoko kasing tanggapin yung binibigay na car ni Papa. Kaya naisip ko na mag stay nalang ako sa dorm."

Nung mga moment na yun, I wanna ask him na bakit hindi nalang nya tanggapin yung kotse para lagi kami mag kita, but that would be so selfish of me. Alam ko na malaki ang galit ni Paolo sa Papa nila simula nung iwan nya sila. At alam ko din na it would look like he's bribing his own son for his affection. And I can't let that happen. Not when Paolo doesn't want to.

Kaya nandito ako ngayon, nakaupo sa study table, habang nag papatuyo ng buhok. Na miss ko etong uniform namin kahit papano. Last year ko nang masusuot toh. Grabe, ang bilis ng panahon. Dati naalala ko, grade 3 lang ako na laging nakaupo sa sulok hanggang sa mag high school ako at makilala ko sina Rosie at Vina. ^u^