Spider Girl

26

⚠️TW: panic attack⚠️ I'll warn you when it starts, so please read until you see the TW

Josie's POV

"Peter!" I yelled as he fell down to the next floor. I shot my webs at the drones before I was sucked into an illusion. It was just black all around.

"You seem like a nice girl." A voice said.  "Such a shame Peter brought you into this, now I have to kill you."

"I won't let you do that! Stop hiding you coward! Innocent people died just so you could get some sort of fame!"

"I guess we're doing this the hard way." The voice said. "You should have told Peter you couldn't help him. You should have gone on that walk with Pretty boy Brad."

"How do you know that?!" I demanded.

"I know more than you think I do. I know you're still in love with Peter. Speaking of..."

"Josie! Help!" Peter yelled out.

"Hang on! I'm coming!" I yelled as I ran through the hall. "Peter!" I said barging through the door. When I walked through the door I was on a fire escape. I know this to scene too well.

"You're just as worthless as your dad always said. You probably drove him to kill himself. You don't deserve anyone's love." Peter yelled at me.

"No. You aren't my Peter. You aren't the real Peter." I said backing up.

"He's just saying what you already know and what everyone's been thinking." The voice said.

I ran into a room and it started to get tighter. No. No. No. This cannot be happening.

"Be grateful Steve can't see you now." The room turned into mirrors and all I could do was look at myself in disgust. "Look at how disappointed he'd be in you. No wonder Peter broke up with you. He finally realized you were never a deserving candidate for his love."

"Stop it! Shut up!" I yelled.

"Everyone who's ever loved you will eventually leave you! Your mother, your father, Peter, Tony, Natasha, it's only a matter of time until Steve leaves you too! Be grateful I'll end you here!"

"No! I-I," tears fell down my face as I slowly backed up. I lost my footing and fell down floors and floors before hitting the ground and everything turned black.

"AHH!" I yelled waking up. I sat up with a start to find myself outside the building on the ground. I saw some blood on my head and the ground. Great. "JACK!? JACK call Happy! Please!"

"Calling Happy." JACK said.

"Hello?" Happy asked picking up the phone.

"Happy! I really need help. Something happened with me and Peter and I need you to pick me up. I'm in Berlin." I begged him.

"Alright, alright, I'm on my way right now."

"Thank you so much."

...

I got on the jet and went straight to the bathroom. I started to cry remembering everything Beck said to me. Remembering how he said everyone would leave me and especially how I drove my father to kill himself. I couldn't stop crying. No matter what I did.

I told Happy everything that happened. I told him about how Beck told me I drove my father to kill himself and how everyone who'd love me would leave me. He told me that it was all lies, but I went to the bathroom and cried for a while.

"Don't tell me to relax, Happy!" I heard Peter yell. "How can I relax when I messed up so bad!? I trusted Beck! Right!? I thought he was my friend so I gave him the only thing that Mr Stark left behind for me. Not only did I do that, I dragged Josie into this to! And now I don't know where she is, Beck's gonna kill my friends, and half of Europe, so please, do not tell me to relax!" I should go out of the bathroom, let him know I'm ok. "I'm sorry Happy, I shouldn't have shouted. I just really miss him." Maybe I should give Happy a few minutes.

"Yeah, I miss him to." Happy said.

"Everywhere I go, I see his face. And the whole world is asking who's gonna be the next Iron Man, I don't know if that's me, Happy, I'm not Iron Man."

"You're not Iron Man. You're never gonna be Iron Man." Wow, great pep talk, Happy. Ladies and gentlemen, Happy Hogan. "Nobody could live up to Tony. Not even Tony. Tony was my best friend, and he was a mess. He second guessed everything he did, he was all over the place. The one thing he did that he didn't second guess, was picking you. I don't think Tony would have done what he did, if he didn't know you were going to be here after he was gone. You're friends are in trouble, you're all alone, your tech is missing, what are you gonna do about?"

"That was all over the place Happy." I said with a laugh and a sniffle stepping out of the bathroom. "I mean, seriously, when did you become our therapist?" I laughed again.

"Oh my God." Peter said walking over to me and giving me a hug. I gave him a quick hug back before stepping away.

"I told you it wasn't your fault. You have to get what he said out of your head. You weren't there to do anything, ok? You blipped, so how is it your fault?" Happy said to me, and all I could do was shrug.

"What's your fault?" Peter asked me. Happy went to the front and started to move the jet to go to London.

"Nothing, it's fine." I said moving away from Peter.

"Tell me." Peter insisted.

"No, it's nothing-"

"Tell me!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Then just tell me!

"I'm not going to stand here and let you yell at me! I'm tired of blaming myself for everything! Happy's right, it's not my fault! It's not my fault you broke up with me! It's not my fault people leave me! It's not my fault my dad shot himself! None of that is my fault, and I'm tired of believing that it is! I can't live like that anymore! Every time I see you, I replay that night on the fire escape in my mind, and each time it breaks me more and more! And I just have to sit there and pretend that I'm ok, because I see how fine you are! I can't keep having panic attacks and act like it's nothing! I can't keep doing this to myself! It's driving me insane! I'm starting to love myself enough to realize that I'm worth more than to let someone yell at me!" I yelled at Peter before storming into the bathroom.

⚠️TW STARTS NOW⚠️

It was hard to breathe. The adrenaline that was just running through my veins was fleeting. Come on breathe. Now is not the time to have a panic attack. Not now. Not now!

"You're ok, you're ok, you're ok, just breathe, you're ok." I whispered to myself tears falling down my face. "Please, no, no, no! Calm down!"

"Josie?" Peter asked. "Are you ok? Open the door." I couldn't respond through all the hot tears and heavy breathing. "Josie, please, open the door." He said calmly. I slowly opened the door and was immediately met by arms. "I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. I put you through so much, and I keep putting you through more. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's- it's fine." I stutter out taking deep breaths.

"No, it's not. And I'm sorry." Peter said softly hugging me.

I quickly wiped my tears and put a smile on my face. "You can't keep fighting in that suit."

"There's technology in here to make a new suit!" Happy called from the front. Did he hear everything I said before? Did he just ignore it? Classic Happy.