bare [h.s.]

Hurt

Hazel eyes peer through crystal glass as thin lips form into a warming smile.
The door promptly opens,
and he stands tall in sweatpants that fall loosely below his hips.

"Hey baby," he greets,
stretching out a welcoming hand,
ushering for me to step
into his home.
I smile, carefully brushing past him as the heated room
comforts me.

"It's freezing out there," I announce,
rubbing at my arm
for a sense of warmth.
I make my way toward the couch,
taking a seat farthest from
where he's placed.

"I like the cold," he adds,
swiftly shutting the door on the
gusting, arctic air.
"Guess that's why we moved
from the Sunshine State to
good old Indiana."

"You're insane," I laugh uneasily,
pondering the awful decision.
With my fingernail, I scratch
minuscule markings into the
worn material that coats the sofa.
"I'd give anything to lay in the sun,
surrounded by open skies,"
I stretch my length across the
cushions, resting my head back
as he quietly observes me from
his unmoving position
by the entrance.
"The sky is the limit, isn't it?
But those skies,
they don't have a limit.
They stretch for miles,
never-ending distances until
you go so far that
you reach the stars.
Under those skies,
you don't have a limit."

The thoughts racing
through my head,
flashing images of cloudless skies,
roaring tides, and pure serenity
make my heart yearn.
My heartbeat has quickened
from the confiding,
and I pull my eyes away
from the imagined beach scene
my eyes have created on the ceiling
to glance over at him.
His charming face is contorted
into a mocking smirk,
making my inner self,
the carefree child,
shrivel in on her ideas.

"I guess that's freedom to me.
Where I want to be,
instead of this dreary place,"
I sheepishly play with my
hands, shaking the foolish
thoughts away.
"I was just making conversation.
I guess I missed you so badly today, I had to make my own paradise up in my mind."

"How frivolous of you," he grins,
sitting parallel to my outstretched body. I furrow my brows at his statement, fixing my relaxed pose and straightening my posture.

"Right," I slowly nod,
"Foolish."

No doubt, I'm wasting time.
There was only one logical reason
why I showed up at his doorstep,
mere hours after Harry had my
body pinned below his own,
delicately caressing my frame,
proving his liking toward me
in the middle of the school hallway.
I had decided once Harry chased
after his soon-to-be-ex
that it was the right choice to
visit Elijah and tell him the truth.
But now sitting inches apart,
the truth is caught in my throat.
It doesn't seem to budge after
multiple tries of preparing myself
for the outcome.

"I missed you too," he places one
palm against my thigh, rubbing
soothing circles along the denim.
"I hate not seeing you,
if I'm being honest.
But you know how my dad is,
work this, work that."

I pretend to listen,
cracking a smile every so often,
or nodding my head
in understanding.
But the loud voice erupting
in my mind is instructing me
to get this over with,
so I won't have to lead him on
any longer.

"Actually, I came here to tell you something," I interrupt his thought, touching his hand
and gently pushing it from my lap.

"Did I do something wrong?"
He frowns, placing his forearms
on his knees, leaning forward.

"No, you never could," I take in
a deep breath, my eyes fluttering
shut as I exhale past my lips.
"I think this should end."

He pushes himself to his feet,
startling me as he paces quickly
across the carpet.
He pauses suddenly,
and my hands grip tightly
on the cushions below my legs.

"I love you," he blurts, towering
over me as if he's the predator,
and I haven't got a chance in hell.

"No," I sigh,
hiding my face in my palms.
"You don't love me.
How could you?"

"Don't tell me what I feel, Sawyer,"
he grabs my wrists, and the skin
beneath his hold turns pale
as he clenches tighter.

"You're hurting me," I whimper,
but his eyes show no sign of remorse.

"I love you, and I know deep down you love me too," he says calmly,
emphasizing each word as if
ordering me to obey his command.
"Say you love me too."

I stare blankly up at him,
my hands numb from the pressure
he forces against my skin.
I refuse to speak,
biting down on the inside of my cheek as the faintest taste of blood
spreads in my mouth.
His grip eases, and he harshly
throws my wrists down.

"Hell," he curses, kicking at
the glass coffee table that resides
in the middle of the space.
The deafening sound the impact
of his bare foot makes against the
table causes me jump in my seat.

"I should go," I say, lifting myself
from the couch.
I swallow the perpetual sorrow
that drowns me inside and
stride toward the door
as Elijah unleashes his rage
on household objects.
My fist wraps around the cool,
golden doorknob as I silently
say my goodbyes to
the infuriated boy.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks,
pressing his weight against
the exit to block me from escaping.
I open my mouth to speak,
but the clicking of the door
locking on itself hushes me.

"You're not going to leave me,
are you baby?
Not after I said I love you, right?"
He glares at me, his tone contrasting the noticeable hatred that lies behind his hazel eyes.

"Elijah, please," I begin
as his hand pushes firmly
against my throat.
The air I took for granted before
is taken from me in a matter of seconds, and my fingers tug
at his clenched hand.
I gasp for the slightest glimpse
of oxygen, receiving nothing in return.
He doesn't wince the least bit when
my fingernails dig into his flesh,
drastically clawing in hopes of
his grip releasing.

"I just love you so much," he cries
out, eyes glistening with fresh tears.
"Why are you being so difficult?"

I squirm against his body,
my eyes shutting as I wait
for unconsciousness to greet me.
I become content with the idea
of death welcoming me early,
regretting my mistakes,
wishing for more time,
and cherishing the boy who
brightened my world in a short
period of knowing one another.

Elijah's hand removes itself from
my neck, and my limp body
collapses against the floor.
My eyes widen, and I open my
mouth to release rough coughs.
The first thought is to get out
of his house as quickly as possible.
My palms press against the carpet,
attempting to push my body up
with minimal strength.
A harsh fist grabs my arm,
and I thrash as Elijah begins
to pick me up.

I scream unintelligible things as
I'm lifted by the man
who intended to destroy me.
My limbs kick and push at him
as my vision is blurred through
fearful tears.

"Sawyer, stop!" Elijah yells over
my groans and screams.
I spit obscenities in his face
as he lays me on the couch,
straddling himself over my lap,
forcing me to be still
under his body.

"Why? Why are you doing this?"
I sob, and he wipes away the warm tears that stain my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it,"
he plants tiny kisses along
my face as I turn my head away.
"I never meant to hurt you.
My anger got the best of me.
Look at me!"

And finally I do,
glaring into his eyes as droplets
rolls from his cheeks and into
my hair.
The crease between my brows
fades as his chest heaves above me.
I've never seen him this upset,
and the sincerity of his emotions
makes my anger subside.

"Okay. I forgive you," I whisper
as he removes his body from mine.
I rest my head on his shoulder
and intertwine our fingers
as he cries beside me.
The thought of Harry and I being
together suddenly seems so
far away, and the longer
I hold Elijah's hand,
the farther away
Harry's lingering touch becomes.

"I love you too," I whisper.

////////////////

wow it's been a week+
and I've missed you dearly.