The unrestrained

A childhood memory

After our wedding, we went for a trip a few days later. While we are walking through the street of Tanzhou he asked, "Lan Zhan, do you remember about that time we sat with Sizhui and the rest and discussed about the Lady Florist."

I nodded, "Yes."

He smiled. We then walked further. Suddenly he saw a vendor selling toys. He went and picked something. I came forward and saw what it was. It was a rattle drum.

He played with it and said, "when I was a child I really like to play with it. Let's buy it?"

I smiled, "yeah."

I gave a silver to the vendor and he smiled.

The little tap, tap sound of the rattle drum made me remind something from my child hood. I was with my mother. She was walking towards me, hands behind her back. Suddenly she showed me something. It was a rattle drum. I asked, "muqin, is this for me? what is that?"

She nodded, "A rattle drum. Yes. You like it?"

I smiled. When I saw mother playing with it I really love it. "I also want to play."

She laughed, "it is yours. I buy this toy especially for you. Wangji"

She then pick me up and tweaked my nose. She once told me that she loves to tweak my nose. I was her little munchkin. I laughed and kissed her cheek. I played with the drum in her arms. Little 'tap, tap, sounds were heard. She smiled and stroked my head.

That was the first and last gift she gave it to me. I always carried that rattle drum wherever I go. I got that rattle drum when I was three or four.

One day I was with my brother and shufu in Yiling. This was when I was seven or eight. It was after my mother's death. My mother died when I was six. They were at a shop to buy something. Suddenly I got curious about why the people were walking in the street. It made me to went outside. I walked for a while playing with my rattle drum. Suddenly on the farthest corner of a street, I saw little boy who was a same age as me dressed in rags making little straw figures. It was snowing and he was shivering. He was mumbling something like, "A die, A niang and me." I came towards him and gave him the rattle drum, "you want?"

He was surprised. "Huh?"

After he understood that I was harmless the boy give me a big bright smile. He was very thin. He haven't eaten for many days. He had bruises and blisters all over his arms and legs. On the other side there are lots of dogs. I played with him and he liked the rattle drum. I asked, "you like it?"

He nodded. "My muqin gave it to me." I said.

Hearing the word 'muqin' he grew sad. I asked, "what happened?"

He said, "my A die and A niang is gone."

I looked down. After a pause I said, "my muqin is also gone. I miss her. You can take the rattle drum if you like."

He was surprised, "really?"

I nodded, "mn. Well I have to go now my shufu is looking for me."

He grew sad. But didn't say no to my answer. He smiled brightly and waved at me, "goodbye, I hope we will meet again some day."

I smiled at him and said goodbye. Then I walked away from that place. Meanwhile brother and shufu were looking for me suddenly saw that I was coming my brother came towards me, "Wangji, where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you. Where is your rattle drum?"

I said, "I gave it to a boy on the farthest corner of the street. He is so poor and has no one to play with." My face grew sad.

Brother smiled, "oh. Then you two had a conversation."

I nodded, "his parents are gone."

My brother felt sorry, "poor thing. How unfortunate.."

I smiled, "he is so lonely but there was a bright smile in his face."

Brother smiled, "I hope that child will get adopted into a new family. Come shufu is waiting for us."

I nodded and walked with brother. After that I never saw that boy ever again.

While I was thinking about this Wei Ying snapped his fingers at me. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan."

I came back to senses. "Huh? What is it?"

Wei Ying spoke, "what are you thinking?"

I said, "nothing. I was remembering something from my childhood."

He laughed, "hm? What is it?"

I replied, "seeing this rattle drum it reminds me of my mother's gift. This rattle drum looks exactly the same. I always loved to play with it."

He smiled. "That must've been special."

I nodded, "I gave it to a boy when I was a child."

His eyes widened. "What a co incidence! I too also got this from a little boy when I was a child."

I asked, "Wei Ying, why are you afraid of dogs?"

He looked at me. His smile faded. Oh I shouldn't have asked that. I looked down.

He smiled, "no need to be sad, I'll tell you. I had forgotten about much of my early years of wandering on the streets. The only things I still remember was the terror I felt as I was chased by dogs and the slicing pain of teeth and claws digging into my flesh. The fear that had been planted deep within my heart couldn't be overcome or eased no matter how much I tried. I was taken home by Jiang shu shu when I was nine. My shijie said that, after Jiang shu shu heard of the news that my parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found me in Yiling. The first time we met, I was kneeling on the ground, eating the fruit peels that somebody tossed on the ground. Yiling's winter and spring were quite cold, yet I only wore thin layers. My knees were already tattered, and on my feet were two different shoes that didn't fit at all. As I was looking down, searching for fruit peels, Jiang shu shu called me. I still remembered that there was a "Ying" in my name, so I lifted my head.

Jiang shu shu fed me a piece of melon, and I let Jiang shu shu carry me back. Back then, Jiang Cheng was also around eight or nine. He kept a few puppies to play with him in Lotus Pier. Finding out that I was extremely scared of dogs, Jiang shu shu suggested for Jiang Cheng to send the dogs away. Jiang Cheng was really unwilling. After throwing a tantrum of breaking things, pouting, and bawling his eyes out, he finally sent the dogs away.

Although, because of this, he held hostility toward me for a long time, after the two of us grew familiar, we had begun to cause mischief together. Whenever I ran into dogs, Jiang Cheng would always chase them away, then have a good laugh at me, who jumped onto a tree."

I nodded, "mn."

He smiled, "now that you are here. I'm not afraid."

Now I understood. Connecting all those of my childhood with his story the boy I met at Yiling! It was you all along. Wei Ying asked, "Lan Zhan, what happened to you? What are you thinking?"

I asked, "it was you isn't it?"

He was confused, "huh?"

I said, "you forgot? I gave that that drum to you!"

Wei Ying became surprised, "Lan Zhan that was you?" He understood.

I nodded. I give out a stifled laugh. He said after a pause, "we are really destined together, right."

I smiled, "Yes."

*I really loved that ending scene from season 2 of the dongua where both of them met each other when they were kids😊😭*