The unrestrained

13 years of waiting

The seasons changed. I carry on with my responsibilities and I continued to play soul inquiry. Shufu and brother no longer came to give me any advices. They understand that how depressed I am. However while hearing brother's comforting words I could still hope that he will come back for me. He couldn't leave me just like that.

Sometimes when I play inquiry in my room Sizhui watches me and ask what I was doing. He always wants to learn new things. I asked one day if he want to study zither music including the soul inquiry. Sizhui quickly agreed. So I reached him how to play Soul Inquiry. He is growing up. Everyone in the Lan sect love him alot. He became a model to the disciples. Sometimes I still couldn't believe that he was the same boy who hugged my leg on that day in Yiling. In my heart I subconsciously became his father and I consider him as my own son.

Sizhui had made many friends in his class. One of them was Lan Jingyi. Jingyi admires me alot. He considered me as his role model. He reminds me of you, Wei Ying. He was very talkative. I'm glad that Sizhui has someone of his age to play with.

I go out for my night hunts very often after my wounds on back were healed. It is after three years later I could actually go out for my night hunts. My three years of confinement is over. I continued my legacy, I appear where chaos is, protect the people from danger and evil. At the same time I search for his presence. My tears had dried up. But deep inside my heart I was still waiting for him to come back.

During my night hunts often I visited many places. I visited the Xuanwu cave. It's been years since I came here to mount Muxi. There I played inquiry.

"Wei Ying, did you recognise this place? It's the Xuanwu cave. The same place where we killed the Xuanwu of slaughter. Do you remember that time I sang a song for you here? You said that you like it and you asked for it's name. The name is Wangxian. A combination of our names "Wang" and "Xian". When you play the flute notes of our song at Baifeng Shan I couldn't help but to kiss you while you were blindfolded."

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"Wei Ying, are you there? Where are you? Can you hear me?"

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"I will wait for you to come back."

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There was still no response. Sometimes when I play my eyes were in tears. Still I continued to play. I calm down myself to read books. While reading the book I saw the peony flower I used it as a book mark. I remember that day when he tossed it to me. We both parted our ways because of a thank you. At that time I realised each time when we parted, our next encounters would become worse. Now I really hate that word "thank you."

I started teaching juniors in the class. Since many disciples are afraid of me, they wouldn't dare to distract themselves. But sometimes while teaching I reminisce the days when he was here in the class. Murmuring, tossing crumbled papers, those scoldings from my shufu. It all seems happened like yesterday. Sometimes I could hear his bright, unrestrained laughter echoed on the walls.

"Wei Ying, come back to me. I love you so much. Do you love me?"

Sometimes when I miss him I held that portrait of mine which is drawn by him close to my heart and cried in sorrow. I still keep it like a treasure. Every memory of him I keep it like a treasure.

I visited Yunmeng. While walking through the street I saw the liquor where he tossed that peony at me. Out there people where still celebrating his death and also complaining about Jiang wanyin's atrocities. Jiang wanyin captured people who are practicing demonic cultivation and tortured them. He whipped them using his zidian which his mother gave to him. Jiang gunya and Jin Zixuan's son Jin Ling is growing up. Sometimes he often visited lotus cove to see his uncle. My brother often visited Jinlintai for discussion conferences. When brother call me to accompany him, I always say no. I really lost my mind to step in that place. Because of their hunger to be the chief cultivation sect. Wei Ying is right, the Lanling Jin sect is just like the second version of the Qishan Wen sect.

I heard from brother about Jin Ling. He is growing up and now started his cultivation lessons just like Sizhui. Despite of the loss of his parents, children in the Lanling Jin sect bully him. Sometimes he didn't complain. Even though Jiang wanyin and Jin Guangyao is raising him, Jin Ling surely has the characteristics of his mother and Wei Ying.

"Wei Ying, Jin Ling is growing up. In someway he inherited some of your character."

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"In my dreams I met you, you always shout my name. Sometimes my dreams are filled with your laughter and I was in sorrow. Then you disappear like a gust of wind. "

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"I looked for you everywhere, but I couldn't find you. Sometimes in my dreams you were crying. My heart breaks when I saw you in pain, when I wake up suddenly in midnight.

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"Wei Ying, I really miss you so much. I have sent you my affection in the words of zither."

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"Wei Ying the rabbits in cloud recesses are multiplying. Sizhui loves to play with them. Rabbits are really cute. I feed them, pet them and even talk with them."

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"If you come back to me, I'll drink with you, I want to night hunt with you for the rest of my life. Wherever you want to go, I'll take you there. I won't allow anyone to hurt you. But please come back."

I visited Baifeng Shan. That day I shouldn't have kissed him in the first but I couldn't help. I played inquiry sitting under the tree where I kissed him. Even though it's a forest but I still remember this tree.

"Wei Ying, this is the tree where you sat down blindfolded...let me tell you a secret...it was me...I was the one who kissed you fiercely...I knew I was wrong.... I'm sorry...you asked me whether I have a chance to kiss someone...yes I kissed you... because I couldn't help."

I talked and asked like this for many years. In these years, I heard about the death of Chifengzun. He was died in public due to Qi deviation. Most of the sect leaders in the Qinghe Nie sect died due to Qi deviation. Because they are cultivating using sabers not swords. The resentful energy from the sabers is very high. My brother was devastated about the death of Chifengzun. Afterall, they were sworn brothers.

I played inquiry for like thirteen years. Time change according to the circumstances. But me, I'm still the same waiting for his answer. Asking, asking, asking again and again to come back at least once.