Sullies of Haunted Yesterday (Casa Fuego Series #4)

Chapter 25

Indifference 

"What?!"

Napapikit ako sa sigaw ni Therese. Napatayo si Russel sa kinauupuan niya. Sinundo ako ni Therese galing sa trabaho at dumiretso kami sa reservation sa isang restaurant.

Nababagabag akong isipin na hindi nila ito nalaman kahit anim na taon na ang lumipas kaya sinabi ko na.

"Six years had passed, and you just told us about this... now?!"

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner? No, actually, why didn't you tell us about this when you were threatened?"

Bumuntong hininga ako. "Sinabi niya na kapag nalaman ng isa sa inyo, aatras siya sa kaso-"

Hindi makapaniwala si Therese. "Emy, we could have gotten another lawyer for you! If you wanted the best, we could have given you the best!"

"You could have asked for our help... just this once," seryosong sinabi ni Russel.

"Alam ko," sambit ko. "Pero... hindi ko kaya. Gusto kong bigyan si Mama ng hustisya sa paraang alam ko... at kaya ko..."

It would have made things easier for me had I asked for help. But for someone like me, asking for help is like stripping myself bare for the world to target. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako ganito... kung bakit ang hirap dumepende, umasa, at humingi ng tulong. Kung bakit kailangan solohin ko ang lahat. Kung bakit mas lagi kong pinipili ang mahirapan.

Maybe it was the storm of my childhood that made me like this. Or maybe I'm just really a pathological self-sacrificing fool.

"I also didn't want to risk it. Magulo ang isip ko noon at..." nangapa ako sa sasabihin.

It's true, though. My mind was erratic. My grief was on the way. I felt like a single misstep would compromise my mother's justice. It's easy for me to speak this way and curse myself for all the foolish decisions when I should know better than anyone... what I was going through at that time.

Mas klaro na akong mag-isip at mas napupuna ko na ang mga mali ko noon dahil ilang taon na ang lumipas. I didn't have this clarity of mind before.

In the end, I just sighed. I ran out of excuses. Because the only reason was simple, anyway. I would do anything for my mother's justice... and at that time, Attorney Felicia was the only... best... option.

"I'm sorry. I just did what I thought was best at that time."

Natawa ako, wala nang masabi. Therese's face melted. Seryoso lang na nakatingin si Russel. Mahalaga sa kaniya si Mama kaya alam kong hindi maganda ang ibinalita ko sa kaniya. Attorney Felicia used my mother's death to her advantage... and that is unforgiveable.

Umusog si Therese palapit sa akin at niyakap ako patagilid. "I'm sorry, too. I know you were only trying your best that time. I just... I just can't believe you were going through that... all alone."

Umiling agad ako. Ayaw kong isipin nilang nagkulang sila sa akin. I don't know if I could have survived the past years without them.

"Pinili kong solohin 'yon, Therese. Ako ang nagdesisyon..."

"It's a good thing we're no longer talking to them. Kung hindi, hindi ko mapipigilan ang sarili ko." Tumikhim si Russel.

"But wait... you said she agreed to handling the case in one condition. What was the condition?"

Napakurap-kurap ako. Naghihintay sila sa sasabihin ko.

"Uh, na..." tumikhim ako. "Layuan si Eros. At na... kumbinsihin siyang h'wag nang bumalik sa Pilipinas."