𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 • 𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚎

𝚇𝙸𝙸

"I'm not just gonna drop everything to move back to Lima. I came here to get away from Lima. Things happened there...I don't want to go back there, Sam." 

"What if the roles were reversed?" 

I brought my head forward a little bit and just looked at him. "I wouldn't force you to do anything. If you wanted to stay in New York, I'd stay here. That's what a relationship is. Compromise. I have school. This is how I'm gonna get my degree. It's the one thing I've wanted since I was six. Believe me, if I didn't have anything here, I would move back. I get it, my mom's there. But Finn is here, and Lexie...Scarlett...Santana. God. You're best friend is here, and you want to just drop everything?" Then, it was quiet. We both didn't talk for a while. 

I sighed as I walked over and sat down on the couch. I put my head in my hands and just sat there. "What are we gonna do?" I sighed. "You're gonna go to Lima and I'm gonna stay here. We are gonna try this whole long-distance thing. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If it works, it works." 

"And if it doesn't?" 

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I sighed and practically whispered, "I don't know." I just stared ahead at the blank t.v. "I have no clue." The front door opened and Artie and Blaine came back home. They both just stood there for a minute, looked back and forth at each other before attempting to leave the apartment. 

"Nuh uh. Stay." I said over my shoulder. "Won't it be awkward?" Artie asked. I sighed and closed my eyes for a minute. "You guys stay here." I mumbled. "I am gonna go for a walk." I stood up and headed over to the door. 

"I thought you would want to know that all of your hoodies are in a box in the back of the closet--the only box in the back of the closet. My favorite one is in the top drawer of the dresser. I thought you might want to pack them if you're leaving. I'm gonna be out for a while so, I'll text you when I'm on my way back home. If you're not on a plane to Lima by then." 

I turned and walked out the door. I didn't know what to say or do. I was heartbroken. The one thing I had going for me, was probably going to end. Everything in my life that I didn't want to remember, happened in Lima. If I went back there, I would remember it. That wasn't something I wanted, if I haven't made it obvious. 

Honestly, if you've been listening to me this far ahead, I think you ought to have known that by now.

Anyway, I was walking for a while. Stopping in some of my favorite stores, spending a little bit of money on myself. I did what I never got to do because I was always with Sam. I mean, sure, it was nice and all, but it was lonely. He was always there to have a conversation with and every time I would turn to have a conversation with someone, there wasn't anyone there. He was amazing and he understood me completely. Everything I did or said, he knew what to do or say next. 

When I'm upset, he knows that all I wanna do is sit on the couch, watch movies, and eat pizza and popcorn. When I'm angry, he knows to not let me near anything breakable--including people. When I'm tired, he knows when I need to go to sleep. He knows what my limits are. Nobody else does. Hell, not even Finn. 

"He's my soulmate." I said to myself. 

That was the first time I had ever said it out loud. It was weird hearing it like that. I had never admitted it like that. Out loud, where I could hear myself say it. Where I knew that it was true. Because it would. 

I thought for a moment, about the conversation we had earlier. The one about the long distance. Most couples that did long distance worked out. But...we weren't like most couples. We were different. We were special. We found something that so many people look for their entire life. I knew how my future would go. 

I would finish school and I would get an amazing job and Sam would still be a model. We would get married and have two children--a boy and a girl (in that order)--I would grow old with him. We would be together forever. I guess now that wasn't the case. 

I was asking a lot, though. I thought that after he got what he wanted, he would stay here with me, and see me live my dream of being in  New York and trying to live my dream. That's what you do for the people you love. You make compromises. You make sacrifices. That's what you do for the people you love. 

At least, I thought he loved me...