bare [h.s.]

Rumor Has It

I haven't been to school in weeks.
My parents made arrangements
with counselors and school officials
to send my paperwork and books
to my home, where I could work
privately to avoid any breakdowns.
For all I know, Elijah could still be
roaming the halls, looking for me.
And that scares the hell out of me.

But what I do know,
thanks to Harry informing me,
is that the whole school talks about what happened that night.

"They think they know the truth;
the entire story and it makes me sick,"
Harry rants as I try to focus on my
school work. He lays on my bed,
angrily staring up at the ceiling as
I scribble notes into my notebook.

"Do you hear them talk about me?
Personally, I mean," I ask,
setting my pencil down on my desk. Harry props himself up on his elbows and gestures for me to join him.

"They say awful things, Sawyer.
It kills me to hear them speak about
you in such a vile way. I just want to
beat the shit out of them," he says,
wrapping his arms around me when
I lay beside him.

"It's okay, Harry. We both knew everyone would talk," I calm him down, combing his hair between my fingers.

"Lauren fooled them all into thinking
you purposely arrested him because he slept with you and dumped you," he finally tells the truth of the matter.

I suddenly sit up, confused about the
situation at hand. "Why would Lauren do that? What have I done to her-?"
My eyes widen when I finally understand why she created
a false story.

"She wanted to get back at you because of me, and I'm sorry," Harry confirms my suspicions, and I jerk away from his touch.

"She made them believe I'm pathetic.
She made Elijah out to be the victim," I try to process everything, every fiber in me shaking. "I can't go back."

"I'm sorry, but I had to tell you.
I didn't want your name to become
the punchline of a joke, Sawyer.
You and I both know these people
are terrible. They'll believe anything,"
he tells me, holding my arm steady in
his grip to stop me from leaving his side. "But I promise you,
I will set things straight.
I will make Lauren stop."

"You can't tell her the truth
about that night, Harry," I decide, blinking back tears. "Everyone will think I'm a bigger joke if you tell
them I was weak enough to be
taken advantage of."

"You're not weak. You were never weak. He's the monster, and they need to know the truth!"

I push him away, standing abruptly.
He soon follows as I pace across the room, tucking my arms close to
my chest to keep from falling apart.
"You promised me you wouldn't tell.
I'm sorry you have to hear them
talk about me, but it'll pass.
One day they'll stop, and no one
will remember what happened."

"I won't let people degrade my girlfriend. Especially when she's nothing they say she is."

"If you can't handle words thrown
around, then maybe you should
find a new girlfriend.
One that isn't damaged,
one that no one hates."
Over the past few weeks,
he's become an expert at keeping me sane. But he doesn't deserve this.
He deserves to find someone who
can love him the way he needs to be loved.

"I don't want to find someone else!
Hell, I want to be with you," Harry
grabs my wrists before I can push
him away again, and he pulls me
into his chest.

"How can I force you to ignore them?
How can we carry on like everything is wonderful and nothing ever happened? How can I live with myself if I keep holding you back from being happy?"

Harry frowns suddenly, peering down at me. "What are you talking about?
I am happy, with you."

"I will never be the same.
I will never be that girl you fell for.
And I'm sorry I can't change that,"
I cry until I tire myself out.

Harry sadly laughs at me,
resting his chin upon my head
as he gently sways with me in his
arms to calm my nerves.
"You are the girl I fell for.
You will always be her."

And that night,
I fell asleep with his arms
wrapped securely around me.
I felt like everything would be okay.
But when morning came,
nothing was.