bare [h.s.]

Guilt

"Ally! Wait up!" I call to her,
running down the hall quickly
to catch her.
She doesn't acknowledge me,
but she does pick up her pace.

"Ally! You know how sorry I am. Just stop being like this."
She pauses for a moment,
turns to meet my gaze,
and marches up to my face.

"I should stop being like this?
Who the hell are you kidding?
A boy finally pays the least bit of attention to you and you leave
your best friend alone in
her time of need?
You should stop being a bitch."
I stand silently as her eyes burn holes through my head.

"Ally, I didn't mean it. Please stop raising your voice, it's not
that big of a deal." I beg, but I've only made it ten times worse.
She shakes her head,
letting out a mocking laugh.

"Not a big deal?
Have you ever wanted to
end your life, Sawyer?
It sucks to feel that way.
And my friend wasn't there to
help me through it.
So, go ahead and keep living in your play-pretend,
screw around with
your new boy-toy,
and leave me to rot alone.
Don't feel bad, honey."
I almost didn't notice the large crowd of people fill the hall
and enclose around us.
Multiple beady eyes glare at me,
all cheering for Ally's case
rather than mine,
and I feel alone with
everyone standing before me.

The room begins to spin as
Ally gives me a fake smile,
and walks away proudly,
maybe for the last time.
My heartbeat pounds loudly
in my ears and no longer
do I want to be here,
a pathetic show for all to witness
and get their entertainment from.
I guess that's what guilt feels like.