Fate is a fighter

Chapter 4 - old friends

"You knew the entire bloody time that he would be there?" I shouted at Tabs and Noah the next morning, because I didn't catch them last night. "And you didn't bloody tell me?!"

"If we told you, you wouldn't have gone, you wouldn't have bumped into them, and we wouldn't be having a reunion lunch tomorrow!" exclaimed Noah.

"Don't try and make this okay!" I shouted at him. "How did you even know what he was up to? And you made me wear that bloody necklace on purpose!"

"Aves, even though you blocked him out of your life, none of us did, I see him on Instagram all the time," Tabs admitted. "And the necklace was a good touch!"

"I am so angry at you two, so angry that I will not be helping with lunch."

"You are such a drama queen," Tabs complained, throwing a slice of toast as my head, getting crumbs in my hair.

"You are also not telling me what I'm wearing today," I stated.

"No!" they both complained in unison.

"Well, you should've thought about that," I flicked my hair, grabbed the toast, and headed back into my room.

I had no idea how today's lunch was going to go, but I decided to try and forget about it all, and spend the morning of my Sunday relaxing, at least. I ran myself a bubble bath, and put on a clay face mask. Once the bath was filled, I lowered myself into the warm bubbly water, grabbed my book, and began to read. I stayed in the bath until I was shrivelled like a prune, then got out and washed the facemask off my face.

I hadn't heard from the double trouble in a while, but I thought nothing of it, I just guessed after me kind of shouting at them at breakfast they thought it was probably best to leave me alone for a bit, and it really was for the best.

My favourite thing to do after a shower or a bath, if I'm not in a rush, is to lie on my bed, in my towel, and air dry, with a lit candle, whilst reading my book, and so that is exactly what I did, until Tabs burst through the door. She was clearly dressed for the lunch, but she also had an apron tied around her, and she looked pissed. "I am working my ass off in the kitchen and you are just here reading! You aren't even ready," she said in a semi-loud voice, but very stern, which had Noah running into the door announcing that he would get me ready.

Due to the fact that I couldn't really be bothered to have a huge argument with Noah about clothes, I let him choose my outfit. He actually ended up choosing one of my favourite dresses of all time, which was a really cute ruched mini dress with a cool abstract print in beautiful greens and blues. Of course, he probably chose it because it hugged my curves, and my ex-boyfriend was going to be there, and the two of them both loved Jordan. I threw on some black trainers with it, and some earrings, and then left my hair down.

Just as I was finishing my makeup, the doorbell rang, and I heard the voices of the four guests, who I assumed all met outside or something and came in at the same time. I heard my name being called by Tabs and I shouted that I would be there in a minute.

Fuck. This was it. Now or never, I guess. I mean, it was just one lunch with old friends, one of them just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart into a million tiny pieces, and nothing has ever been the same since. Pull it together. Okay. Let's do this.

I put my hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it, taking a deep breath. I headed down the corridor and into the large open plan kitchen, dining and living area. I was right, they were all there. I felt Jordan's gaze on me, but I chose to avoid it, because I knew I wouldn't be able to pull my eyes away from his if we actually locked eyes again. Erin hopped over and gave me a huge hug, telling me how much she missed me. Then I hugged Edward, who was next to her. God, now I had to hug Grace, which was fine, but I couldn't hug everyone and not Jordan, so I had to hug Jordan. I avoided his eyes, which I knew were looking at me, as I kind of gave him an awkward half hug. We lingered there for a moment or two, before I broke away.

"I didn't know Jordan and Grace would be here," Edward mentioned. We all sat down in the sofa area, as lunch wasn't quite ready yet. Noah grabbed some bowls of crisps and set them on the coffee table, as I started to open a bottle of red wine.

"Are you two together again?" Erin asked, raising her eyebrows at me, and looking between Jordan and I, who yes, just so happened to be sitting next to me.

"No," we both said at the same time, and Erin's face fell slightly. I tensed up, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Jordan was kind of tensing up too. God, this was awkward.

"I happened to be at his match yesterday, I didn't even realise he was fighting, but I bumped into Grace and then Jordan was there, and I invited them," I explained, whilst pouring wine into glasses and handing them around.

"Oh yeah, Jord, how's the boxing going?" Noah asked, thankfully moving the conversation swiftly off me and Jordan, onto just Jordan.

After a bit of catching up on the sofas, Tabs announced that lunch was served, and everyone sat down at the dining table. Of course, Jordan sat opposite me, which I don't know if he intended to, or whether there was some kind of agreement with everyone else that they would take up all of the seats so the only place that Jordan could be was opposite me. Based on some of their smirks, I think it was their plan. My friends are so annoying. They all love Jordan, and they love me, and they loved Jordan and I together, because we were good, we were so good, but we ended badly, and I just didn't know if I was ready to jump back into something with him. God, I didn't even know if he wanted me, I mean, this is the second time I've seen him in four years, maybe he's a weirdo now.

After everyone was a little wine tipsy, the conversation kind of flowed pretty well, and we spoke about all sorts, and laughed about all sorts. It all felt kind of normal, like it once did when we were back in school. Even Jordan and I exchanged some words, had a laugh about a couple of things, and it was all pretty civil.

There was one point where our eyes did meet, or at least, I lifted my eyes to look up at him, because he hadn't really looked further than me for most of the meal. I gave him a smile, and he gave me one back, and it was nice.

Inevitably, being sat opposite eachother, meant our feet would brush against eachother. There was even a point when I accidentally kicked him. For one moment, or two, though, our legs, well the lower part of my leg and somewhere on his leg, kind of touched, and I didn't recoil straight away, and neither did he. That was the point when I lifted my eyes to look at his. I don't know what that moment was, whether he felt the electricity that seemed to run from my skin to his, or whether he just saw me as his annoying ex-girlfriend who was touching his leg weirdly under the table and he didn't have enough room to move away. Either way, I could feel every single bandage I had used to try and mend my broken heart rip away, and I remembered we weren't together, we weren't like Erin and Edward, who had spent the last few years together, we weren't a picture perfect romance, and I was alone, sad, and heartbroken because this man in front of me, who I don't think I ever actually got over, wasn't mine. It sucked.

Maybe this was the closure that I needed and never actually got though. Maybe being able to see him moved on and happy without me would be the final piece of the puzzle to help me move on with my own life, maybe it would make me able to forget about him, so I can actually find someone that will love me unconditionally, who I will love unconditionally. Maybe instead of me having to put bandages on my broken heart, it would miraculously fit back together once I got over him. Or maybe I was delusional.

Yes, fate brought this fighter back into my life so that I could get the closure I needed and so that I could move on. That's the only explanation for how we ran into eachother.

Fuck. It's been four years, yet it feels like four months or something, and everything just seems normal, what is going on?

***

1565 words

04/01/2021