Second Chance (Anthony Rizzo)

(35) The Usual

Jessica

After splitting the games in St. Louis the boys come home with a bunch of momentum. They win the first game at home and if they win one more they will go on to the NLCS, a place they haven't been in a really really long time. I've really been enjoying my time as a baseball girlfriend, the other girls have brought me in and showed me the ways. I didn't feel so bad because only a few girls knew me before the accident so I've made a lot of new friends as well as rekindling old friendships too. We always have a good time together and it was a lot of fun running around PNC Park and Busch stadium with them.

But I was ready to be back in Chicago. That was the longest I've been from Illinois since the accident and I was missing a few parts of my life I could expect. So we get back and I settle back in at home.

I roll over in bed and grab for Anthony before pulling him into me. He rolls over and grabs my face before placing kisses all over it making me giggle.

"You're getting stubble" I accuse as I hold his face.

"I was gonna shave today" he admits.

"I kinda like it" I say as he raises his eyebrow at me.

"You do" he asks.

"Yeah. I don't know what you would look like with a beard but I like the stubble, it's cute" I insist.

"Then maybe I'll keep it a little while longer" he claims.

We lay in bed for a few more minutes before my stomach starts to grumble. After telling Anthony for the tenth time I didn't feel like making breakfast he agrees to accompany me to the cafe.

We walk in hand in hand and I notice they were a little more busy than usual. But the nice waitress finds us a table before sitting us down.

"The usuals" the lady asks.

"Yeah, that would be great. Thank you Lauren" Anthony smiles.

She walks away and I let out a sigh. I tap my finger on the table as I watch it closely. "Baby what's wrong" he wonders.

"Nothings wrong" I try as I send him a sad smile.

"Don't do this. Don't block me out" he begs.

"I'm not trying to. I just... don't understand" I say softly.

"Don't understand what" he questions.

"That's the thing. I don't really understand what I don't yet understand. You say get me my usual and I don't even know what that is. People try to joke with me but half the time I don't understand the punch line. I'm living here and now but it's like I fast forwarded five years of my life and I have a basic idea of what happened but things come up and I'm not sure what I do know and what I don't know" I try to explain.

"I get it" he tells me and I look up from the table. "We've tried so hard to protect you from something like this from happening but it's inevitable. As you move along things like this will come up. But if you don't like what your usual used to be then we can change it. If you don't get a joke don't feel bad, they make up new words every day and you'll never be able to keep up.

Everything you could possibly need is in you. It always has been" he promises me.

I let out a sigh as I nod my head. He was right, he was always right. It's hard not to let these things get to me but Anthony's right, I can't let it get me down. What I needed most was already in me and I have to rely on that.

The nice lady I now know as Lauren brings us our food and I take no time digging in. This isn't usually what I get when I came here with my sister but it was even better. No wonder I got this every time I came here before. I finish three glasses of orange juice and my omelet before I was finally full. Once we were done Anthony goes to pay but gets stopped.

"Boss man says it's on the house, you just have to win tonight" Lauren says as Anthony laughs.

"I'll try my best" he chuckles.

"And it's really nice to have you around again Jess. I hope to see you again" she claims as she turns to me and I smile.

"If you guys keep making food like this I don't think I have a choice" I assure her.

We leave her a nice tip before walking back to the apartment. Anthony was quite the hot commodity right now with the playoffs. Maybe he wasn't shooting balls to the moon like Kyle was or shoving absolute heat like Jake was. But he was the leader of this team. Been here the longest and does so much not just for the Cubs but the whole community. The team was built around him and he won't admit it, but everyone knew. He might not win the individual awards but ask any guy on the team, he was the most important part.

I go through my social media just scrolling to see what's up. It's 2015 and technology is far more advanced than I remember it to be. But I had Instagram and Twitter back in the day. Of course Facebook but I only used that to stay in contact with my family. This time around I followed some musical artists and of course my friends and the guys in the team.

I see Jess posted a picture of us all from last nights game in our matching jackets and I smile big. For many, many reasons my accounts were all private. My story is no secret, especially now that I know and the world knows. But maybe one day I'll go off private. Until then I enjoy looking at the pictures we have together from the post season.

The last picture she posted was of just her and I. We were the Jessica's so naturally I was drawn to her. I'm a little older than her but everyone else had families and was married, she was engaged and wasn't expecting kids for a while so I was hoping that she understood my situation a little more than the others. And she was a really cool girl, I know Anthony is tight with Kris so we hung out more often than the rest. I'm lucky to have people like her to make these memories with.

I comment a "love you" and keep my scrolling. I didn't follow too many people for I was still finding out who I wanted to believe in. But for now everything I know will have to be enough, antd everything I have to learn will have to wait.