Second Chance (Anthony Rizzo)

(29) All Along

Jessica

Today was the day. I pull on my favorite navy blue dress with gold accents and my only pair of heels I own. I curl my short brown hair and apply my makeup slowly so I don't mess it up. Once I was sure I looked good I go out to meet Anthony at the cafe. He says he has something nice planed for us and he always does. I couldn't wait to see what he had in mind for us today.

"Wow" he smiles as I walk up to him. "Looking as beautiful as ever. Damn, just look at you" he sighs making me blush.

"Thank you. You're looking mighty handsome yourself" I insist as I check him out too.

"You ready" he asks.

"Ready for what, exactly" I wonder.

"We are going to the planetarium for a special showing. I rented the whole place out just for us" he claims.

"You don't have to do all of that" I insist

"But I wanted to" he smiles. Hard to argue with him when he looks that good.

So we walk the short distance over to the planetarium. It was as empty as I have ever seen it. So we sit where we always sit and they start the show. I look up at the sky and let out a sigh, what I would do to be a star up there.

About halfway through I feel Anthony's hand slip in mine as I pull him close. I look up and see all those stars in his eyes and it made my heart race. He smiles down at me and I knew I was ready to risk everything, and I mean everything, to tell this man that I loved him.

"Anthony" I say softly.

"Yeah baby" he answers.

I feel the spit get stuck in my throat as all the words I wanted to stay won't come out. I felt like my heart was gonna stop as he waited for me to say something, anything. "I love you" I finally say.

He suddenly sits up as his eyes stay on me. You would have through that I just told him I ran over his dog. "I can't do this" he whispers.

"What" I ask. "I thought... I thought you felt the same what" I say softly.

"No baby, that's not what I mean. I.. I love you too. I love you more than you know it's just, I messed up" he tries.

"You messed up because you love me" I question.

"No! That's not it at all. It's just... god I fucked this up" he grunts.

"What's wrong" I ask him. "You love me and I love you, isn't that enough?"

"It's so so much more than that" he tells me.

"What do you mean" I ask.

"Come with me" he says. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the theatre where it was a lot brighter. He sits me on a bench in the hallway as he paces in front of me.

"Did I do something wrong" I ask softly.

He stops right in front of me as he looks down at me. He squats down as he placed his hands on my knees.

"I need you to know before I tell you all of this that this girl, who is sitting right here in front of me, is the love of my life. And I don't doubt that in the slightest. I need you to know that I fell in love with you, this you, harder than I've ever fallen before and nothing I am about to say changes that" he promises.

"Anthony I don't get it" I admit.

He slowly closes his eyes and when he opens them again there was tears there. His hands were shaking as he choked back the tears.

"You and I met back in September of 2012. I was just a rookie and you were just out of college. You lived in the south side of Chicago in a run down apartment you loved so much because you paid for it yourself. Our paths first crossed when you interned with the Cubs as a part of the management team. It was your first real job and you love it, though baseball was never your thing.

But I ran into you before a game and we hit it off. You were shy but so brilliant, you stuck out even though you were quiet. After a while we started dating and we fell in love. It wasn't like this time around but it was just as beautiful. We were just kids in the city doing what we loved. You helped me get my foundation on its feet, everything you see now wasn't possible without you. You and my parents made it so we have helped dozens of families pay for treatment and find cures.

Then in October of 2014 I proposed to you. You said yes and we started to plan a life together. We were going to find a house and start a family. We were the happiest people in the world.

And it all stopped when you got hurt earlier this year. You woke up and had no memory of me, the foundation, our life. I stood in your hospital room and you looked at me and had not a single idea who I was, who we were.

So I made the decision to let you heal on your own. To let you make your own decision of what you want to do with you life now instead of expecting you to love me the way you did. And it was so hard to stand by and watch you struggle, watch you fight. I was always there for you, you just didn't know.

That's how you found me in the cafe. We spent so many morning there together I was hoping your heart would lead you back there. And it did. And you found me again and you fell in love with me again and that love is true. There is no arguing that the love is true. But it's not what you think it is either" he explains.

I stand up from the bench as his hands slide off of me. My eyelids get heavy as they wanted to close and never open again.

"It was you" I whisper. "I was engaged to you. I was that girl you told me that you loved so much but you lost her. This whole time... this entire time you knew everything about me and I had to struggle to find out who I was. I- I can't believe this" I yell.

"Jessie I-" he starts.

"Don't" I tell him. "I don't even know what to say to you. This whole time I knew something was off. I figured you listened to me and that's how you were able to figure me out so quickly. How you knew all the places in the city I liked and all the things I wanted to try. It wasn't because you love me it's because you loved me" I accuse.

"Jessica I love who you are now, more than I have loved anything before. I would never lie to you about that, you know I wouldn't" he tries.

"I don't know what to believe right now. How am I supposed to believe a word you say when the last four months of my life I have been lied to" I ask.

"I never meant to hurt you Jess. Everything I did was to keep you happy and to keep you near. I lost everything when I lost you and when you walked up to me that morning I knew I was going to do everything in my power not to lose you again.

And falling in love for the second time with the same person was magical. I don't regret a single moment of our time together. Do I wish I told you earlier, absolutely. But you fell in love with me not because we were once engaged but you saw in me something worth fighting for twice over. And I fell in love with this you... not hoping you would be the girl you used to be" he says. He grabs my hands as he pulls me close. "Please. You have to believe me" he begs.

"I believe you Anthony. I just... I don't know what to think. I got the chance to start over and all it's been is lies. And not the love I feel or what I think about you, but the way I think about everything. I need some time. I'm sorry" I whisper as I step out of his grasp.

"Jessie please" he begs.

I turn the ring on my left ring finger as I stopped in my tracks. "You trusted me to come back to you after I figured some things out once already. I need you to trust me to do that again" I say.

"Okay" he whispers as a tear hits his cheek. I walk over and wipe it away before placing a soft kiss on his nose. "I love you Jess" he reminds me.

"I love you too" I smile.