Sullies of Haunted Yesterday (Casa Fuego Series #4)

Chapter 19

Haunt

"Emeraude," he warned when I pushed his chest away... completely, this time.

Matagal kaming magkayakap. Kumakalas na ako pero bawat tulak ko sa kaniya, hindi siya gumagalaw. Hanggang sa nanghihina na rin ang aking kamay at nagpapaubaya na lang sa nararamdaman.

But time has already blown up our bubble... as if it knew we were indulging ourselves too much. We could no longer recover from it if we stayed a little longer.

"We should talk more about our situation. Please, let's not leave things this way between us-"

"Hindi 'yon dapat nangyari, Eros. Huli na 'yon. H'wag ka munang susunod sa akin palabas-"

"No, we're not done yet. And I would definitely not let this be the last time. Stay and we'll talk."

Umiling ako at muli siyang tinulak nang lumapit sa akin.

"You like me, Emeraude. I don't understand why we have to sacrifice our feelings for each other. Why can't we be selfish this once?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit ko ginagawa ito? Samantalang nanggaling mismo sa bibig niya na ayaw na niyang umalis papuntang Canada para sa aming dalawa? Na pupwede siyang manatili para sa akin? O hindi niya ba naririnig ang sarili niya?

Pwes ako, oo! I hear him clearly – and it's a ridiculous idea. It is something that he will regret later... when he realized he should have fulfilled his long time promise to himself.

Bumaba ako sa lamesa. Napahawak siya sa baywang ko bilang suporta. Bumuntong hininga siya. Isa ito sa mga pagkakataong hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang maging pasensyado sa akin.

Inayos ko ang sarili ko habang si Eros ay panay ang buntong hininga sa gilid ko. Masuyo niyang hawak ang siko ko pero lumayo ako sa kaniya. Nagtama ang tingin naming dalawa. Nangungulila agad ang mga mata niya kahit nasa harap pa niya ako, samantalang ang akin ay seryoso na, kahit pa sa kalooban ko... nangungulila na rin ako sa kaniya.

"Emeraude, please. Mama's treatment will start soon. I'll have to leave and I need us to sort this out properly-"

Nasa may double doors na ako nang nilingon siya. Nakasunod siya sa akin. Nagbabanta ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Mukha siyang handang handa na suwayin ang gusto kong mangyari... kaya kahit hindi ko gustong sabihin ito, ito na lang ang tanging paraan.

"Hindi mo ba ako naisip, Eros?"

His brows furrowed as he looked down longingly at me.

"Kung anong iisipin ng iba sa akin? Nakatakda ka kay Samuela. Kaibigan ko si Samuela. Tapos magiging tayong dalawa?"

Nagseryoso ang mukha niya. My heart dropped when I realized how lethal my words were to his heart. Because I know damn well that he thought about this over and over again in his head. It's just that his feelings for me were much stronger... were much more important. In the end, his feelings for me prevailed... because for him, it was what mattered the most.

But I couldn't do the same. I couldn't overlook all the other circumstances and love him selfishly. Especially when one of those was him being ready to sacrifice his dreams for me.

"Sisisihin nila ako. Tatatak sa isipan nila na ako ang dahilan kung bakit kayo naghiwalay... at ayaw ko ng ganoon. Why can't we be selfish this once? Hindi mo manlang ba ako naiisip?"

His lips parted. He looked alarmed. He tried to reach for my elbows but I stepped back. He didn't insist on touching me, as if he was afraid he'd tick the bomb inside me.