A Bit of Tomorrow

Twenty-Seventh

Cassy

"He confessed??" her eyes widened at me but it seemed a bit off. I was expecting Sarah to glide across the room in excitement but she remained still in her seat as if she was expecting it already.

"He technically did, a month ago and if that letter didn't fall from the bag yesterday who knows when I could've found out?" I sighed,

"Didn't you say you were going to dinner with him?" she asked munching on the nuts,

"Mhmm," I fiddled with the paper towel.

"Well?? Did you tell him you found out?" she asked,

"I didn't," I furrowed my eyebrows at her,

"Why?? Wasn't it awkward?" she suggested further,

"Not really..." I trailed off and bit the side of my lip,

"What are you going to do then?" she added,

"What do you mean?" I asked her, scrunching my nose.

"I mean, you have Ellis now and then Mark finally admitted." She went on,

I narrowed my eyebrows at her, "Wait, what do you mean finally??"

She seemed taken aback by my question and began refusing eye contact with me, "Uh, I mean—what?"

"Did you know about this??" I widen my eyes, "I swear to the heavens Sarah, if you lie to me I'll—"

"Okay, yes!" she admitted raising her hands in defeat.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?! And how did you find out??" I frantically exclaimed, ready to pounce at her any moment now. Thankfully, I'm not that violent.

"First of all, it's not my feelings to tell." She lifted her pinky finger, "Second, it's obvious—I don't know why it took you so long to notice." She lifted her ring finger, "Lastly, I just got to confirm it months ago when he slipped." Then, her middle finger, she was raising the three fingers simultaneously so it wasn't like she was flicking me.

"Ugh, I feel so bad." I buried my face between my hands. I didn't mean to lead him on in the least. I was so comfortable with having him by my side that I regarded him as a brother.

"Hey, hey." Sarah grabbed my hands and forced me to look at her, "You feel bad, yes but that doesn't make you a bad person. You didn't mean to lead him on and it wasn't your intention. You don't have to worry, he isn't expecting anything in return so you shouldn't feel any kind of pressure."

"But I feel responsible for his feelings," I groaned and sunk down on my seat,

"Honey, no. Mark is a good guy and by that I don't mean that you should take advantage of his feelings. What I mean is, if you turn him down in the calmest way, he will understand. He's not one to force his feelings on someone and we should know that as his friends. He probably just thought that he should at least tell you what he really feels. If you're still in hoops, talk to him." she advised calmly.

I sighed, "I know you're my friend for a reason." I gave her a small smile. She chuckled and shoved me away.

She's right, I should at least give him the closure he deserves. Instead of thinking about it myself, I should talk to him about it, so we know which pages we stand on. Even if we end up being distant—which I hope won't happen, at least we're able to walk away with feelings that were addressed properly. I can't have him locked up with his feelings for me forever.