𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 • 𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚎

𝙸𝚅

I enjoyed the birthday party that they threw me over the weekend. Granted, I had a major hangover Monday morning, but honestly it was nice. The best part of everything was what Finn did for me. For my last couple of birthdays, I had gotten small things like new jackets or shirts. Sometimes I even got shoes, but no one had ever gotten me something that amazing.

I started to think about everything that I was upset about. I hadn't even admitted it to myself. I wasn't speaking to him because I knew how I talked. I didn't want my last conversation with my best friend to be some stupid comment about how I wanted something or about how I was a bitch. That's not how I wanted to have my brother see me before he went off to college.

I was walking down the hallway. Finn and Lexie were standing at his locker, talking as the usually would if they weren't bombarding me about stupid things. I wanted to talk to Finn at this moment, I did. But lately, Lexie never left his side anymore. I mean, I get it. It was their senior year, but give the guy a break, you know?

I walked past them, as quick I could, but it was no use. I could never sneak past either of them without people noticing me. "A.J" I sighed as I stopped in my tracks. "Can I talk to you...alone, Finn?" I looked at him and then Lexie. "Yeah. I will save you a seat at lunch today, okay?" He nodded.

"I have been a bitch to you for a couple of months."

"You're just now noticing that?"

I sighed. "I have never been good with my emotions—showing them...acting on them. I've just never been good with them in general. And I think...that with this being your senior year, it's a little hard on me. The birthday present you got me, really opened my eyes. I...um...I haven't been talking to you because I don't want the last thing I say to you before you leave for New York to be something stupid and bitchy." I looked to the ground. "For the amount of things that I have done—rather attempted to do—I should be in jail. I mean, think about it. I've beaten a couple of kids to a pulp, I tried to punch Quinn hours after she gave birth, I tried to jump Mr. Shue when he tried to give Rachel the part of Janet in Rocky Horror. Why am I not in jail yet?"

He just stood there, being as clueless as ever. I sighed and turned to lean my back against the locker. "You. You stopped me from doing all those things. You caught me in mid-air when I tried to jump Mr. Shue. You stopped me from punching Quinn after she had her baby. You are the reason why I'm not in jail yet. I'm just afraid that when you graduate...I'm not gonna be able to be myself because, when I'm myself, I'm a bitch and I'm dangerous. And I don't know what to do."

I just stood there for a moment not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at him. He wasn't moving either. "So, you weren't talking to me because you didn't want me to leave?" I nodded. "Well, wouldn't any words be better than no words at all?" I sighed. "I guess you're right. I...it was the only thing I knew to do with my emotions."

I went to leave, before my arm was grabbed. "I'm not always gonna be here. So, before I graduate, we are gonna find you a new one."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "A new what?" He smiled a little. "A new person to keep you out of jail. I'm gonna be in New York, and I kinda don't want to get a call at three in the morning and having to fly all the way back to Ohio to bail you out of jail."  I nodded and turned back to stand against the lockers. "How about Sam, A.J?"

I started to laugh, awkwardly. "Oh. Shut up. I have to get to lunch." He looked at me. "Are you gonna sit with me today? You never sit with me anymore." I sighed. "I don't sit with you—or your girlfriend—because you both enjoy PDA...way to much. I mean, it makes me sick to my stomach."

"We don't do PDA."

"Yes you do. Too much actually. I mean, it makes me sick to my stomach. Which makes me not able to eat. Which means I spend four dollars worth of food that I waste. Now, I will sit with you if you agree to tone down the PDA."

He sighed and just stared at me. "I can agree to it, but I can't promise Lexie will." I smirked. "Lexie doesn't need to agree to it, you do. And right now, I am playing the little sister card and I'm telling you that it grosses me the hell out."

I turned to walk to the cafeteria. "I'll see you at lunch." I started walking before he called to me, "Lexie didn't save you a seat!" I started walking backwards for a minute to talk to him. "I'll get myself a seat! I always do!"

"Don't hurt anybody!"

"I can't promise anything."

And off to the cafeteria I went.