A Bit of Tomorrow

Thirty-Seventh

Ellis

That moment felt like I was the one being revived, I felt as if I was going to die as the doctors closed the curtain earlier. I've never felt this devastated and broken my whole life. My eyes felt stingy and I felt like collapsing anytime soon but I need to be awake, sane.

I still heard Sarah and Leah sobbing beside me but I was too embarrassed and guilty to even sneak a glance at them. I kept biting my lower lip until they felt like bleeding already.

"Are you her friends?" we heard a voice call our attention. I instantly shot up from my position and nod at the doctor in front of us. Sarah and Leah both stood in front of me so I take a step back to give them space.

"How is she?" Leah asked, with a hint of worry.

"She's already in stable condition, she'll probably wake up after two days. She didn't suffer from any major injuries in the body but we did notice some injuries in her head area but thankfully she survived. We'll run some tests after she wakes up." The doctor informed the three of us.

Leah nodded and said, "Thank you, doc."

"You can go up to her room after thirty minutes." The doctor nodded.

Head injuries. She'll wake up after two days. I can't begin to process the fact that Cassy's suffering all of these because of me. I stood still in my spot, not knowing what to do. It was as if in that moment, I lost everything. I lost my life's will.

I see my heart broken before me and I don't even think this is the same magnitude of brokenness that I brought upon Cassy earlier. I don't think she'll ever forgive me for what I did.

Sarah and Leah both disappeared from my sight after Leah told me that they would be taking care of Cassy's stuff. Sarah was silent the whole time and didn't lay a gaze on me and I wasn't blaming her if she was angered by me.

The situation outside the hospital right now was making it hard for me to leave aside from being weak all over. The media people were outside, trying to catch a glimpse of what happened to Cassy but the hospital security was told to be strict and not allow any of them inside for the meantime.

Brian along with the other office people kept bombarding my phone but what answer did I have to give them? The next thing that I wanted to do right now was to quit the job—but I couldn't because of my state.

I stayed there inside as I sank back onto the chair, thinking of recurring thoughts. Minutes later, a police officer came in. He looked the less provoked and seemed to be walking straightly up to me.

"Are you related to Miss West?" he asked in his deep tone voice.

I stood up and nod at him slightly, "Why?"

He handed over to me a zip lock with Cassy's car keys and some of her recovered stuffs from the car. When I reached out to take the plastic from him, a particular thing caught my attention. Inside it was the cassette tape that I gave Cassy on the night that I took her on a date.

I felt my heart break into much finer pieces that moment.

-

I stare at the ceiling, into oblivion. Rethinking every little thing that happened. I can't help but recall the memories I had with Cassy, and how I made a huge mistake. How I deserve to be the one in the hospital. How things had to lead into this.

I've been technically sulking for the past four days. I still have not reported to the office ever since the accident and I've been receiving calls from the admin. I haven't had any showers, I was basically a caveman.