Sullies of Haunted Yesterday (Casa Fuego Series #4)

Chapter 27

Come Home 

I spent a whole night thinking about what happened earlier today... about him being in the country after so many years refusing to come home... about my feelings... and his cold reception.

About everything.

But most importantly, I tried to dissect my feelings. Ngayong nasa Pilipinas siya at kung magkita man kami ulit, anong gagawin ko? Ano ba ang gusto kong mangyari?

I cannot imagine ridiculing myself in front of him again. Pero alam ko ring hindi ko kayang pigilan ang kagustuhang makita siya. Sa mga nagdaang taon, nangungulila ako sa kaniya. Umabot ako sa puntong binali ko ang sinabi ko noon na wala akong pagsisisihan sa mga ginawa ko para sa hustisya ni Mama. Dahil ang totoo, nagsisisi akong pinakawalan ko siya.

I thought I felt that way just because I was lonely. But now that he's here, every fiber in my body yearns for him, as if they know that he's just around and possibly within my reach if I'd do something.

If we see each other again, what do I do? What exactly do I want to happen?

What am I even expecting from him... when he's clearly moved on with a life that no longer includes me?

"Really?! He said that? How cold hearted!"

Inilingan ko si Therese. Narito siya sa aking apartment, may dalang pagkain. She removed her blazer and sat casually on the chair in front of my desk. May mga tinatapos akong dokumento para sa firm ko.

Honestly, I understand his indifference towards me. We didn't part ways amicably. I pushed him away and made him swear not to come back. And he was true to his words. Every single word... when he said I didn't have to worry... because he would not come home.

Anim na taon ang lumipas at paniguradong marami kaming pinagdaanan na hindi alam ng isa't isa. I understand if he's changed, because I, for one, changed a lot, too.

"And you weren't offended? I've been rejected so many times before and I always felt furious! Yet you're fine with it?"

"Naiintindihan ko siya, Therese. Gaya ng kwento ko sa inyo, sinabi ko sa kaniya na h'wag nang bumalik. At... anim na taon ang nakalipas. Technically, we don't know each other anymore. It's understandable that he's... distant."

Lumunok ako.

Umawang ang labi ni Therese habang nakikinig sa akin. Her hair is in a high ponytail, making her look chic in her Prada dress.

"Pero ako yata ang naoffend! I noticed how much he's changed! I've talked to him over the phone for the past years, but I never realized he's changed! Ngayong umuwi siya, doon ko lang napansin! He was warm to me when we talked during my engagement party!"

Therese is his family. Of course, he'd warm up to her. We're not close... so he's distant from me. I understand his reception because just like me, I don't easily give myself away to people I'm not close with. Or at least, to people I'm no longer in connection with.

"People change. He's changed. And that's... okay."

Napakurapkurap siya. "But he could be a little cordial to you, you know! Based on your stories, it seems he's completely trying to dismiss you!"

"Naiintindihan ko, Therese. Kasalanan ko kung bakit ganito ang pakikitungo niya sa akin."

Kumunot ang noo niya at mataman akong tinignan. Her eyes asked me unspoken questions. But she pursed her lips and sighed.

She continued eating her lunch while I finished some work. Dahil doon ay binuksan ko na rin ang dala niyang pagkain para sa akin at sabay na kaming kumain. Nang umalis siya ay bumalik naman ako sa trabaho.